I have to admit that I am not the smartest in the world and at times I see one thing and think it is something else. When I first joined this site a couple years ago, (took a break from it in the middle) I thought it was a site for women who liked to play. Wives to be specific. I guess I read it as This Wife Likes To Play. I was certainly wrong and maybe should have read it as My Wife Likes To Play because the forums is certainly male dominate. Not that it is a bad thing but what gets tiring is the "I Allow" "I have her do" "I gave her permission" and other male dominate takes on things. In this lifestyle, there is no place for such language. When I see it I just figure you are a phony because that is not what this is all about and you just don't get it. Sure, husbands should and most times are included with decision making but no matter what, the females have the final say.
I guess it would just be nice to see some posting that isn't so male centered but if that is what it is, that is what it is. Just harder for females to participate.
I dunno, I think you may only be considering this from one angle. The vast majority of these husbands who "allow" their wife to pursue sex outside the marriage, are not allowed by their wives to do the same... so I mean, while male permission is involved, how male-dominated is this transaction where the man is not given the same permission by his wife? It would surely be imbalanced if the man was engaging in extra-marital sex of his own accord and then only allowed the wife to with his permission but that's typically not what's going on. Instead the man has granted his wife a freedom he himself does not have. Given the sensitive nature of this type of sexual experience, it is natural that, for it to produce mutual satisfaction and reward, there may need to be some agreed upon limitations.
Of course, this isn't to say that the male isn't getting something out of it, since this is obviously a fantasy from which some sort of sexual fulfillment is derived. I think the main point though, is, in a healthy marriage, both partners have a claim over each other, which they gave to one another when they entered into marriage and this claim should be equal in an ideal situation. Equality does not mean that they should both be free to do whatever they want, at any point, with total disregard for one another's feelings, otherwise that is not a marriage at all.
I mean, look at it this way - what if a wife tells her husband it's fine if he wants to meet his friends for a drink after work... but then he starts going out all the time, stays out late, leaves the wife alone constantly taking care of the kids. What about finances? Should either partner be able to go out and buy whatever they want without any discussion? There are many aspects of a functional relationship that require some degree of understanding about limitations, balance, and reciprocation, even if it comes in different forms.
