Girlfriend struggles desiring me after being with him

[Yesplease]

I've been recently cucked, we met him twice, the sex they had was amazing, she loves someone being in control and feeling submissive to a confident, dominant man, he's the polar opposite of me, I'm extremely submssive, a good boy as she calls me, and she loves how he just takes what he wants, which makes her have sex with him several times a day, she says it's so easy to want to have sex with him multiple times since he simply takes her whenever he wants.

The problem happens after we get back home, her brain is still used to having him taking care of everything for her, of dominating her, and since she's fully sexually satisfied, she just can't get turned on by me for days, she told me the transition from him (a total alpha male) to me (a total submissive) is too much for her and her brain is still engaged to that dynamic and can't find any desire for me. She can't switch from being submissive towards him to "dominating" me since I'm so submissive after they're together.

Does anyone experience this? And how do you deal with it?

 

[Jeanswatcher]

Excellent sex is very emotional to a women as i know only too well, you need to consider this and that relationships are formed from this attachment with an excellent lover, especially as she is submissive to him.

I suspect that your active sex life with her maybe coming to an end and you may soon find yourself as i did becoming not just a cuck husband but a feminized one too, it depends on the strength of your relationship and ultimately if she wants to remain with you but also with him as the dominant male in her life.

He may also push for this as removing you as a sexual competitor.

What she is really saying is, he can satisfy me where as you cannot, and if your receptive to a CB and forms of feminization thats fine. This appears to be rather common and the general route i have found wives end up taking, as mine has. It serves several purposes putting you in your place, ie a nice boy but no longer her lover of choice and also serves to prevent you playing away if she still wants you.

The difference between us i suspect is my years in this LS, my wife has never considered me as a "good boy" always viewing me as what i am, a dominant alpha male in vanilla life but a submissive sexually she chose the above for me for the reasons above.

 

[Yesplease]

Excellent sex is very emotional to a women as i know only too well, you need to consider this and that relationships are formed from this attachment with an excellent lover, especially as she is submissive to him.

I suspect that your active sex life with her maybe coming to an end and you may soon find yourself as i did becoming not just a cuck husband but a feminized one too, it depends on the strength of your relationship and ultimately if she wants to remain with you but also with him as the dominant male in her life.

He may also push for this as removing you as a sexual competitor.

What she is really saying is, he can satisfy me where as you cannot, and if your receptive to a CB and forms of feminization thats fine. This appears to be rather common and the general route i have found wives end up taking, as mine has. It serves several purposes putting you in your place, ie a nice boy but no longer her lover of choice and also serves to prevent you playing away if she still wants you.

The difference between us i suspect is my years in this LS, my wife has never considered me as a "good boy" always viewing me as what i am, a dominant alpha male in vanilla life but a submissive sexually she chose the above for me for the reasons above.

Thanks for your reply.

She's very submissive to him, she says his dominant energy is the polar opposite of mine, and makes her want to have sex with him everytime he wants, which is not the case with me, I don't initiate at all so she can't feel horny for me, and she only realized it after she had sex with him for the first time, she wasn't aware how much she loved being handled by a dominant man and not thinking of anything.

You may be right in terms of feminization, they both see me as feminine and I'm most of the times ok with it, except when I feel a bit more dominant.

The problem is that she doesn't know what to do after we arrive home and we get together, without him, since we're both feeling submissive, it sounds like we're missing his dominant presence telling us what to do. And since she wants him, and I feel so submissive, I can't reclaim her, she won't even get turned on by me.

Should I stop wanting to have sex with her after she's with him? We tried it and it just didn't work, she even feels bad for me.

 

[Jeanswatcher]

I think you need to be put in chastity and accept this and encourage her to feminizie you, that can be kinky for you too.

You may never want to stop having sex with her, like i dont still have these desires towards my wife but you have to learn to accept she probably doesnt want to have sex with you now and accept your female side.

 

[Yesplease]

I don't think I feel much desire to be more female, I enjoy just being a good boy and submissive so I don't think that's the case, we still have some great sex but not as often, our problem is more related to the first week after she's with him, that transition from him to me affects her a lot.

 

[Distraction79]

Would reducing the time with the bull be an option, or cluster it more so you don't have that transition that often.
Or maybe you could take over the dominant part for the first days and then over time switch back. You could order her around a bit or make her masturbate while you watch ... or make it a fun game and record "dominant tasks", when she comes back to you you randomly choose tasks and take them up, so you could be both submissive at the same time ...

I'm not really interested and experienced in bdsm, so my suggestions might be completly bullshit and you think that i'm totally wrong, feel free to dismiss it if this wouldn't work for you.

 

[Yesplease]

Would reducing the time with the bull be an option, or cluster it more so you don't have that transition that often.
Or maybe you could take over the dominant part for the first days and then over time switch back. You could order her around a bit or make her masturbate while you watch ... or make it a fun game and record "dominant tasks", when she comes back to you you randomly choose tasks and take them up, so you could be both submissive at the same time ...

I'm not really interested and experienced in bdsm, so my suggestions might be completly bullshit and you think that i'm totally wrong, feel free to dismiss it if this wouldn't work for you.

Thanks, I really appreciate any tips!
It wouldn't work with us though since when we get together after being with him, I'm even more submissive and even if I try being dominant, it doesn't work, it doesn't have much effect in her since her mind is flooded with him, and she knows I'm at her bottom, her mind wants to feel that she's the one at the bottom and only he has that effect on her.

What seems to be working is that when she feels so submissive she just ignores me or caresses me, and when she feels like it she dominates me by telling me she's thinking of him and teasing me all the time with her thoughts, I would never imagine this cuckold experience going this incredibly far!

 

[Distraction79]

Sorry, maybe I missed the info.
Do you (both) feel comfortable, secure and appreciated in your roles and do you both fully support this way you are going?

 

[bellaazz]

I've been recently cucked, we met him twice, the sex they had was amazing, she loves someone being in control and feeling submissive to a confident, dominant man, he's the polar opposite of me, I'm extremely submssive, a good boy as she calls me, and she loves how he just takes what he wants, which makes her have sex with him several times a day, she says it's so easy to want to have sex with him multiple times since he simply takes her whenever he wants.

The problem happens after we get back home, her brain is still used to having him taking care of everything for her, of dominating her, and since she's fully sexually satisfied, she just can't get turned on by me for days, she told me the transition from him (a total alpha male) to me (a total submissive) is too much for her and her brain is still engaged to that dynamic and can't find any desire for me. She can't switch from being submissive towards him to "dominating" me since I'm so submissive after they're together.

Does anyone experience this? And how do you deal with it?

Very similar experience here with my ex-wife. She had always been very dominant with me sexually but when she had her first bull and he was in total control, she was super excited and let him do whatever he wanted to her. The one difference is that after being with him several times, my wife lost her desire to have intercourse with me, not just after they had been together but always. She sat me down and told me that she knows she is my wife and she will have sex with me if I wanted but she has no desire for it. So I asked her if I could still perform oral on her and masturbate after. She said she would enjoy that very much. But since your wife seems to only not desire you after she has been with her bull, why don't you give it a few days or a week after she has been with him to get back to "normal" ?

 

[Yesplease]

Very similar experience here with my ex-wife. She had always been very dominant with me sexually but when she had her first bull and he was in total control, she was super excited and let him do whatever he wanted to her. The one difference is that after being with him several times, my wife lost her desire to have intercourse with me, not just after they had been together but always. She sat me down and told me that she knows she is my wife and she will have sex with me if I wanted but she has no desire for it. So I asked her if I could still perform oral on her and masturbate after. She said she would enjoy that very much. But since your wife seems to only not desire you after she has been with her bull, why don't you give it a few days or a week after she has been with him to get back to "normal" ?

That's so similar to our experience!

You're right, it fades after some days, even though her mind is flooded with thoughts of him for 50% of the time, she seems to be learning to use the thoughts of him to make our sex better, which ends up being amazing.

But yes, my gf also looses desire for me after she's with him or when I'm being too submissive, she also told me that she's ok with me doing oral sex on her, even though she's not desiring me.

Hopefully her lack of desire for me won't keep growing as we meet him more and more, I admit that worries me a bit but wouldn't surprise me at the same time.

How do you feel about your wife not desiring you? I'm still learning how to deal with that emotion.

 

[spin418]

I think you need to be put in chastity and accept this and encourage her to feminizie you, that can be kinky for you too.

You may never want to stop having sex with her, like i dont still have these desires towards my wife but you have to learn to accept she probably doesnt want to have sex with you now and accept your female side.

I can get with the idea of chastity in this scenario, but the rest feels overmuch…contrived.

 

[Hwcouple702]

That's so similar to our experience!

You're right, it fades after some days, even though her mind is flooded with thoughts of him for 50% of the time, she seems to be learning to use the thoughts of him to make our sex better, which ends up being amazing.

But yes, my gf also looses desire for me after she's with him or when I'm being too submissive, she also told me that she's ok with me doing oral sex on her, even though she's not desiring me.

Hopefully her lack of desire for me won't keep growing as we meet him more and more, I admit that worries me a bit but wouldn't surprise me at the same time.

How do you feel about your wife not desiring you? I'm still learning how to deal with that emotion.

"gf"???

THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM! You have NOT been "cucked". You don't have a wife you have a "gf". This needs to end NOW! There is absolutely no reason for a gf to hang around in a relationship with a guy who doesn't please her sexually. You are going to lose this girl if this keeps up, in fact, it's likely too late to keep her already. She's had a taste of something better and fantastic in a physical relationship and any woman that would tell her boyfriend (not even a husband yet) that she's totally disinterested in him sexually, is terribly inconsiderate and needs something else in her life. I'm afraid your relationship is over. If you were married, the very least she should do is to say nothing about her physical attraction to you and attempt to make it better. Finding and continuing a relationship with a guy like this is the exact opposite of that.

 

[Yesplease]

"gf"???

THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM! You have NOT been "cucked". You don't have a wife you have a "gf". This needs to end NOW! There is absolutely no reason for a gf to hang around in a relationship with a guy who doesn't please her sexually. You are going to lose this girl if this keeps up, in fact, it's likely too late to keep her already. She's had a taste of something better and fantastic in a physical relationship and any woman that would tell her boyfriend (not even a husband yet) that she's totally disinterested in him sexually, is terribly inconsiderate and needs something else in her life. I'm afraid your relationship is over. If you were married, the very least she should do is to say nothing about her physical attraction to you and attempt to make it better. Finding and continuing a relationship with a guy like this is the exact opposite of that.

Replying with a response completely based on her being a girlfriend and not a wife tells a lot about you and your response.
Moving on.

 

[Hwcouple702]

Replying with a response completely based on her being a girlfriend and not a wife tells a lot about you and your response.
Moving on.

OK. Best of luck. But in spite of all you know about me from my response, it might serve you well to listen to those with experience in the lifestyle. Especially listening to those females who try to offer you advice.

 

[Distraction79]

I would seriously question that. The other guy is just somebody who fucks her in a dominant style. This has nothing to do with feelings and if this guy would be a better partner. I don't see here a "but he is dominant, he is better" => "she leaves you for him" path. This might be the outcome of all of this if it runs really bad but being dominant doesn't make you a good partner, it's just sexual preferences.

But, nontheless, needing so much time to be in sync again would be something that would raise a red flag for me.

 

[Hwcouple702]

I would seriously question that. The other guy is just somebody who fucks her in a dominant style. This has nothing to do with feelings and if this guy would be a better partner. I don't see here a "but he is dominant, he is better" => "she leaves you for him" path. This might be the outcome of all of this if it runs really bad but being dominant doesn't make you a good partner, it's just sexual preferences.

But, nontheless, needing so much time to be in sync again would be something that would raise a red flag for me.

It's not that she will move on to "him" exactly, but with what she says now, why would she stick around with a boyfriend who doesn't please her sexually at all. She says she has "no interest". At some point she's going to want to find a guy to settle down with.

 

[Yesplease]

I would seriously question that. The other guy is just somebody who fucks her in a dominant style. This has nothing to do with feelings and if this guy would be a better partner. I don't see here a "but he is dominant, he is better" => "she leaves you for him" path. This might be the outcome of all of this if it runs really bad but being dominant doesn't make you a good partner, it's just sexual preferences.

But, nontheless, needing so much time to be in sync again would be something that would raise a red flag for me.

Yes, after being with him she actually told me that now she's even more sure that she couldn't date someone like him and that I'm her perfect lover, even though sexually she's more aligned to his dominant energy than mine, she sees me as her anchor, and not him.

It's not like we can't sync in general, it's just sexually, her mind is too used to being taken and dominated and it takes a while for her to get used to someone who's not dominant, she doesn't know what to do and can't get turned on if she doesn't have a dominant trigger.

 

[Yesplease]

It's not that she will move on to "him" exactly, but with what she says now, why would she stick around with a boyfriend who doesn't please her sexually at all. She says she has "no interest". At some point she's going to want to find a guy to settle down with.

I understand what you mean, and in a way I agree but that's not our case, we've been together for a very long time and our relationship is as solid as anything could ever be, sex isn't everything in a relationship and the fact that she has the best of both worlds (even if with different partners) makes her very happy with our relationship.

She doesn't want him to be like me and doesn't want me to be like him.

 

[Hwcouple702]

Yes, after being with him she actually told me that now she's even more sure that she couldn't date someone like him and that I'm her perfect lover, even though sexually she's more aligned to his dominant energy than mine, she sees me as her anchor, and not him.

It's not like we can't sync in general, it's just sexually, her mind is too used to being taken and dominated and it takes a while for her to get used to someone who's not dominant.

See, that's information that would have made a big difference in my earlier assessment. Good for you guys. Hopefully you're on the right track and find a way to make things even better.

 

[Yesplease]

See, that's information that would have made a big difference in my earlier assessment. Good for you guys. Hopefully you're on the right track and find a way to make things even better.

Thanks, and sorry for harsh response earlier.

Yes, we're actually way more in sync after she started having sex with him, made her know exactly what she loves about me but also be aware what her sexual desires are, we're just both learning how to navigate the waters on the days after she's with him since it's such an overwhelming experience, at the end of the day he's a confident dominant man and I'm just her obedient good boy. Reason why I started this thread to ask if anyone else struggles with this.