Fantasy Now - How to Make it Reality

[AnonymousHubby45]

My wife and I have always flirted / made sexy jokes about threesome, etc. Recently, we bought a very large dildo, and she loves being fucked by it. We've escalated from dirty talk "Do you like fucking that big cock?" to sharing a threesome fantasy where she takes another man with a big dick. I would love to watch her fuck a well hung guy, as I think she would really enjoy it, and watching her when she's enjoying herself is really hot to me.

We talked about it being a reality, but she said it would never happen. We talked again later, and her reason isn't that she isn't interested - she would enjoy it - but because she knows she couldn't handle me being with someone else, and feels like it's unfair to me if she can play, but I can't. I told her that that doesn't matter to me. I'm completely satisfied with her, and wouldn't expect any sort of reciprocal agreement. I purposely didn't push the conversation any further after that, giving her time to think about it more.

My plan is to keep up with the fantasies and role playing, but not bring up really trying it again for a while. She may bring it up herself at some point, because she was very clear that the idea excited her.

My questions for people that have gone through similar situations:
1) How long should I wait before bringing it up again, if she doesn't?
2) Besides keeping up fantasy and roleplaying, is there anything else I should be doing to move her towards accepting the idea?

Many thanks for any and all replies!

 

[Curious136]

I don’t have anything to offer because I’m in the same boat. It’s been a part of fantasy play for many years. I believe we were really close before we had kids then it’s not a “motherly” thing to do. Kids are much older now hoping to go away for some long weekends now that Covid is winding down a bit. I have been very honest with her about how horny I get thinking about watching her with someone that had a big dick. She seems to be more accepting to the fantasy role play of late. I’m hoping we will get there at some point seem to be getting closer.
Looking forward to what advice you get. Good luck on your quest. I’ll be rooting for you.

 

[sowanther too]

I am also working on my wife. Need ot find a local couple and we work on the wives

 

[jw_kk]

In the era when I was pushing the fantasy toward reality, I used pillow-talk to stimulate KK's mind and body pretty regularly. Probably every second or third sexual encounter we had involved bedroom role-play and fantasy talk.

Looking back, I was pretty relentless. My strategy was to keep the idea alive in KK's thoughts, until she acted on them on her own. I experimented, listened to KK and watched her reaction to various scenarios. One man, multiple men, cheating, non-consensual sex, BDSM, all over the map... As things progressed, I used toys, blindfolds, bondage, bought her clothes, lingerie, shoes, using role-play as a tool to move along my depraved ideas.

I can't honestly say that things worked out exactly like I imagined - it took about twenty years before KK actually had sex with another man and allowed me to be present and watch. Along the way, KK did indulge those fantasies as reality, but without my knowledge or involvement - she had numerous infidelities, from one-night drunken fucks to more traditional affairs.

In the end, the tipping point to open hotwifing was a destructive affair of my own. During the time KK and I were in the process of reconciliation, I had continual back-sliding events with my affair partner. Eventually revenge drove KK over the edge. The years of indulgent, erotic role-play were the foundation and backdrop for her reaching the point of living as a hot wife rather than a cheater.

My observations during this process allowed me to learn what aroused KK; scenarios involving multiple men, risky, public sex, exhibitionism, and dominating men. Those scenarios produced consistent results; smashing orgasms, usually multiples of them, squirting, and orgasmic bliss. KK thrived on me using my cock, a dildo and my words to describe to her being the center of a gangbang, pleasured by, and pleasuring dozens of men. It would drive her into writhing, squirming whole-body orgasms. In the transition to hotwifing, KK even acted one of these fantasies out - unfortunately it was on her own, I was exposed only to the aftermath, a hotel suite in shambles, a drunken, used cum-dumpster of a wife, left a wreck after she organized her own hotel gangbang... an event I was locked out of.

 

[AnonymousHubby45]

Thanks for the response! My plan is basically what you described - ramping up the variety and intensity of fantasies and roleplaying, and making she she knows that no matter what she is safe and secure with me. I already know that she likes big cock, and we've roleplayed while using a big dildo. Given that her reason for not wanting to make the fantasy real was fairness to me, I'll also be working to make sure she understands that I don't want anyone else, and it is perfectly OK of the ground rules are that she can play and I can't. Given some of her trauma from past relationships (an "open" relationship that was one sided and abusive), it may take a while, but that's ok. What gets me off is her pleasure, there's no point in trying to make it happen before she's completely ready.

 

[Snoopsissy]

I too have been in a similar situation for some time now , we don’t use a dildo , well sometimes small vibe as one and larger vibe on her clit , she gets much aroused if I call her a slut etc , her pussy is soaking and her nipples stick straight up and her head goes back in ecstasy , I’ve been trying to gauge her interest in what turns her on to follow in those directions , varying from names of co workers to strangers gang banging her etc over several months , each time I think I’ve homed in on something she cools off so it’s a constant to and fro never really getting anywhere , she isn’t used to being vocal in the bedroom and wish she would tell me what she is thinking off when her eyes are closed and vibing away 🙁 I have asked her and she says something vague like wouldn’t you like to know or I can’t tell you that or one of these days etc sooo hard trying to coax her inner slut out - aren’t women wonderful 😀😀

 

[Snoopsissy]

I always on advice great received on here have constantly reassured my wife I’m only wanting her to have maximum pleasure and not interested in anything to do with another woman but like you she countered with that would be unfair of me not to let you get some pussy and that she would feel bad doing it , and I have mentioned , backed off - cool period then see if she mentioned it ( never did ) she looked up cuckold but only the sort of derisory detentions of the word without going deeper into what it meant and could mean for our life if we at least dabbled ,but it was never pursued or read about again - maybe a new pair of shoes or a bag would sway it - who knows eh - reassure etc away - doesn’t mean at all she will still
Do it 😀😀

 

[btweets]

My suggestion would be to expose her to the lifestyle, by showing her just how so many other couples are actually and truly happy about making the decision to make this a reality. Show her real amateur couples videos and have her read true stories, so she can actually see and hear that it’s perfectly normal and very common to at least give it a try.

 

[casado_caliente]

I am also working on my wife. Need ot find a local couple and we work on the wives

I am doing the same, i am working my wife but I am trying to find the ideal person in other city.

 

[Tcayohh]

Just go with the flow. It's what we did, Cay knew I was interested in the lifestyle before we officially started dating. It came up from time to time for a while and eventually we just felt it was right to try it out. Last week we made it a reality and I don't think it could have went any better. I'd say the keys are:

No pressure
No huge expectations
Make rules
Trust one another
HAVE FUN

 

[Snoopsissy]

My suggestion would be to expose her to the lifestyle, by showing her just how so many other couples are actually and truly happy about making the decision to make this a reality. Show her real amateur couples videos and have her read true stories, so she can actually see and hear that it’s perfectly normal and very common to at least give it a try.

Yes that would be good but my wife ( well she says ) porn doesn’t turn her on or do anything for her so unfortunately that Avenue is out - but she has recently once or twice used her vibe on her own - told her it turns me on to hear that she is using it on her own , sort of getting her used to using it without me so she is left to her own dirty thoughts so to speak - maybe if it had a back story she would watch it with me or on her own - any recommendations ?

 

[btweets]

Yes that would be good but my wife ( well she says ) porn doesn’t turn her on or do anything for her so unfortunately that Avenue is out - but she has recently once or twice used her vibe on her own - told her it turns me on to hear that she is using it on her own , sort of getting her used to using it without me so she is left to her own dirty thoughts so to speak - maybe if it had a back story she would watch it with me or on her own - any recommendations ?

Then I would definitely focus on stories for you both to read together.

 

[Snoopsissy]

Then I would definitely focus on stories for you both to read together.

I don’t think she would read any stories either , just so hard to introduce her into things really

 

[Snoopsissy]

Well had a good vibe session last night and I have been more vocal talking dirty to her and mentioning things , making sure she heard me like I know she has phone numbers from her ex co workers ( at least one has fucked her before I met her ) and that she can phone or text if she wants any cock or that she tells me she is away seeing an old lady she helps but she is really on her back getting her hole used hard and she really responds to all that so she can’t say she was lost in the moment and never heard me lol . So sometimes I think real progress is being made slowly and subconsciously because she never says to cool it with the talk or the subject /s of the talk either which further heightens my interest , I tell her I know she wants to fuck etc , that her body tells and shows me she wants it too and I know she is thinking of getting fucked as she plays , usually this or any combo will put her into an orgasm , so I usually keep it up right through it so she knows what’s giving her the orgasm if that makes sense - work in progress lol here’s the vibes from last night - be same again tonight hopefully will be filming it

 

[Snoopsissy]

So that will be my new tactic as I think it has shown the best if not immediate results , to get her vibing as often as possible and when she is good and horny - usually easy to tell as she moans more , nipples stick straight up and her pussy slackens off and just runs with juice lol - then I’ll be more vocal telling her how awesome it looks ( and it really is 😀- best seat in the house ) how I know she’s thinking / wanting to be fucked , tell her I know she wants to be my fuck slut , throw a couple of names in there especially the ex co worker she has fucked previously and she has there numbers - sit back and see if the cogs engage , reassure her always there would be no guilt on her part etc etc

 

[Snoopsissy]

Had a short vibe session last night , usually wait till she is good and warmed up and sense the moment is right to talk dirty to her , we were getting into it her legs were opening up more and more , said how amazing it looked ( and it does ) and she moaned a bit , then I mentioned the ex co workers name and she moaned a lot and worked her hole harder - anyhoo it had just happened hour or so before the same guy ( her ex boss ) text her about a surprise birthday party for his daughter whom my wife also worked with and did she want to go ? - no mention of me , no kisses or anything else as I sneaked a look at the message , I will casually drop in later if she wants to go to it for a catch up I’ll drop her off and pick her up , maybe After a couple of drinks who knows what could happen ? I’ll also suggest she wears that nice blue spotty top I bought her for weekends away with a bit of showing off / flashing in mind , she knows it’s sheer so if she wears it for the party I’ll know she at least wants someone there to get a good look at her bra and tits - how amazing would it be if I got a message from her later on asking did I still want to be her cuckold 😛here is a pic of the outfit I’ll half suggest she wears to it ,don’t want to seem to be too keen eh

 

[Snoopsissy]

Also she hasn’t yet replied to his message , maybe she is hoping I’ll suggest she goes , that way she is the one not being too keen ? Was really hard last night not to jump in and mention anything about her invitation , especially as he has fucked her before I met her .trying not to read too much into stuff but she is well aware of my desire to share her only thing is he is ( or didn’t used to be from what my wife has said ) not the best at keeping secrets and that might hold her back . Maybe another ex co worker will be there as another one sent her a message with a gif of a bbc filling up a coffee cup with good and dark or something slogan he also phones or texts her now and then - usually ex work stuff well when im around anyways . He would probably be a better proposition as he is married , I’ll need to throw his name in the mix too and gauge the pussy reaction lol 😆