Wife says no to porn and toys

What will she say “yes” to? Does she read smutty/romance novels? Does she talk about her sexual feelings/experience? What’s her fantasy?

I realize I may be stating the obvious, but, you have to meet her where she is at.

If you haven’t already, Emily Nagoski has a couple of great books you should read together. I cannot imagine they wouldn’t begin discussions about sex.
 
I don't know. That seems pretty extreme. Maybe a good time for some couples therapy to find out why she's adverse to so many things.
It might help her see that you're not being unreasonable.
 
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My wife of 46 years is the same with one exception, she loves her Hitachi Magic Wand. It has become her one and only "toy". She got her first one decades ago when she went to a sex therapist because she had trouble having an orgasm. I was shocked that she even went to a doctor about this at all. Even though it was a long time ago, I distinctly remember her locking herself in the bedroom alone and masturbating for hours with it. The odd thing was/is that she never masturbated before or since.

I tried to capitalize on her adding the Hitachi by suggesting we try a dildo. She reluctantly said she's try it and told me to buy one. I really wanted her to select it but she didn't want to have anything to do with the purchase. I got her one of those "rabbit" type, with the rolling ball bearings and the clit vibrator. We/She used it twice and it never really made an impression on her. I had hoped she would enjoy the "fuller" feeling and the foreplay that accompanied using it, but that idea withered away from being ignored.

I've made some assumptions about her experiencing orgasms that are clearly ignorant. I assumed that if she had this "over the top" orgasm, that she would want it again and crave the experience. That simply has not proved to be true. I have yet to find what makes my wife crave anything. I'm often torn between thinking I'm the problem, I just don't evoke that in her, and on the other side, I tell myself she's the issue, she knows what's going on and she doesn't want to change. Either way it leaves a gap in an otherwise perfect marriage.
 
My wife of 46 years is the same with one exception, she loves her Hitachi Magic Wand. It has become her one and only "toy". She got her first one decades ago when she went to a sex therapist because she had trouble having an orgasm. I was shocked that she even went to a doctor about this at all. Even though it was a long time ago, I distinctly remember her locking herself in the bedroom alone and masturbating for hours with it. The odd thing was/is that she never masturbated before or since.

I tried to capitalize on her adding the Hitachi by suggesting we try a dildo. She reluctantly said she's try it and told me to buy one. I really wanted her to select it but she didn't want to have anything to do with the purchase. I got her one of those "rabbit" type, with the rolling ball bearings and the clit vibrator. We/She used it twice and it never really made an impression on her. I had hoped she would enjoy the "fuller" feeling and the foreplay that accompanied using it, but that idea withered away from being ignored.

I've made some assumptions about her experiencing orgasms that are clearly ignorant. I assumed that if she had this "over the top" orgasm, that she would want it again and crave the experience. That simply has not proved to be true. I have yet to find what makes my wife crave anything. I'm often torn between thinking I'm the problem, I just don't evoke that in her, and on the other side, I tell myself she's the issue, she knows what's going on and she doesn't want to change. Either way it leaves a gap in an otherwise perfect marriage.
Somewhat similar to mine. Loves her vibes. Never asks for the dildos and it's always up to me to get them out.
I find it's all in the timing and the dildos are an occasional use item. Definitely not every time or she gets funny about it.
I think I've made progress though. Last time when she was extremely horny I got out the thicker black one.. she took it all and was dripping her juices all over it. I can't fuck her with it because of its size. It's not huge but she's always been very tight. Instead I got it all in her and then gave her an orgasm with her vibe. It was the biggest orgasm I've ever seen her have and I think she may have squirted a bit for the first time. I'm waiting to see her reaction when I get it out next time.
Maybe just keep at it in a polite way and you never know what might happen.
 
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Somewhat similar to mine. Loves her vibes. Never asks for the dildos and it's always up to me to get them out.
I find it's all in the timing and the dildos are an occasional use item. Definitely not every time or she gets funny about it.
I think I've made progress though. Last time when she was extremely horny I got out the thicker black one.. she took it all and was dripping her juices all over it. I can't fuck her with it because of its size. It's not huge but she's always been very tight. Instead I got it all in her and then gave her an orgasm with her vibe. It was the biggest orgasm I've ever seen her have and I think she may have squirted a bit for the first time. I'm waiting to see her reaction when I get it out next time.
Maybe just keep at it in a polite way and you never know what might happen.
I'll bet that squirting for the first time shocked her somewhat. It will be interesting for you to find out if that squirting orgasm creates a desire for more or if she decides that was too much. I've had to learn to live by the, "just keep at it in a polite way". It's always been slow subtle gentle nudging for me and I've had mixed results.
 
Invest in a womanizer liberty, and start with that one, and you will se she discovers new pleasures and hights.

I invested in womanizer duo two first, and she was hooked right away, and our play eased up with fantasies, but now after I bought Liberty, thats her favorite with mine inside her at same time, even I get more turned on when she use the Duo.

Liberty have clean innocent look/design, and not so scary.

Good luck

 
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My wife wasnt as hesitant to try toys as she is to watch porn. She has asked me before if i wanted to watch it while we have sex but it always lead to an argument so i just stopped trying that option. Id rather watch HER using the toy than any porn anyways. Maybe just buy her a toy and get it out after you've have a few drinks and things are getting hot and heavy.
 
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