I think my fantasy has become a real desire

Feb 1, 2021
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Hi there,

Just heard about this website so am seeking advice from those who are experienced.

My wife and I (both white and in our 20s) have been into the BBC/interracial cuckold fantasy for a couple of years. It takes on different forms from cheating to wife sharing.

We have often chatted on kik with me pretending to be a black guy that she is cheating with, she sends photos and we both get off pretty hard to it. Afterwards we usually have sex where she tells me all about the cheating she's done in the fantasy and sometimes compares me to the guy. After that I'll reclaim her and my masculinity and become more of a dom.

I've noticed for the past year that when we're having sex I am fantasizing about her having sex with a black man. I imagine how much more pleasure she would receive from a huge cock. Even when she's giving me head I'm just imagining her servicing a superior black cock.

We were having sex this week and I confessed that my fantasy has gone beyond and I think I would actually like to see her have sex with another man, this year ideally. She wasnt too pleased and we had a small falling out. She said she wasn't really into that.

Its worth mentioning that just over a week before she had requested to not discuss sexual fantasies for a while because she was feeling a bit burned out. I definitely shouldn't have brought it up this time.

The thing is I'm not sure she's 100% being honest or maybe I just brought it up at the wrong time.

Firstly, we once set up an account on here where she could flirt with guys. She ended up chatting to a back guy with a huge cock and asked my permission to swap photos. She sent photos of her whole body and pussy shots. This is so unlike her because she is so completely loyal, but in this occasion she actually begged me to let her send photos!

The second thing is that, whilst this is really minor, the morning after we had that falling out she was doing her workout and listening to grime and rap. She tells me all the time how much she hates that type of music. Was this a message to me or am I reading too much into it?

Also during the conversation she said she wasn't feeling as into the kinky stuff right now because lockdown and separation from friends and family is upsetting her.

So what do you reckon?
 
I have never crossed the finish line either with my wife. But if she is sending pics of herself naked to men, even if she claimed it was just for you, has to be also for her. It had to of turned her on. I think you did what I did, which you just overkilled the topic, and made her feel like your sexual fantasy was what you loved about her and not her. From talking with some other folks, they say that wife has to feel secure that this about her and not about some perversion that you would want to do with just any old person. This person told me to try and make my wife feel like she is the only woman in the world that I would feel comfortable doing this with, and that she is my best friend and that is why I can open up to her. This person told me to not talk about the fantasy at all for like 90 days, and even if my wife brought it up, that I should say, "no lets just have the fantasy about us tonight". This person told me to make her feel secure in the marriage first which is bigger commitment.
 
I have never crossed the finish line either with my wife. But if she is sending pics of herself naked to men, even if she claimed it was just for you, has to be also for her. It had to of turned her on. I think you did what I did, which you just overkilled the topic, and made her feel like your sexual fantasy was what you loved about her and not her. From talking with some other folks, they say that wife has to feel secure that this about her and not about some perversion that you would want to do with just any old person. This person told me to try and make my wife feel like she is the only woman in the world that I would feel comfortable doing this with, and that she is my best friend and that is why I can open up to her. This person told me to not talk about the fantasy at all for like 90 days, and even if my wife brought it up, that I should say, "no lets just have the fantasy about us tonight". This person told me to make her feel secure in the marriage first which is bigger commitment.
Hey thank you for this. This is really excellent advice.

I mean that's what I thought too, she sent those pics, she was really enjoying that evening. She showed me the messages later and it was pretty explicit stuff! She was definitely enjoying when I wasn't looking.

At the same time you are totally right on the overkill. I need to conquer my desires for a jet and ensure she is feeling happy and ok.

I will do a ban for a few weeks on talking about the fantasy and work on her comfort and confidence for now.

Thanks!