Awkward AF - But she is a horny woman

[svenorcle]

Hi Guys,



Hear my story and tell me your thought PLEASE!



I knew my wife for 2 years before we got married, she is the horniest woman Ive ever met or probably heard about - the first 2 years were only about sex - 4 or 5 times a day and that was not probably enough for her… she used to tell me about getting wet when I ring her up and then send me a photo of what is going on down there!



we then got married and the first year I just didnt feel like doing more than perhaps over the weekend, she hated that - But I had something else going sex-wise (phantasies fulfilled elsewhere) - she didnt know (I assume) and I never felt like bringing them up with her - She started telling me that she feels like she wants to be with a woman but I did not entertain the idea - she told me she wanted no taboos of any kind! but she got a “No” from me to bring this into our life.

So, we went for almost 3 years where sex dropped to almost once every 6 months! we stopped even talking about it. I dont know if she had something else going! More than likely yes.



We had our first kid and still sex was rare! but then 2 years later I discovered that she was cheating on me with my best friend! Caught them together on my bed too! That killed me, the relationship was completely damaged and for almost 3 years after that we were separated and didnt talk much - I lived on my own and she lived with our child and I only visited them 3-4 times a week, I was able to afford all the expenses and she lived a decent life, we didnt get divorced. dont ask me why, I dont know.



Now for almost a year, We started talking again, I did a lot of therapy, I got over the cheating incident - yes completely, we tried to have sex again but she was not into it what so ever.. I still believe she is the horniest but I dont tick the box for her anymore - I dont know what else has been going on in her life.



Now that I cant be part of her sex life - I am considering the idea of bringing in someone else to do it - May be get a girl first as she is into that but what I really feel like is seeing a man banging her like I used to! a BBC! I am capable of smashing her but I am now a turn off for her.

what do you guys think? do you think this is even approachable?

 

[Hwcouple702]

YOU don't bring ANYONE into HER sex life!! Fix your marriage. Forgive her for the cheating, let her know you completely understand why she did it and that it's ok to continue it. 3 years of separation and no sex?? She's getting fucked plenty by other guys. Nothing wrong with that though, let her know. Don't screw up your relationship with your kid either. Just try to get back together. Why on earth would you leave the mother of your kid for "cheating"? Especially when that's what you want? FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!

Mrs Hotwife

 

[svenorcle]

YOU don't bring ANYONE into HER sex life!! Fix your marriage. Forgive her for the cheating, let her know you completely understand why she did it and that it's ok to continue it. 3 years of separation and no sex?? She's getting fucked plenty by other guys. Nothing wrong with that though, let her know. Don't screw up your relationship with your kid either. Just try to get back together. Why on earth would you leave the mother of your kid for "cheating"? Especially when that's what you want? FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!

Mrs Hotwife

Thanks

I want her to fuck other guys/girls with my knowledge - she doesnt have to stress about hiding anything - Our marriage is still alive perhaps because of the child, but it is practically just a marriage document and I am fully supporting her financially and we dont have to fight it in courts - I want to break the ice - we have tried to have sex but she is not into it even with all the alcohol that we consumed to try and help!

Breaking the ice will also mean I can, with her knowledge, see other women - I dont want secrets anymore - Life is too short

Thoughts?

 

[Hwcouple702]

Thanks

I want her to fuck other guys/girls with my knowledge - she doesnt have to stress about hiding anything - Our marriage is still alive perhaps because of the child, but it is practically just a marriage document and I am fully supporting her financially and we dont have to fight it in courts - I want to break the ice - we have tried to have sex but she is not into it even with all the alcohol that we consumed to try and help!

Breaking the ice will also mean I can, with her knowledge, see other women - I dont want secrets anymore - Life is too short

Thoughts?

One of those most important "lifestyle" truisms.....don't enter the lifestyle to fix a broken relationship. Try to repair your relationship before endeavoring on any sort of outside sexual pursuits. This will turn really frustrating and unsatisfying for you.

 

[Demented_Donny]

Hi Guys,



Hear my story and tell me your thought PLEASE!



I knew my wife for 2 years before we got married, she is the horniest woman Ive ever met or probably heard about - the first 2 years were only about sex - 4 or 5 times a day and that was not probably enough for her… she used to tell me about getting wet when I ring her up and then send me a photo of what is going on down there!



we then got married and the first year I just didnt feel like doing more than perhaps over the weekend, she hated that - But I had something else going sex-wise (phantasies fulfilled elsewhere) - she didnt know (I assume) and I never felt like bringing them up with her - She started telling me that she feels like she wants to be with a woman but I did not entertain the idea - she told me she wanted no taboos of any kind! but she got a “No” from me to bring this into our life.

So, we went for almost 3 years where sex dropped to almost once every 6 months! we stopped even talking about it. I dont know if she had something else going! More than likely yes.



We had our first kid and still sex was rare! but then 2 years later I discovered that she was cheating on me with my best friend! Caught them together on my bed too! That killed me, the relationship was completely damaged and for almost 3 years after that we were separated and didnt talk much - I lived on my own and she lived with our child and I only visited them 3-4 times a week, I was able to afford all the expenses and she lived a decent life, we didnt get divorced. dont ask me why, I dont know.



Now for almost a year, We started talking again, I did a lot of therapy, I got over the cheating incident - yes completely, we tried to have sex again but she was not into it what so ever.. I still believe she is the horniest but I dont tick the box for her anymore - I dont know what else has been going on in her life.



Now that I cant be part of her sex life - I am considering the idea of bringing in someone else to do it - May be get a girl first as she is into that but what I really feel like is seeing a man banging her like I used to! a BBC! I am capable of smashing her but I am now a turn off for her.

what do you guys think? do you think this is even approachable?

well you shit on her appetite for other sex early on, judged her for wanting another woman involved, then you want to show up and have your fantasy fulfilled? you fucked up dude. it isn't that she isn't interested in sex, it's she isn't interested in sex with you. that can be fixed, but you really dropped the ball. you need on gaining her respect back, as well as feeling comfortable with you. right now even if she says she is, she isn't. im even confused on why she would get back together with you unless it was for financial support.

 

[svenorcle]

One of those most important "lifestyle" truisms.....don't enter the lifestyle to fix a broken relationship. Try to repair your relationship before endeavoring on any sort of outside sexual pursuits. This will turn really frustrating and unsatisfying for you.

Thats exactly what I’m here for - I understand it is not a walk in the park.. I want to hear from those who have the experience

Let me elaborate a little more and I appreciate your patience with me

- We had massive damage that took years to get us to where we are - it is a good relationship, we never argue/fight and when there is any conflict, we fix it in a glimpse of an eye, we had years of crap and we both learned the hard way that it only ruins our life - we both did therapy, we have a lot of awareness and we tick very well when it comes to “stressing out”, we quickly win!

- The sex is not there, She doesnt even want to talk about it - there is certainly something going and my gut feel she might be seeing a “woman”, but knowing her, she is more “Bi” than gay.

- Something has to change, I want to talk to her about it, I have zero interest in starting another relationship and fix my sex life, I am OK day to day being with her - but we both want sex obviously but not together - I stay at hers 2-3 nights a week, but we sleep in separate rooms.

- I think the repair that is now needed in this relationship is only about each one of us being sexually satisfied - with no secrets but it just cannot be me and her together

 

[svenorcle]

well you shit on her appetite for other sex early on, judged her for wanting another woman involved, then you want to show up and have your fantasy fulfilled? you fucked up dude. it isn't that she isn't interested in sex, it's she isn't interested in sex with you. that can be fixed, but you really dropped the ball. you need on gaining her respect back, as well as feeling comfortable with you. right now even if she says she is, she isn't. im even confused on why she would get back together with you unless it was for financial support.

Yes I dropped the ball there and I know exactly what I have done wrong - I have no shame in admitting my massive share in the damage that has been caused. And the financial support is 50% of the reason we still talk, the other 50% is the child. I have become a better person and have come a long way thanks to the therapy that I have done.
I have done a lot to try and bring sex back into the picture, travelled together, beaches, hotels, clubs.. not happening - Not sure what else I can do..

 

[Hwcouple702]

Thats exactly what I’m here for - I understand it is not a walk in the park.. I want to hear from those who have the experience

Let me elaborate a little more and I appreciate your patience with me

- We had massive damage that took years to get us to where we are - it is a good relationship, we never argue/fight and when there is any conflict, we fix it in a glimpse of an eye, we had years of crap and we both learned the hard way that it only ruins our life - we both did therapy, we have a lot of awareness and we tick very well when it comes to “stressing out”, we quickly win!

- The sex is not there, She doesnt even want to talk about it - there is certainly something going and my gut feel she might be seeing a “woman”, but knowing her, she is more “Bi” than gay.

- Something has to change, I want to talk to her about it, I have zero interest in starting another relationship and fix my sex life, I am OK day to day being with her - but we both want sex obviously but not together - I stay at hers 2-3 nights a week, but we sleep in separate rooms.

- I think the repair that is now needed in this relationship is only about each one of us being sexually satisfied - with no secrets but it just cannot be me and her together

Honestly, just leave it alone. You don't really have a "marriage" and you have no outlet for your sexual desires. She IS getting her sexual desires fulfilled elsewhere. If you want to preserve whatever it is that you have, just find somebody else for sex and let this go. Why would she want you involved in ANYTHING having to do with her sex life when she won't even discuss sex with you at all?

If you are lucky, in your search for a sex partner in life you will also find a woman who actually loves you and wants to be a "life partner" rather than just have you as some guy who pays the bills. Divorce is no fun and you have a kid involved, but start looking for something different in your life. This relationship is OVER.

 

[Demented_Donny]

Yes I dropped the ball there and I know exactly what I have done wrong - I have no shame in admitting my massive share in the damage that has been caused. And the financial support is 50% of the reason we still talk, the other 50% is the child. I have become a better person and have come a long way thanks to the therapy that I have done.
I have done a lot to try and bring sex back into the picture, travelled together, beaches, hotels, clubs.. not happening - Not sure what else I can do..

quit spending your time and resources on someone that does not complete you. you are chasing someone that doesn't want to be caught. as mentioned in the previous post this is over, but i don't think you are ready to move on or can't accept it.

 

[svenorcle]

quit spending your time and resources on someone that does not complete you. you are chasing someone that doesn't want to be caught. as mentioned in the previous post this is over, but i don't think you are ready to move on or can't accept it.

I think you both are making a lot of sense..
I think we are not prepared for a “divorce” and on my end, it is more that I have zero interest in starting a new relationship and on hers it is a combination of “financial support” and a “good father” that still exists.

 

[svenorcle]

Honestly, just leave it alone. You don't really have a "marriage" and you have no outlet for your sexual desires. She IS getting her sexual desires fulfilled elsewhere. If you want to preserve whatever it is that you have, just find somebody else for sex and let this go. Why would she want you involved in ANYTHING having to do with her sex life when she won't even discuss sex with you at all?

If you are lucky, in your search for a sex partner in life you will also find a woman who actually loves you and wants to be a "life partner" rather than just have you as some guy who pays the bills. Divorce is no fun and you have a kid involved, but start looking for something different in your life. This relationship is OVER.

in your opinion, what wud be the best way to handle with her “what is next”… so it is best for everyone including our child..

 

[Hwcouple702]

in your opinion, what wud be the best way to handle with her “what is next”… so it is best for everyone including our child..

Seriously, stop being "her husband" and doing "husband" things. (MOST CERTAINLY continue being the best FATHER you can be though). Stop staying over at her place and doing things according to her priorities and her timeline. Do you have a place? See your kid there. Kids know pretty quickly when something is screwed up with their parents relationship and yours is a bit bizarre. You need to either fix the relationship if she expresses a serious interest in doing so (more counseling of a different sort, perhaps some religious intervention) or stop this charade. You seem to be setup as a tool for her to use at her will and it (seems to me) that you are afraid she will use your kid as some kind of bargaining chip. As in, you keep taking care of me and I will "let" you have a relationship with your kid.

You seriously need some solid legal advice. You have to at least have your ducks in a row and have thought about this. One big reason (along with many others) for this is that although you are not interested in any sort of relationship with another, a woman with a young child and shitty relationship (she has an "ex" now, that is pretty much what you are) certainly is (or will be). WHEN that happens then things will change with you and not for the better.

We see these sorts of things on the site from time to time and they are sad. The amazing part is that the member posting usually has no idea where they are, actually believing that there is some sort of sexual fantasy that can still possibly be played out. It can't and it won't. This is way beyond sex and your sexual fantasies now. Seriously, you're going to need to start over and perhaps you will find someone who can eventually enjoy the same fantasies and engage in them. Sorry, perhaps I misunderstand, but this is hopefully that "wake up call" that things aren't right. On the other hand, I don't KNOW anything about you or your relationship in reality so this (other than seeking legal advice) could be all just meaningless noise from some woman on the internet.

One last bit of advice. DO NOT let this fantasy creep into any relationship you may have or be seeking to have in the near future. We also see members here who seem perfectly happy to let a great relationship deteriorate in order to live out their own sexual fantasies. Although we on this forum consider all of this stuff "normal", most vanilla people would consider us disgraceful and our lifestyle despicable. Although I believe most actually are turned on by the thought of it and by our stories, etc, they still think I am a total slut and that my husband is some sort of fool for being engaged in this. And I don't say that in a "good way". Don't let sexual fantasies cost you a potentially loving relationship with a great person. My 2 cents. Best of luck in all of this and maybe you can keep enjoying the pics and stories from the site if nothing else.

Mrs Hotwife

 

[highwayman420]

Seriously, stop being "her husband" and doing "husband" things. (MOST CERTAINLY continue being the best FATHER you can be though). Stop staying over at her place and doing things according to her priorities and her timeline. Do you have a place? See your kid there. Kids know pretty quickly when something is screwed up with their parents relationship and yours is a bit bizarre. You need to either fix the relationship if she expresses a serious interest in doing so (more counseling of a different sort, perhaps some religious intervention) or stop this charade. You seem to be setup as a tool for her to use at her will and it (seems to me) that you are afraid she will use your kid as some kind of bargaining chip. As in, you keep taking care of me and I will "let" you have a relationship with your kid.

You seriously need some solid legal advice. You have to at least have your ducks in a row and have thought about this. One big reason (along with many others) for this is that although you are not interested in any sort of relationship with another, a woman with a young child and shitty relationship (she has an "ex" now, that is pretty much what you are) certainly is (or will be). WHEN that happens then things will change with you and not for the better.

We see these sorts of things on the site from time to time and they are sad. The amazing part is that the member posting usually has no idea where they are, actually believing that there is some sort of sexual fantasy that can still possibly be played out. It can't and it won't. This is way beyond sex and your sexual fantasies now. Seriously, you're going to need to start over and perhaps you will find someone who can eventually enjoy the same fantasies and engage in them. Sorry, perhaps I misunderstand, but this is hopefully that "wake up call" that things aren't right. On the other hand, I don't KNOW anything about you or your relationship in reality so this (other than seeking legal advice) could be all just meaningless noise from some woman on the internet.

One last bit of advice. DO NOT let this fantasy creep into any relationship you may have or be seeking to have in the near future. We also see members here who seem perfectly happy to let a great relationship deteriorate in order to live out their own sexual fantasies. Although we on this forum consider all of this stuff "normal", most vanilla people would consider us disgraceful and our lifestyle despicable. Although I believe most actually are turned on by the thought of it and by our stories, etc, they still think I am a total slut and that my husband is some sort of fool for being engaged in this. And I don't say that in a "good way". Don't let sexual fantasies cost you a potentially loving relationship with a great person. My 2 cents. Best of luck in all of this and maybe you can keep enjoying the pics and stories from the site if nothing else.

Mrs Hotwife

Well said and completely accurate

 

[Liameggplant]

YOU don't bring ANYONE into HER sex life!! Fix your marriage. Forgive her for the cheating, let her know you completely understand why she did it and that it's ok to continue it. 3 years of separation and no sex?? She's getting fucked plenty by other guys. Nothing wrong with that though, let her know. Don't screw up your relationship with your kid either. Just try to get back together. Why on earth would you leave the mother of your kid for "cheating"? Especially when that's what you want? FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!

Mrs Hotwife

Very well said.

 

[Fishhead_10]

Hi Guys,



Hear my story and tell me your thought PLEASE!



I knew my wife for 2 years before we got married, she is the horniest woman Ive ever met or probably heard about - the first 2 years were only about sex - 4 or 5 times a day and that was not probably enough for her… she used to tell me about getting wet when I ring her up and then send me a photo of what is going on down there!



we then got married and the first year I just didnt feel like doing more than perhaps over the weekend, she hated that - But I had something else going sex-wise (phantasies fulfilled elsewhere) - she didnt know (I assume) and I never felt like bringing them up with her - She started telling me that she feels like she wants to be with a woman but I did not entertain the idea - she told me she wanted no taboos of any kind! but she got a “No” from me to bring this into our life.

So, we went for almost 3 years where sex dropped to almost once every 6 months! we stopped even talking about it. I dont know if she had something else going! More than likely yes.



We had our first kid and still sex was rare! but then 2 years later I discovered that she was cheating on me with my best friend! Caught them together on my bed too! That killed me, the relationship was completely damaged and for almost 3 years after that we were separated and didnt talk much - I lived on my own and she lived with our child and I only visited them 3-4 times a week, I was able to afford all the expenses and she lived a decent life, we didnt get divorced. dont ask me why, I dont know.



Now for almost a year, We started talking again, I did a lot of therapy, I got over the cheating incident - yes completely, we tried to have sex again but she was not into it what so ever.. I still believe she is the horniest but I dont tick the box for her anymore - I dont know what else has been going on in her life.



Now that I cant be part of her sex life - I am considering the idea of bringing in someone else to do it - May be get a girl first as she is into that but what I really feel like is seeing a man banging her like I used to! a BBC! I am capable of smashing her but I am now a turn off for her.

what do you guys think? do you think this is even approachable?

Bro, find someone else and start over. I know first hand what you are going through. My Ex-wife was messing around with a Stud (Black Dyke) who manipulated her to believing I was a bad guy. We have two kids and everyone thought we were the All American Family. Sex faded away and all she wanted me to do was eat her out. I knew what was going on the whole time so I moved into the basement. Stacked my chips, surrounded myself around my kids and put myself last for them. I’m his past April I moved out and our divorce was final in May. I share 50/50 split custody with the Ex.

I will say this, the last week before I moved out she was basically on her knees singing like a canary. “I’ll be more freaking in bed”, Full Transparency”, “Joint Bank Accounts” etc. Naw Bruh life is much better with out her ass around. My kids love being with me for a week. The Ex now takes sleeping meds and cries herself to sleep nightly. She told me she’s in a Rut. Bitch how are you in a Rut when a divorce is what you wanted?

Bro, we can give you all the advice possible but it’s really up to you what you want to do. People would tell me daily to get out, your kids will be fine. This is why I stayed for a whole year but I made a plan while doing so. If you are going to go back, please make a Backup plan and stick to it. Good Luck!

Btw, there’s a lot of good pussy out here. Life ain’t over Man.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

There is some very good advice above. Based upon what I've read about your situation, here is what I would do. I woul sit down with my wife and explain what I need out of the marriage in order for it to continue. Ask her what she needs out of the relationship and what she is willing to put into it. Give her some time to think about the proposal and then set up another time for the two of you to talk again. At that point, either you have something you can work with, or you don't. Keep in mind, if divorce is the option, you are divorcing her, not your child!

Only you know what is best for you and your child. But please understand that your child isn't watching and you are teaching them that this is a normal relationship.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

just ask her if you could lick her pussy and tell her that you want to lick her pussy clean after she fucked other cocks. That will get things going -- good or bad - you need to change.