A lengthy introduction and request for advice

penc1ld1kt

Male
Nov 13, 2022
261
556
133
Long time listener, first time caller :). this started out as a quick intro and request for advice but once I started I found it hard to stop typing. Hopefully there is also some real life content you will find enjoyable - I as a reader always find the real life stuff so much more of a turn on than extreme fiction. If you are one of those people you may like to follow the asterisks where I have noted some titillating asides. Obviously if I’m being boring or it's not your thing you will stop reading but thanks in advance to those who bear with me and even more thanks to those who take the time to comment.

From an early age I have always fantasised about humiliation, CFNM scenarios and the like. Around puberty this became penis size humiliation [note I don't say small penis humiliation as I am fully aware that I am of average endowment but I love to be told this is not enough]. This was piqued In my early teen years when my best friend at the time - who I know to be well endowed – wooed a girl I fancied but who had me firmly in the friend zone*.

From there my fantasies developed into forced bi scenarios and all these coincided with the advent of the Internet so that I could fully explore the cuckold fetish. Like most however I explored this fantasy alone engaging the services of the odd dominatrix here and there but never have I had the courage to live it out in real life.

Due to massive insecurities, chronic shyness and related erectile dysfunction [I often go soft during sex despite having obtained a strong erection at the start of proceedings. Cialis helped but led to delayed ejaculation] I had only one girlfriend before I married. My wife who is 8 years my junior and as a Catholic from the rural Philippines [we met in a large city in Southeast Asia] was very inexperienced when we first met**.

So, how hot is your wife you little cuckold?

For the benefit of those seeking titillation and jack off fodder I will give a brief description of my wife. She is 5 foot 2 and weighs about 51KG [I think that is around 110 pounds]. she has given birth twice but has maintained a very sexy figure. A size 8 with B cup breasts coke bottle hips and a delightful Peach of a backside that I love to bite. Before the kids her pussy was unbelievably tight. I have never experienced anything like it - there also seemed to be a second compartment that when I fully inserted myself would squeeze my cock head even more so then the first four or so inches. Since giving birth she is still quite tight however that second compartment does not seem to be there anymore - or perhaps I just can't reach it now but someone else could ;-P
 
Where I’m trying to get:



As I said, I have always fantasised about being cucked and am aroused by much of the content of this site [I find the ‘real’ stuff much more of a turn on than the fictional prose and videos all over the net]. I do not think I could ever handle it actually happening but I would like a bit of cuck play in the bedroom.



To this end, in my possession are a number of toys that I have not yet had the courage/ opportunity to use with a partner. this includes:

- RodeOH crotchless panties strap on-harness. Note this harness includes a pouch for a bullet vibrator or could accommodate a double ended affair.

- a 5” x 1.5” dildo [My wife knows I play with this solo but has not expressed much interest in assisting me]

- two cock sleeves – one that fits perfectly on the dildo to make it pretty much an identical size to my own penis and another that fits my erection perfectly to give me an extra inch of length and about an extra half inch of girth.



So there are three things I would like to try not necessarily in any order:

- have my wife ride the dildo [preferably with at least one of the slaves on] while I service her orally

- penetrate My wife with the largest sleeve on [or her take the dildo with both sleeves on]

- have my wife peg me with the smaller sleeve on - I have been able to take it solo to the point that I can now easily take it without the sleeve. I can now vouch for myself that size does indeed matter. That extra girth and length is so much more satisfying even anally.



Where we are now:



My wife started a new job about a year ago after taking a course online during the pandemic that allowed her to get better work for better pay - on the odd occasion where she has pulled a lot of overtime she has earned more than me on payday. I have made leading comments on such occasions such as “you are the man of the house now” just trying to plant the seed for a good solid pegging.



At her previous work most of her colleagues were similar to her in that they were married and seemingly resigned to a life of monogamy born out of custom and/or financial dependence. At her new employer, she is now settled into regular shifts and has a small circle of female confidantes with a very interesting dynamic. I will list them below with pseudonyms. As many of the readers will be viewing this for titillation I will include a brief physical description noting that they're all Filipino.



April: A divorcee with one chyld. She has always been gay but married to escape the situation she was in when young but some years back came out to her now ex husband. My wife told me recently of a dream about April showing her the strap on she uses with her partner. When I asked if it went any further my wife made a face that indicated her heterosexuality is more staunch than mine. My wife also mentioned recently that April was looking at her in a way that made her slightly uncomfortable and commenting that she was “beautiful”. April is Early 40s with perfect skin. She is only slightly shorter than me I would guess 5 foot 8. body is a bit of a mystery to me as I have not seen her wear anything remotely revealing.



May: A friend of my wife's from her previous employer who took the same course and move to the same job a year previous to my wife. May recently separated acrimoniously from her husband. There have been a number of unexplained absences in engagements from work and social situations. Possibly reuniting with the ex, attending therapy or as I said to my wife “maybe she's just enjoying being single”. May is Mid-to-late 40s, and having not had children has maintained a very trim, petite figure with legs that would not be out of place on the catwalk.



Julie: Is married to a man about one decade her senior who returned home for a holiday in the UK recently where Julie learned he had cheated on her. About last week I was told that they were staying together for the sake of their sun. The twist is that they have agreed it will be an open relationship. When I asked if this was at the husband’s bidding as I had assumed I was in fact told no, it was Julie's demand. Julie is late 30s with something of a homely figure, probably a size 10 to 12 standing roughly 5 foot 4. She does have a sexy countenance that I suspect could lead to some attitude in the bedroom.



June: also married [there are about two decades between them]. Apparently when they were discussing julie's problems June said that she knew her husband who travels a lot was most likely cheating. Her opinion was that she wasn't bothered as long as he kept supplying the money for her beauty regimen [which includes getting work done]. She maintains a very trim figure and could not be any taller than 5 feet even. She is very much a coquette and ensures the group shares to quote my wife “no secrets”***



Our current sex life:



I think it would be rated as pretty good for a married couple of 11 years who were together for one year prior to marriage. We have sex probably one to four times per week and when my wife is menstruating or not in the mood she will often give me a hand job or play with my balls while I get myself off [which of course plays to my cuck fetish].



I introduced my wife to vibrators early on in our relationship and she's more than comfortable using them externally while I use my mouth. This is the way she will achieve orgasm 99% of the time. We will then typically move to penetration with me rock hard as a result of using my mouth [which I just love to do]. She will sometimes orgasm from penetration thanks to the toy warming her up. Generally penetrative sex will last between one to 10 minutes depending on how much she's enjoying it. To my joy she discovered how much I love having my balls or perineum played with and that I cannot last very long once she does this. Thus I can usually tell when she is not really into it because she will go to that move very early on, I will be turned on both because I realise I'm not really pleasuring her [because of my pencil dick of course] and the thought of being a premature ejaculator gets me off [literally].



My wife meanwhile always seems to think it's hilarious when I come and pretty much always laughs which again unwittingly plays to my cuckold leanings. She loves being able to make me come almost on demand and as a wannabe cuck I love her having this power over me.



Whenever intercourse goes beyond the five to 10 minute mark though if I haven't come I tend to go soft. I think this is because I can no longer be humiliated in my own head such that I stay fully stimulated. When she is really turned on my wife loves it when I pound her really hard, in particular taking her doggy style, spanking her exquisite butt and pulling her hair. Doggy style seems to be a position that particularly provokes my erectile dysfunction**** [probably because of the angle of insertion] so I imagine she can get quite frustrated when she just wants to be pounded - like most good cucks I'm good with my mouth and willing to use toys but just do not have the equipment or alpha male persona necessary for the good long hard fuck my wife both craves and deserves.



I have recently found a way to keep the erection going for a little bit longer which involves dirty talk. I will say things like “You love being fucked long and by a big cock don’t you naughty girl?” to which she will gasp “Yes”. Ostensibly I am talking to her about me fucking her however you will notice in the phrasing I never mentioned myself at all. it seems to turn the both of us on but as I say I am just not man enough to keep it going for long. Sometimes she will respond she will use dirty talk to try and get me over the edge, usually “fuck my pussy with that dick” though I only really twigged while typing this that she has never used “Big” when describing my dick. Its absence is notable given I always emphasise a “big cock” when I am dirty talking.



We use withdrawal as contraception with condoms used on very rare occasions. Depending on the position, I will usually come on her back or stomach or pull out from spooning position and come all over myself. I am always on cleanup duty which to this point has involved only tissues. I of course fantasise about being ‘made’ to lick it up but I think doing it in reality would gross her out. it should be noted that I have never come inside her except for when we were trying to conceive. It of course turns me on to think about someone else being allowed to do that while I am denied.



Recent events that make me think we could move toward some or all of my fetishes:



1.The text conversation:



As my wife leaves the house early for work I am often awake and alone nursing a morning erection. A few months ago with a view to grooming my wife toward taking a dildo in front of me I started the below text conversation while she was on the bus to work:



ME: OMG baby x I want to tell you about my naughty dream

HER: Hahahah okay. So naughty!!

ME: But I know you're my angel so maybe it's too naughty

HER: Hahhah I can be naughty too

ME: I know hehe :p

HER: OmG! U played with Jr.*****

ME: Not yet ;-P

HER: HEhehehe

ME: In my dream I came into the bedroom and I found you naked looking so sexy with your hot body. But you're doing something very naughty

HER: Tsk tsk tsk!

ME: Mmm very naughty girl

(Pause to see if she’s into it)

HER: And then did u do something hmmm?

ME: You were riding one of those plastic clocks we saw at the Sex Toy shop. Going up and down like when you ride Jr. It looked so hot :-O

HER: OMg! That is very naughty hehehe

ME: Yes how dare you hehe - but I like it! Your nipples were hard so I started sucking on them. My cock was so hard

HER: How could u now I have to cross my legs hehehe

ME: Then you slid all the way down on that big plastic cock

...

ME: Oops [eldest offspring] is here. I will tell you more later x



although this happened a few months ago we hadn’t mentioned the conversation again until two nights ago when I tried to steer things back there. Unfortunately she just wasn't in the mood having been at work all day so she told me I could “play with him”. So indeed I did! I jerked off for a little while at which point she told me I needed some Lube [JOI anyone?] so I complied and began to get more enthusiastic particularly when she started playing with my little shaven balls [“so smooth” she commented] and within about 20 desperate pumps of my hand I came all over myself.



She then looked at my now flaccid member and said “oh look at Junior. Sleeping like a baby”. “A big baby” I said in mock outrage to which she just laughed that laugh she generally reserves for when she makes me come too quick.



2. exercise and potential pegging

recently my wife has started exercising daily in an attempt to improve her already impressive physique. I know this can be a sign of a partner straying or at least thinking about it. As an aside, she will often do this not wearing much in front of me after the youngsters are in bed which gives me a great view of her butt and pussy. I then of course have no choice but to service her orally which generally leads to her favourite toy coming out of the bedside drawer. Anyway, out of the blue when we were both in bed one morning just before she was to get out of bed and exercise [and after she had allowed me to pump away for three minutes before the inevitable sticky mess I left on her backside] she said that her taking me doggy style would be good exercise for her. As I mentioned she does know I have a dildo that I use solo [though she doesn't know about the harness]. Immediately I said that I would be happy for her to do that to which she replied “Oh my God you're a bacla” which is the Filipino term for an effeminate male homosexual. A few days later I was leaning forward to retrieve an item from the pantry when she grabbed my hips and made a couple of thrusts as if she was taking me from behind. I do this to her quite often so it may have been a revenge drive-by but it might also have been a signal that it on her mind. I have tracked down a podcast from Ruby Ryder that I could use at some point to hopefully allay her concerns regarding me turning gay. I need two things – an anal douche as things get slightly messy during my solo play plus the courage to let her know how much this concept turns me on.



3. Her new social circle

As I mentioned above she has moved to a social circle that now includes divorcees and open relationships. Previously she had only really associated with other married women in pure vanilla relations. The horizons of her new friends have now expanded and extramarital sex is definitely more of a thing.
 
4. The teasing



this seems to have led to her being more coquettish and even some teasing with a cuckolding bent. We have always playfully teased each other about cheating, generally innocent and completely jocular remarks surrounding the landlords sun or dawter. this is a bit of an in joke between us after one of my wife's married friends had a paranoid husband who genuinely suspected this was going on in their own marriage.







In a quiet moment alone though within the last week we engaged in that playful teasing again with her implying I was going to cheat on her after she left for work. I playfully mentioned I would be taking my girlfriend to lunch to which she unexpectedly replied much in the manner of her friend June “I don't care, as long as the money is in the bank”. I playfully said “well I better cancel the date 'cause now I can't pay for lunch” and it ended there. This was a definite deviation from our usual play in this area though.







In another conversation within recent days she talked teasingly about how “we can just be friends” like my mother and father who have long been separated but are on good terms. The implication was a relationship like Julie’s that has us under the same roof for the sake of the kydz. That night - which was the eve of her birthday - we went to bed and I slowly seduced her kissing her neck from behind the way she likes before aggressively rolling her onto her back and roughly sucking her nipples. I then went down to pay close attention to her pussy. She was very wet and I licked my way up and down her vulva tasting her cream before - following her moans as a guide to how I was going - eventually setting to work on her clit. As per usual custom I was rock hard rubbing my cock on the bed as I supplicated between my wife's legs. Yet even with my tongue my beta male skills were not enough and she said “I'm going to get my toy”. Often times when this occurs I will use my fingers inside her front passage add my tongue in her rear while she holds the toy on her clit. Through years of reading her body language however I could tell she didn't want that tonight and as she lay on her side I simply kissed her neck and rubbed my 6 inch pencil on her leg.







She had a very intense orgasm from this which she rolled away from me to appreciate by herself leaving me being denied any credit for rocking her world. After she came down from that she rolled onto her stomach which is usually the signal that I am permitted to enter her wet pussy add explode within minutes if not seconds. In anticipation of this I had been lying on my back jerking off and noticing this, still lying face down she brought her size 7 foot to gently stroke my small, shaven scrotum. As she is well aware, I absolutely love having my balls played with though she had never done it with her feet before. To my cuck lens this of course meant she didn't even want to waste her time using her hands on me, let alone her mouth or pussy.







She noticed how much I enjoyed what she was doing and asked if I “just wanted to play with him”. this was of course a dream come true for a wannabe cuck and in answer I reached for the lube in the bedside drawer. She continued to use her foot on my undersized little sack as I began to increase the speed of my strokes. She then reached for her Majesty 2 vibrator and put it on my taint. Just above the entrance to my anus. There was no way I could hold back and after only a few seconds of this stimulation I exploded covering my abdomen in my own semen while she guffawed at my spasms of pleasure. This had been a truly seminal [pardon the pun] moment for me. It of course played to the fantasy of being denied intercourse or even hand contact due to the insignificance off my genitals and my sexual performance. To my surprise this was then followed by her telling me “see, we can just be friends” which seemed to indicate she too had noted what had just transpired. A flag that she would consider a relationship where I was denied penetration. This was something of a turn on but I also got my first ever feeling of genuine cuckold angst.







Girls’ nights out.



With her new social circle and our improved financial position my wife has been able to enjoy a few girls only events which have so far only taken place at her colleagues houses or on daytrips where each have been accompanied by their progeny. So, while girl talk has taken place there has been no genuine opportunity for her to stray. That is going to change in the very near future as they have a dinner planned for November 18 - no husbands, no kydz and then [even more dangerously] an end of year celebration that will include a boozy dinner before visiting a nightclub for dancing.







I should mention my wife is a very good dancer, she rivals Shakira in her ability to move her hips in time with the music that no man could fail to find arousing. She has bought a number of new dresses specifically for this night and even modelled them for me which once again triggers my cuck fetish. This is already giving me cuckold angst as I imagine her - the youngest and sexiest of her group - garnering much male attention and in her inebriation this leading to something sexual. Namely, her discovering a thirst for new, harder and bigger cocks. It triggers the cuckold angst but also a rock hard erection!







You still with me? The actual point of this expansive post.



So, if anyone is still reading please let me know any feedback you have and for those cucks and wannabe cucks who have any suggestions for how I can gently move things forward within the limits of me just wanting play with my wife, I would appreciate your advice. Hope you enjoy the titillating asides below :)





*titillating aside#1: at one point my friend and I [high school age at the time] were arguing over who had the bigger penis when my female friend speculated that the length of a penis could be judged from the measurement of the heel of a man's palm to the tip of his middle finger, and the width by the distance between the visible tendons on the inside of the wrist. We of course immediately held our palm's up to each other’s and it was evident he had about an inch more than me in length as well as a considerable advantage in width. It was so hot to think that all three of us in the room were aware of how much bigger he was than me - her smirk afterward said it all and would inspire many of my fledgling masturbation sessions.















** titillating aside#2: my wife has told me she only had sex with one person before - her boyfriend back in her hometown who ended up cheating on her while she was abroad. She has also told me I was much bigger than him downstairs [but she would say that wouldn't she?]. She did seem genuinely concerned about my size when we first had sex - I am just under 6 inches long [14.5cm] and 4.5 inches around (11.5cm), so not a monster. However, early in our relationship I did see she was tagged in a photo by a white English guy [he was presumably abroad in the same city not long before I met her] and in that photo my now wife is lying on a bed [fully clothed] on her side resting her head on one hand in a somewhat seductive pose. Most interestingly in that photo she is wearing the expression I know so well that is her reaction to me making a suggestive remark. I have never asked her about this because it was before we met but I of course have fantasised that perhaps she had a fling with this guy and he in fact is the biggest she has had. according to the-penis.com/size1.html my length (14.5cm) is smaller than over 55% of those surveyed and my girth [purportedly much more important than length] of 11.5cm is smaller than over 85% of those surveyed thus the odds of this Englishman having a penis at least as long as mine and certainly thicker than mine are very likely. More masturbation fodder for me!















***titillating aside#3: I have told my wife my what my precise measurements are – this was early in the relationship when she considered me big. I wonder if she is ever shared this data with any of her friends. It turns me on to think that some of them know my exact size and have likely informed my wife that I am unexceptional and possibly even slightly thinner than the norm. I also wonder whether any other of her friends have similar data on their husbands or exes. To think they know where each of us lies on the size spectrum is a huge turn on. I of course fantasise I am the smallest.















**** titillating aside#4: My one and only ex ended our relationship after three weeks of mediocre sex affected by inability to sustain an erection. She even said “I can’t feel you inside me” not long before the end. Following that she tried to seduce a friend of mine who is taller, more muscular and more well endowed than me. He didn’t go for it but I realised I missed a chance at a real cuckold relationship. She was a hot woman with an athletic body but was convinced she was unattractive/fat. Making a guy come really gave her validation so I think being a cuckoldress and fucking as many men as she wanted would have been great for her psychologically.















*****titillating aside#5 ‘Junior’ is what we have named my penis – the connotations for size humiliation only became apparent to me after the fact. I am hoping at some point for the cock sleeve to become known ‘Senior’ so she can ask for it. That would also feed the cuckolding side of it and make it like she was fucking someone else.















****** titillating aside#6: when we watched porn together early in our relationship she always commented on how big the male protagonists balls were [although she never mentioned it I am sure she also marvelled at the size of their members]. I have a fairly small scrotum and what I think are slightly below average size testes so they don't really hang or swing as impressively as do those of more blessed men [i.e. the majority]. They even sometimes disappear into my stomach when I’m lying on my back. I wonder if the “no secrets” coven my wife is now in includes this