Feelings between the wife and the other guy

Natnextdoor

Female
Oct 1, 2017
16
137
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The other night my husband and I were laying in bed together looking thru messages and talking to guys online on the site we're using to find a guy. We fooled around while talking about the guys and it lead to incredibally intense sex. I felt a closeness to him I'd never experienced before and I think it's because we about to embark on this alternative sexual lifestyle that takes a rock solid relationship to invite another man to bed. As you all well know, it takes a level of honesty and communication unknown to most conventional relationships.

That being said, it got me thinking about the emotional side to the hotwife lifestyle. I'm now wondering if I'll ever develope feelings for the other guy. Is it common for that to happen? If so, how have you husbands and wives dealt with it? Is it best to ignore them and keep going or end things with the guy and find another? I'm not looking for a polyamorous marriage at all so I'd like to keep feelings out of it but I'm not sure how realistic that is.
 
My wife developed feelings for the guy that she has been having sex with. It was a surprise to me because they have only had sex a few times. It bothered me because she lied about it. I asked her and she denied it but then I found out the truth. The only thing bothered me was that she was not honest I could deal with the feelings.
 
my thoughts are that it would be quite natural for two people to develop feelings for each other, including love, and conversely, that it would be unnatural for that not to happen. Is the relationship secure enough to weather that and was it anticipated as a possibility in advance? That is a fundamental question foremost in my mind. If one can love one's wife or partner for the qualities which one values and respects, then it seems only logical that at the very least the same could be said of another, in addition to qualities which each of us may respect and find important in a relationship, which are unique to us. In that sense, if, say one's wife had qualities in herself which were important and they were recognized by another man because they resonated in him, then there is part of a foundation for a special relatuobship. It is not that the husband is neglectful, for he may see other attributes. So, in my view, it would be healthy for her self-esteem, self-confidence and empowerment to have both relationships, as long as there is open communication and introspection on all sides. Love is endless and bountiful and is to be shared. Ideally, though, there is more of a complete match between the wife and husband that lends stability to that relationship and allows it to endure and grow in relative exclusivity.
 
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Some women need the emotional connection with their FB.

I had warned my present GF that feelings would develop and to tell. her husband ahead of time.
She was still suprised that she fell in love. Hubby understands and is ok with it.
 
It's a fine line, I LOVE my hubby but I LOVE having sex with my two lovers. When a man outside of your marriage fucks you and cums deep in your pussy your taking a new role in your marriage. Having hubby clean up even adds to that.
Bottom line for us it WORKS !
 
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Interesting. I know I'm putting the cart way before the horse (I haven't been with another guy yet) but I it's a potential problem I want to be aware of. I've wondered how I'll handle the emotional side. I want to crush on whichever guy/guys I'm with but don't want anything beyond that. I've wondered if strong feelings develop would I keep them to myself and deal with it or potentially hurt hubby's feelings and we move on to another guy or stop all together?
 
I prefer a long term relarionship, where its not just sex.
For me, the more feelings are involved, the better the foreplay, sex, and after cuddling is a whole lot better. Usually, your both tested and she's on birth control, the its bareback.

Not that I wouldn't pass up a "hit it and quit it" one time :)
 
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Between me and wife its a mutual understanding that sex with another guy is just sex and nothing else. I have full access to her phone and so does she on mine.. we been into this life style 3yrs ago and still going strong with over 80 guys she had met and some of them have been seeing her more than 3 times but it only lust and sex
 
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My husband and I both want one or two guys we both like that we can call to have fun with. We'd ideally like to keep the same guy or guys for awhile so we're all comfortable with each other. I don't see myself picking up random guys all the time. I also don't see why we wouldn't keep seeing a guy we like that is good in bed. The down side is of course emotional attachment. Maybe I'm worrying unessesarily. My hope is that it's strictly physical and we remain friends with benefits for a long time.
 
My wife has had romantic 'love affairs' of varying duration with a few different men during our marriage. I think it is 'cute' when my wife gets a crush on a boyfriend. My wife prefers sex with married men which minimizes complications.

Kate has been having sex with her married boss for over ten years. Thier relationship is much deeper than just fuck-buddies but both are happily married. I think that they are 'in love' with each other on some level.
 
I know from our short experience in the hotwife lifestyle that its very important that when your wife has found a guy or guys that she spends more than one time with that the more they are together the more the relationship grows and the intimacy and sexuality also grows. I have seen this develop with my wife and one of her lovers. I absolutely love it myself and her love for me has not changed at all and she has told me that she will be with me for the rest of our lives. I prefer her to develop feelings so the times they are together the sex gets better and better. The more they learn while exploring their sexuality with one another creates an atmosphere of comfort and open mindedness which I believe is critical for great sex. Her favorite lover not only developed a sexual desire out of her physically but even more so mentally. They were in communication with each other for months before they got together which also creates comfort and desire. Once they were together a few times he began to unlock her sexual pandoras box!! He can get her to do things I struggle to get her to do and can last a lot longer than I can. I desire that for her as much as she enjoys it. Unfortunately she can not see him much at all but we have a few other guys she will be with this month that she can frequent with more. I know what to expect because they have been communicating with her and it will be the first time. I expect no orgasms no matter how well they perform because of the level of comfort will not be there yet. However, all other communications will allow some great sex and will create comfort with them at an accelerated rate. Her Love or desire with others is a great thing and will develop our lifestyle more and create even more love between us. This is also something that I desired, not my wife. She has always been perfectly happy with me and our sex life is great!! Our entire relationship is great and she does this for me but really does enjoy the benefits and how this lifestyle has freed us to live outside the box and develop a true relationship where communication is better than it has been in our entire lives.
 
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Go
Between me and wife its a mutual understanding that sex with another guy is just sex and nothing else. I have full access to her phone and so does she on mine.. we been into this life style 3yrs ago and still going strong with over 80 guys she had met and some of them have been seeing her more than 3 times but it only lust and sex
this is about trust and pleasuring both. So yea she will have a great feeling during the fucking but once home she belongs to hubby
 
Y
The other night my husband and I were laying in bed together looking thru messages and talking to guys online on the site we're using to find a guy. We fooled around while talking about the guys and it lead to incredibally intense sex. I felt a closeness to him I'd never experienced before and I think it's because we about to embark on this alternative sexual lifestyle that takes a rock solid relationship to invite another man to bed. As you all well know, it takes a level of honesty and communication unknown to most conventional relationships.

That being said, it got me thinking about the emotional side to the hotwife lifestyle. I'm now wondering if I'll ever develope feelings for the other guy. Is it common for that to happen? If so, how have you husbands and wives dealt with it? Is it best to ignore them and keep going or end things with the guy and find another? I'm not looking for a polyamorous marriage at all so I'd like to keep feelings out of it but I'm not sure how realistic that is.
Your concern and questions are real and it happens. Feelings develop. The most important part is to be honest and open. Any man that fucks another's wife must respect the link between them yet have the ability to seduce the women into opening up so she will experience pleasure. If not it won't last.