How do I know?

[Tbird]

I just joined here so be kind if you can. I have been married for 4 years and for the last 3 of those I have been cheating on hubby with several different black men. We are both white. Up until recently it has been just casual sex with no complications but I have been seeing one particular guy for 3 months now and he wants to have a proper relationship with me. The difficulty is that I don't want to lose what I have with hubby. I grew up in a poor household in a poor neighborhood where one in three people were black and I had more black friends than white. There was the usual negativity about this from whites but I didn't care. I met hubby when i went to work in his business and he took a liking to me. If I am honest I would not have got involved with him except for his being wealthy and showering me with gifts and promotions. Oh he was likeable and after spending a lot of time with him I came to like him also and acepted his proposal of marriage. Unfortunately, sex with him has always been insipid at best. I have found this to be the case with all the white guys I have been with. Yes I know that's probably a stupid thing to say given that I have not been with a lot of white guys so the sample I am working on is small but I have never had anything other than amazingly satisfying sex with a black man.
So, I have some options now. I could get a divorce and go to my current boyfriend full time but I would be walking away with very little money and my boyfriend is basically poor.
Or, I could break off my relationship, as it is with my current boyfriend and find guys who dont want anything serious.
Or, I could stay married and cuckold hubby by bringing my boyfriend to live with us.
If I try the last of those options is there a way of doing it which wont result in hubby pulling the plug? He is generally a doormat type of person and I don't see him calling his lawyer if I can suggest it to him in a way that he would be receptive to but I really am at a loss how to do that. I also do not want to hurt him any more than necessary by being a mean bitch - even if that is what i am.
Apologies for my bad grammar but if anyone has any advice I would be grateful to hear it.
Ashlee

 

[btweets]

In my opinion, the right thing to do would be to involve your husband into your lifestyle. Make him a part of it and see if he has any fantasies that you could fulfill for him. It’s the very least you could do after all. Unless there’s been any sort of talk between you and your hubby about him wanting to share you or about him giving you the option to see, and most importantly, fuck other guys, then I wouldn’t bring up that you’ve already been doing it. As much as I’m a firm believer in being completely open and honest, it may not be in your best interest to inform him just yet, but if he agrees to what you want, you should confess your sins to him sometime down the road, and before he finds out about it on his own!

 

[Cuckcoupleforfun]

Either involve him or move on. Not a good situation you are putting him in.

 

[RandC]

Married37 yrs we started this 7 yrs ago..he now lets me date without him along, no problems..strictly recreational for me.

 

[Tbird]

Thank you all for the advice. I knew I picked the right forum for this. You are all clearly far more intelligent than I am.
I dont want to risk hubby throwing me out. I have a thing about being poor again. So I am thinking that I need to talk to my boyfriend and tell him to back off and if necessary I drop him and find someone who is only wanting no strings sex.
That ignores the advice from Cuckcoupleforfun and I am not sure I should do that. It seems like good advice. Am mulling it over.
Perhaps i will talk to him about interracial sex and white couplkes and see what his thoughts are.

​

 

[WNY3somecple]

So all black men are poor and the op is a woman incapable of supporting herself.

Her husband should dump her

 

[Tbird]

So all black men are poor and the op is a woman incapable of supporting herself.

Her husband should dump her

thank you for that unnecessary piece of codswallop . I did not say all black men are poor. That would be stupid. What I was suggesting was that there is little chance of my meeting another wealthy man, black, white or brindle. Women like me dont get many chances in the wealthy stakes. However, I agree that he should dump me

 

[WNY3somecple]

thank you for that unnecessary piece of codswallop . I did not say all black men are poor. That would be stupid. What I was suggesting was that there is little chance of my meeting another wealthy man, black, white or brindle. Women like me dont get many chances in the wealthy stakes. However, I agree that he should dump me

Why does he have to be wealthy. It's not like people are all either wealthy or poor.

You probably should get some professional help before inflicting yourself on any man.

I will put you on ignore know because you are worthless and undeserving of my time.

 

[Hwcouple702]

Thank you all for the advice. I knew I picked the right forum for this. You are all clearly far more intelligent than I am.
I dont want to risk hubby throwing me out. I have a thing about being poor again. So I am thinking that I need to talk to my boyfriend and tell him to back off and if necessary I drop him and find someone who is only wanting no strings sex.
That ignores the advice from Cuckcoupleforfun and I am not sure I should do that. It seems like good advice. Am mulling it over.
Perhaps i will talk to him about interracial sex and white couplkes and see what his thoughts are.

​

Well if you are serious about your marital relationship then you had better decide if you want to stay married or not. Giving up a secure marriage for some guy's cock is pure stupidity. There's no other way to put it and the more you try to enjoy your life with guys outside of your marriage, the less your marriage will be satisfying or fun and you WILL end up divorced and out on the street. Find a way to include your husband in your lifestyle. Read the many threads on the "How To Start" section. In NO CASE should you continue with this other guy. Dump him NOW. You are married. You just need some side cock, not another guy to ruin your marriage. Listen, you're new here so you probably don't know this but I actually advocate for wives cheating on their husbands under certain circumstances. Under the wrong circumstances though, it will cause incredible, unnecessary pain and strife and likely ruin your life. This guy took you in and at this point, listening to your thought pattern, he made a big mistake and should really dump you back where he found you. Then you can date whomever you please. You married a secure guy who can and does take care of you .....remember the lyrics "I guess every form of refuge has it's price." "Lying Eyes", The Eagles.

Mrs Hotwife

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

I would need a lot more details to give any good advice, but will share what I can based upon what you have said and my personal experience. It sounds like you are just with your husband for financial security. There isn't anything wrong with that. However, going behind his back to get your other needs met is harder for me to support. A healthy marriage requires both people to work together and a lot of compromise. I don't think it would be good to go tell your husband you have been cheating on him and now want to cuck him. Not all guys are into sharing their wife and the dishonesty to this point won't help. I am fairly certain my wife is with me for financial security. I am older than her and knew this from day one. I expect she has cheated on me in the past on numerous occasions. I have never caught her and never really looked to catch her. Several years ago, we talked about an open marriage and she was honest that she liked variety but didn't want to hurt me and she would be jealous if I played with others. I want her to be happy and we found an arrangement that works for both of us. She can fuck whoever she wants as long as I get my needs fulfilled as well. We are going on nearly 4 years with a slow start and all is well. It has been nearly a year since she last played due to COVID, but hopefully she gets going again soon. It is now my favorite to have sex with my wife after she plays with others. She is already fired up, cums quickly and often, and she is extra kinky. All good things.

My point is that you need to find out what is important to your husband and what he needs. If you can meet his needs while getting all of your needs met, everybody wins. If you put your needs in front of his, then trouble is brewing. I hope this helps. Best of luck to both of you!

 

[Grz3029]

Having bf live with you would be a GIANT step. Too big of a step for a just starting out cuck. If he’s into it though, that would be the ultimate cuck situation for him. I would personally love it myself, but I’m not him. Best feel it out with him first

 

[Sgt Ray]

thank you for that unnecessary piece of codswallop . I did not say all black men are poor. That would be stupid. What I was suggesting was that there is little chance of my meeting another wealthy man, black, white or brindle. Women like me dont get many chances in the wealthy stakes. However, I agree that he should dump me

Don't let it bother you. Some people look for reasons to be offended. Its what defines them.

 

[Nathaniel]

I think you should talk to him, and have him be involved, it really is one of those uncomfortable situations, but you can maybe try talking about it during sex, and see how he reacts. Its important that you guys are on the same page, that way no one gets hurt.

 

[Tbird]

I think there is a huge amount of good advice in all those replies and I am going to take it all on board. I understand that I should think about the harm I may be doing to hubby.
Lets leave it at that as I dont think further discussion is needed.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Good luck....

 

[Tbird]

so i told hubby everything and he said he suspected I was cheating but wasn't going to say anything. He told me he knew that he was not satisfying me in bed and that troubled him but he didn't want to lose me either. We worked out a plan with my current bf and hubby is going to rent out the apartment attached to our house to my bf and hubby is going to extend his business trips to one trip of 14 days a month so I can live with bf full time for those periods and still have sex with him when hubby is at work during the other times. There are some rules, like not going to restaurants or clubs that hubby and I go to regularly and being discreet in our local neighborhood but thats ok. Not sure if this will work but everyone seems happy with it. Bf understands that I wont be having any kids form him. Again I am not sure he will stay happy with that. Time will tell but you guys were right about coming clean. Thank you so much.

 

[btweets]

so i told hubby everything and he said he suspected I was cheating but wasn't going to say anything. He told me he knew that he was not satisfying me in bed and that troubled him but he didn't want to lose me either. We worked out a plan with my current bf and hubby is going to rent out the apartment attached to our house to my bf and hubby is going to extend his business trips to one trip of 14 days a month so I can live with bf full time for those periods and still have sex with him when hubby is at work during the other times. There are some rules, like not going to restaurants or clubs that hubby and I go to regularly and being discreet in our local neighborhood but thats ok. Not sure if this will work but everyone seems happy with it. Bf understands that I wont be having any kids form him. Again I am not sure he will stay happy with that. Time will tell but you guys were right about coming clean. Thank you so much.

Good for you! You did the right thing and I hope it works out well for all of you, good luck and always remember that being honest will almost always work out for the best.

 

[Fazeldex]

I just joined here so be kind if you can. I have been married for 4 years and for the last 3 of those I have been cheating on hubby with several different black men. We are both white. Up until recently it has been just casual sex with no complications but I have been seeing one particular guy for 3 months now and he wants to have a proper relationship with me. The difficulty is that I don't want to lose what I have with hubby. I grew up in a poor household in a poor neighborhood where one in three people were black and I had more black friends than white. There was the usual negativity about this from whites but I didn't care. I met hubby when i went to work in his business and he took a liking to me. If I am honest I would not have got involved with him except for his being wealthy and showering me with gifts and promotions. Oh he was likeable and after spending a lot of time with him I came to like him also and acepted his proposal of marriage. Unfortunately, sex with him has always been insipid at best. I have found this to be the case with all the white guys I have been with. Yes I know that's probably a stupid thing to say given that I have not been with a lot of white guys so the sample I am working on is small but I have never had anything other than amazingly satisfying sex with a black man.
So, I have some options now. I could get a divorce and go to my current boyfriend full time but I would be walking away with very little money and my boyfriend is basically poor.
Or, I could break off my relationship, as it is with my current boyfriend and find guys who dont want anything serious.
Or, I could stay married and cuckold hubby by bringing my boyfriend to live with us.
If I try the last of those options is there a way of doing it which wont result in hubby pulling the plug? He is generally a doormat type of person and I don't see him calling his lawyer if I can suggest it to him in a way that he would be receptive to but I really am at a loss how to do that. I also do not want to hurt him any more than necessary by being a mean bitch - even if that is what i am.
Apologies for my bad grammar but if anyone has any advice I would be grateful to hear it.
Ashlee

Be kind to him. And include him slowly, first by talking to him about such things while havong sex. Remark to him and let him know u can see and feel how hard he gets when u bring it up. I think if you just pace ir introduction slowly, natur selection will follow and u can have the life and hubby willingly involved

 

[sub2femdom]

I say ask your husband what he wants to do. If you are still willing to pleasure him sexually when not cuckolding him, then he might be more willing to go along with it.

 

[Hotwifenstag01]

I just joined here so be kind if you can. I have been married for 4 years and for the last 3 of those I have been cheating on hubby with several different black men. We are both white. Up until recently it has been just casual sex with no complications but I have been seeing one particular guy for 3 months now and he wants to have a proper relationship with me. The difficulty is that I don't want to lose what I have with hubby. I grew up in a poor household in a poor neighborhood where one in three people were black and I had more black friends than white. There was the usual negativity about this from whites but I didn't care. I met hubby when i went to work in his business and he took a liking to me. If I am honest I would not have got involved with him except for his being wealthy and showering me with gifts and promotions. Oh he was likeable and after spending a lot of time with him I came to like him also and acepted his proposal of marriage. Unfortunately, sex with him has always been insipid at best. I have found this to be the case with all the white guys I have been with. Yes I know that's probably a stupid thing to say given that I have not been with a lot of white guys so the sample I am working on is small but I have never had anything other than amazingly satisfying sex with a black man.
So, I have some options now. I could get a divorce and go to my current boyfriend full time but I would be walking away with very little money and my boyfriend is basically poor.
Or, I could break off my relationship, as it is with my current boyfriend and find guys who dont want anything serious.
Or, I could stay married and cuckold hubby by bringing my boyfriend to live with us.
If I try the last of those options is there a way of doing it which wont result in hubby pulling the plug? He is generally a doormat type of person and I don't see him calling his lawyer if I can suggest it to him in a way that he would be receptive to but I really am at a loss how to do that. I also do not want to hurt him any more than necessary by being a mean bitch - even if that is what i am.
Apologies for my bad grammar but if anyone has any advice I would be grateful to hear it.
Ashlee

Good for you! You did the right thing and I hope it works out well for all of you, good luck and always remember that being honest will almost always work out for the best.

Great results so far, keep us informed. Sounds like you get your cake and eat it!