Friends with benefits...

Curious_one

Couple
Oct 14, 2018
29
64
93
Dfw texas
I'm not sure what would possess someone to stoop so low as to lie about having a similar mindset and then afterwards, not respond to calls, texts, emails...etc. A few of our threesome partners swore that they had been searching for a friends with benefits type relationship with a couple (it was even on their profile) and they were masterful liars and manipulators...in the end. We met a few times, had great conversations...laughed...etc...and thought we actually met a decent person. We talked on the phone and really seemed to connect with them. Then...afterwards, they vanished into thin air and were non responsive to any attempts to contact them. They said they had a wonderful experience and that they were so glad we met....etc. But...then, "poof" - gone. This really starts to make you question humanity. They lie, bold faced "lie" to someone's face. They have sex with your wife...pretty much use her and vanish. That is criminal, in my eyes. You got together under false pretenses and "knew" you were going to bail ahead of time. This makes me sick to think about. Who else agrees that this type of behavior is the highest level of bullshit? It pretty much destroyed my wife's self esteem for awhile and put tremendous emotional pressure on her. It would be completely different if we had agreed to have a one night fling. But....these guys swore and promised that they were different. We vetted them out diligently and spend time getting to know them. They still "fucked us over"...no pun intended. What do you think about this?
 
If you had invited an old male buddy, say one who is recently divorced, in between your wife's legs, things would have worked out far better. The problem is that those who answer ads are like gambling addicts: always in search of a big win. The big win, where he enjoys great, great, great sex is the only experience that will satisfy him. He may have had a great time with you and your wife, but he knows that a repeat encounter will only be great, not great, great, great sex.
 
It’s really sad, but it can be very difficult finding someone who is honest and truthful these days. I would suggest taking longer in getting to know them better. You want to find someone that is perfectly fine with just hanging out without things going any further for a period of time. Basically, see how committed they are to you guys at just being friends first.
 
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I'm not sure what would possess someone to stoop so low as to lie about having a similar mindset and then afterwards, not respond to calls, texts, emails...etc. A few of our threesome partners swore that they had been searching for a friends with benefits type relationship with a couple (it was even on their profile) and they were masterful liars and manipulators...in the end. We met a few times, had great conversations...laughed...etc...and thought we actually met a decent person. We talked on the phone and really seemed to connect with them. Then...afterwards, they vanished into thin air and were non responsive to any attempts to contact them. They said they had a wonderful experience and that they were so glad we met....etc. But...then, "poof" - gone. This really starts to make you question humanity. They lie, bold faced "lie" to someone's face. They have sex with your wife...pretty much use her and vanish. That is criminal, in my eyes. You got together under false pretenses and "knew" you were going to bail ahead of time. This makes me sick to think about. Who else agrees that this type of behavior is the highest level of bullshit? It pretty much destroyed my wife's self esteem for awhile and put tremendous emotional pressure on her. It would be completely different if we had agreed to have a one night fling. But....these guys swore and promised that they were different. We vetted them out diligently and spend time getting to know them. They still "fucked us over"...no pun intended. What do you think about this?
Makes it harder for the rest of us that are serious.
 
I'm not sure what would possess someone to stoop so low as to lie about having a similar mindset and then afterwards, not respond to calls, texts, emails...etc. A few of our threesome partners swore that they had been searching for a friends with benefits type relationship with a couple (it was even on their profile) and they were masterful liars and manipulators...in the end. We met a few times, had great conversations...laughed...etc...and thought we actually met a decent person. We talked on the phone and really seemed to connect with them. Then...afterwards, they vanished into thin air and were non responsive to any attempts to contact them. They said they had a wonderful experience and that they were so glad we met....etc. But...then, "poof" - gone. This really starts to make you question humanity. They lie, bold faced "lie" to someone's face. They have sex with your wife...pretty much use her and vanish. That is criminal, in my eyes. You got together under false pretenses and "knew" you were going to bail ahead of time. This makes me sick to think about. Who else agrees that this type of behavior is the highest level of bullshit? It pretty much destroyed my wife's self esteem for awhile and put tremendous emotional pressure on her. It would be completely different if we had agreed to have a one night fling. But....these guys swore and promised that they were different. We vetted them out diligently and spend time getting to know them. They still "fucked us over"...no pun intended. What do you think about this?
Welcome to "the lifestyle". It takes all kinds and you never know who you're going to meet or how it's going to turn out. Your wife should NEVER let "some guy" cause her to wreck her self esteem at all. It just happens this way some times. Guys want to get laid and they'll say anything to make it happen, then disappear back to their wife or on to something new. Your wife got laid, good for her, hopefully she enjoyed it. In the end, that's what the lifestyle is really all about. If you want friends then you might try just meeting potential sex partners and holding off on sex until a bond develops. Other than that I have no ideas on how to eliminate guys who want to get laid once and then disappear. It's really critical that your wife NOT take any of this personally or a any sort of judgement on her. Good for her that she's out seeking and actually playing with other guys, which is way more than many of the wives we read about on this site.

Just move on to your next adventure and enjoy the ride. You've come a long way and you should both be very happy to have gotten this far.

Mrs Hotwife
 
Think if it this way. Have guys ever slept with a woman and then ghosted her? Not called? Not answered?

If a single woman told a story about sleeping with a guy who then cut off all contact we would all just think "well he's a jerk who got what he wanted and bailed" and not think it was all that odd.

Sorry it happened to you but it is one of the risks you take.
 
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It can be tricky finding someone to have sex with your wife. I tried to meet up with the man in person and discuss what we were looking for. I usually had some photographs, bot nude and non nude, to show him if he seemed interested. I asked him to call me when he wanted to set up a specific time. If he never called back I never told my wife I had even talked to anyone. That allowed her to not feel bad or worry about her looks.. Most of the time they showed up if they called and set a date and time, but not always. You just have to figure out a method of secduction that works for the two of you. Most guys on the internet are fake or just talkers in my opinion
 
Unfortunately, It can be a process. But anytime I have set up a meet with just the husband, it’s him that doesn’t show. I have had better luck when setting up the first meeting through the wife. Even if she’s not there. Though preferably I like to meet both at the same time.
 
Perhaps you can find someone that is truly in the lifestyle, can provide you with contact info or show video or pictorial proof that they've done this before and know how the game is played. I don't know a lot of the realities of this lifestyle or if anyone would be willing to do this so take that advice with a grain of your favorite sodium.
 
Welcome to "the lifestyle". It takes all kinds and you never know who you're going to meet or how it's going to turn out. Your wife should NEVER let "some guy" cause her to wreck her self esteem at all. It just happens this way some times. Guys want to get laid and they'll say anything to make it happen, then disappear back to their wife or on to something new. Your wife got laid, good for her, hopefully she enjoyed it. In the end, that's what the lifestyle is really all about. If you want friends then you might try just meeting potential sex partners and holding off on sex until a bond develops. Other than that I have no ideas on how to eliminate guys who want to get laid once and then disappear. It's really critical that your wife NOT take any of this personally or a any sort of judgement on her. Good for her that she's out seeking and actually playing with other guys, which is way more than many of the wives we read about on this site.

Just move on to your next adventure and enjoy the ride. You've come a long way and you should both be very happy to have gotten this far.

Mrs Hotwife
Thanks for the reply. Inwish she had enjoyed the experiences we had, but each guy seemed literally clueless on how to satisfy a woman. In same cases, it seemed that they didn't know much at all. So.. not only was the sex bad, the whole experience was tainted by the fact that he vanished. Each guy was like this. She has never had a good experience in this lifestyle yet. In fact, she was at the point to where she never wanted to try it again. Now, she's thinking about it...but very skeptical.
 
Thanks for the reply. Inwish she had enjoyed the experiences we had, but each guy seemed literally clueless on how to satisfy a woman. In same cases, it seemed that they didn't know much at all. So.. not only was the sex bad, the whole experience was tainted by the fact that he vanished. Each guy was like this. She has never had a good experience in this lifestyle yet. In fact, she was at the point to where she never wanted to try it again. Now, she's thinking about it...but very skeptical.
Excellent post and reply.
Shame it wasn’t great but keep trying. The right combination will eventually happen. Until then enjoy yourselves in each encounter.
 
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It is bull shit for sure. We have had the very same problem. We chat online, meet and everything seems good. We talk about something regular and dependable and everyone is on the same page...all seems to be working out. A date night is set and we all seem to have a good time although sometimes the sex is just "ok" but will get better after a few sessions. Twice lately the date night was the only session and we never hear from them again or they "reconnect with an old friend" never to be heard from again...ghosted and 1 even left the site we met on. Not sure what the hell is wrong with single guys, they seem to now want to get laid. I mean how easy can it be.....show up, have some conversation, maybe a drink with us then off to bed for a time or 2. When your done make plans for the next time and go about your life......one would think this would be something every guy would want but doesn't seem to be the case.
 
It is bull shit for sure. We have had the very same problem. We chat online, meet and everything seems good. We talk about something regular and dependable and everyone is on the same page...all seems to be working out. A date night is set and we all seem to have a good time although sometimes the sex is just "ok" but will get better after a few sessions. Twice lately the date night was the only session and we never hear from them again or they "reconnect with an old friend" never to be heard from again...ghosted and 1 even left the site we met on. Not sure what the hell is wrong with single guys, they seem to now want to get laid. I mean how easy can it be.....show up, have some conversation, maybe a drink with us then off to bed for a time or 2. When your done make plans for the next time and go about your life......one would think this would be something every guy would want but doesn't seem to be the case.
It’s one I would like to find. Relax, enjoy, don’t get stupid, know you and the couple are there for all the same reasons. To get laid. I don’t understand guys that would walk away from that.
I especially like fucking another man’s wife. Ongoing/ long term should be the goal
 
Thanks for the reply. Inwish she had enjoyed the experiences we had, but each guy seemed literally clueless on how to satisfy a woman. In same cases, it seemed that they didn't know much at all. So.. not only was the sex bad, the whole experience was tainted by the fact that he vanished. Each guy was like this. She has never had a good experience in this lifestyle yet. In fact, she was at the point to where she never wanted to try it again. Now, she's thinking about it...but very skeptical.
This really bothers and saddens me because I’m an experienced guy that has played several times with couples, and have always been asked to come back again, and multiple times. But it’s often so difficult to just get that first opportunity to prove and show everything I have to offer, and guys like you’ve unfortunately experienced, only contributes to ruining chances for me and other legit guys like me. So please don’t give up, and you might only need to change your method of whom you choose. Good luck!!
 
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