"And it affected our marriage. So for many couples, it will remain a fantasy."
One thing my husband and I talk about frequently is that either way, your marriage is going to be affected. This fantasy is one of the most common fantasies married guys have. Most will never mention it seriously to their wives. I believe that most wives wish for sex with other men outside their marriages also. This is borne out by the numbers of admitted affairs by both men and women.
The trouble is this. Do you still have sex with your partner as you've aged? Especially if your partner has no interest in spicing up a sexual relationship? Most couples our age seem to have (just from our observations) little or no sex life any longer. That IS an affected marriage just as much as an open marriage will "affect" the relationship. I believe that sexual frustration is the norm as a couple ages and the marriage continues into older age groups. Eventually, wives just give up on sex and husbands do as well. Maybe they seek an affair, prostitute, or simply masturbate until they too no longer care.
My point is, the end of a marital sex life is a depressing but normal part of a long relationship and aging itself. THAT is an enormous blow to a relationship, although not in the way we may have considered extramarital sex to be. For me, in the end, I have a sex life like I'm a "school girl" in many ways. I love sex, I'm admittedly a "nympho" and can't get enough. I love dating and the pursuit of sex. I love showing my body off to strangers, thus the magazine, calendars, revealing clothing in public and these sites. I love the thought of others getting sexual gratification from my pics, even if we've never met. I love that men I find hot and attractive pursue me and I love giving them what they want. I enjoy doing things their wives won't do. Not simply because of "their pleasure", although pleasuring men is my "kink", but for MY pleasure as well. I love the orgasms and the orgasm I get from another man (or woman actually) is far different than one I attain from masturbation. I would guess it's the same way for men.
So, I hold no illusions that I'm anything but "temporary sexual pleasure" for them but they are the same for me. I don't "fall in love" or anything of the sort. The bottom line from this long post is that either way, extramarital and frequent sex with other partners can be far less destructive than losing the pleasures of sex totally. If a couple can come to grips with that fact, then they might be able to continue to extend their years of sexual satisfaction indefinitely while maintaining a fantastic marriage.
I know I sound a bit bizzare, but EVERY PERSON ON THIS SITE has some sort of kink and fantasy or they wouldn't be here. I'm not afraid to admit it and I'm certain that many of the long time members here understand that I'm a bit "out there". But so are you, even if you don't admit it. I'm not saying that my acting on my fantasies is right for everybody or even many wives. It's just MY way of doing things and I think that many other wives might be able to gain confidence and satisfaction from similar freedom. Most think of women like me as "sluts" and I freely admit I am. I don't care though. I certainly don't want most other people to know anything about this side of me, but I don't regret the way I grew up or the way I am. Hopefully somebody else's wife can find a bit of motivation in this or you husbands can try to relate my situation to them.
Mrs Hw