GF struggling to take first step

[LSCouple]

Just need some help/advice on how to progress with the current situation.

Myself (30M) and my partner (27F) have discussed threesomes/cuckold/hotwife stuff for years. We both get turned on at the idea of another guy joining us whether I just watch or I join in. My partner very clearly wants this to happen as we have discussed logistics etc quite a few times before, however she always struggles to take the next step (inviting someone).

She mentions that she would feel more comfortable if it was someone we knew, which I can kind of understand, but unfortunately there isn't really anyone available to us. I also wouldn't want to ruin some friendships if it went sour for whatever reason.

I was thinking of the possibility of getting someone to start a conversation with her on social media? Maybe ease her into it by flirting first and getting to know each other that way? The idea being that she would not know its been 'set up' so it can kind of happen more naturally?

We've never dealt with dating apps or sites and I think any 'swinging' site just seems to put her off as she doesn't really know the person on the other side.

Any advice welcome!

 

[BIGred15]

My ex and I had litterally the identical story. I made a tinder account on my phone. With her photo. Lots of interest she got. So much it turned her on. So then she made her own account and she built up confidence chatting on tinder.
Then again behind her back I made a account on double list. And again lots of interest. I told her made her super horny and confident. And that's how we met men was through there.
It sounds as if she's ready. You just have to push it on her now.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Get her to dress up & take her out for drinks & dinner. Mention yr convos about other guys. Make subtle comments about guys u see there.

Get her use to & comfortable with the whole subject. Make it casual, fun & sexy.
A few drinks wid help...

 

[Johnfun]

Just need some help/advice on how to progress with the current situation.

Myself (30M) and my partner (27F) have discussed threesomes/cuckold/hotwife stuff for years. We both get turned on at the idea of another guy joining us whether I just watch or I join in. My partner very clearly wants this to happen as we have discussed logistics etc quite a few times before, however she always struggles to take the next step (inviting someone).

She mentions that she would feel more comfortable if it was someone we knew, which I can kind of understand, but unfortunately there isn't really anyone available to us. I also wouldn't want to ruin some friendships if it went sour for whatever reason.

I was thinking of the possibility of getting someone to start a conversation with her on social media? Maybe ease her into it by flirting first and getting to know each other that way? The idea being that she would not know its been 'set up' so it can kind of happen more naturally?

We've never dealt with dating apps or sites and I think any 'swinging' site just seems to put her off as she doesn't really know the person on the other side.

Any advice welcome!

Hi love chat u guys

 

[LSCouple]

Get her to dress up & take her out for drinks & dinner. Mention yr convos about other guys. Make subtle comments about guys u see there.

Get her use to & comfortable with the whole subject. Make it casual, fun & sexy.
A few drinks wid help...

Thank you for the advice. It's a pretty good idea, especially because she tends to loose up a bit after drinks. I think she tends to overthink a lot otherwise.

 

[Johnfun]

Cool I’d love chat with u guys in conversation

 

[D Wyatt]

You need to play it slow and have a ton of patience. She needs to feel good about her body and the guy before she will take the leap of faith. You both should know the guy well, may be meet as a couple for coffee, then for drinks and then let her meet him alone before you leave your wife in bed with him.

As some of the folks mentioned, get her into a sexy dress and take her to a bar or club. If she is comfortable, ask her to sit alone in the bar while take a different seat yourself and if any one approaches her. If anyone does, let her talk to her alone and say where it leads to

Another option is let her chat anonymously. Being anonymous will open her up to the idea and get comfortable

 

[LSCouple]

You need to play it slow and have a ton of patience. She needs to feel good about her body and the guy before she will take the leap of faith. You both should know the guy well, may be meet as a couple for coffee, then for drinks and then let her meet him alone before you leave your wife in bed with him.

As some of the folks mentioned, get her into a sexy dress and take her to a bar or club. If she is comfortable, ask her to sit alone in the bar while take a different seat yourself and if any one approaches her. If anyone does, let her talk to her alone and say where it leads to

Another option is let her chat anonymously. Being anonymous will open her up to the idea and get comfortable

Really appreciate the advice! Definitely giving me better ideas of how to approach the situation, thank you

 

[Rough Diamond]

Just need some help/advice on how to progress with the current situation.

Myself (30M) and my partner (27F) have discussed threesomes/cuckold/hotwife stuff for years. We both get turned on at the idea of another guy joining us whether I just watch or I join in. My partner very clearly wants this to happen as we have discussed logistics etc quite a few times before, however she always struggles to take the next step (inviting someone).

She mentions that she would feel more comfortable if it was someone we knew, which I can kind of understand, but unfortunately there isn't really anyone available to us. I also wouldn't want to ruin some friendships if it went sour for whatever reason.

I was thinking of the possibility of getting someone to start a conversation with her on social media? Maybe ease her into it by flirting first and getting to know each other that way? The idea being that she would not know its been 'set up' so it can kind of happen more naturally?

We've never dealt with dating apps or sites and I think any 'swinging' site just seems to put her off as she doesn't really know the person on the other side.

Any advice welcome!

testing waters and newbie to the scene - would be great to connect

 

[Sgt Ray]

You shouldn't do a "set up" without her knowing.
If not, either she'll find out and be pissed at you or the guy will try to take advantage of the situ.

Or, she cud just fall for him.

Set-ups are a fuckin nightmare...

 

[Whoopwhoopboom]

Lots of good guidance on this thread.

The 'dressing sexy' in a bar or similar place is very good, it's how we started. Make playful comments about other guys checking her out etc. It's good fun. Maybe then, once she's comfortable with that scenario introduce some 'dares' ...can be as innocent, playful or as naughty as the mood takes.


Don't do a set up , it has far too many ways to go wrong.

Wish you luck

 

[frenchot]

Communication Is Key let her know your not going anywhere and that what ever happens she will allways be your number one​

You need to know how to communicate, and not just in langue but you must make her your goddess .
you might think you know what type sex she is willing to try I know from my wife she is more open to try new things with strangers or new lovers so don't think you know everything and just because she is trying something that is out of her norm does not say your a bad lover

Eventually, you will start to notice the effects in your personal life. You will have sex more. You will have more
You will start to be more trusting. I do want to warn you, though. Swinging can be additive. Like a drug, you will eventually want more.

goggle ethical non monogamous relationships and look it up together

 

[Sgt Ray]

Very well said and absolutely worth listening to.

 

[hotwifeluvr]

Patience is key, even if it takes years. Better to take longer than you hoped, than to rush it, force it with the wrong person, etc.

Keep enjoying the fantasy play and talking about it, and don't push. Pushing won't help and can make her feel like it can go out of control.

If she's willing and comfortable to talk about it, let her tell you how she envisions it, who she thinks it would be hot to do it with. Don't argue with her selections, it's just talk. Be supportive. Let it be "if it happened" and don't start pushing for "when, where, how" stuff. Let her come to it at her own pace.

Key is the right person, right situation, and everything coming together without being forced.

With my ex, we used to talk about it during sex. She preferred that I'd create the scenarios and she would (usually) agree. Sometimes she'd shake her head and and change directions. One of the things I'd do is when we were both hot and on a scenario together, I'd ask her "Would you really do it?" or sometimes "Will you really do it?" Sometimes after she'd say yes to that, I'd follow up with a "Really?" or "You promise?" Her acknowledgement that yes, she was really prepared to do it and that she would when the right situation came up would get us both so hot we'd cum hard.

Still, it was a couple of years before one night, things just kind of came together and I got to watch her slowly get naked, have her tits played with, then her pussy, and then drop to her knees to suck, before finally flopping over onto her back and spreading her legs wide to let me watch another man's cock sink into her. Worth the wait. That was almost 40 years ago, and the memory is a vivid today as ever, and the mere memory makes my cock rock hard and in need of a tug!

 

[Dfwstag]

Have you considered going to a lifestyle nightclub or taking a vacation to Hedonism II in Jamaica or Temptations in Cancun.

That could present many opportunities to take that next step, on vacation women feel more adventurous