Jealous wife turned into a hotwife?

[alonsonyc]

Hi all,
I have been reading the forum for a bit and decided to write and bounce off a question that has been running through my head and not sure how much of it is my imagination and fantasy and how realistically should I be about it.

Just to give you a background..
We're happily married couple in mid 40s with couple of grade school kids, nanny etc, both educated, making six figures (myself twice what she makes) and with busy careers in same industry in one of the biggest cities in the US. I am reasonably handsome, 6'2 and 220 lbs with more muscle than fat (obviously not the abs from 10y ago but still pretty good) and she a petite brunette, 5'5 and 115 lbs who didn't change much after kids in terms of her appearance or style (elegant, dictated by her job) but her sex drive is nothing compared to before. We used to **** like rabbits for 10 years together but with kids and career development this became difficult. I supposed that her confidence in her body suffered too since she looked like a super model (super flat tummy and perky breasts etc) until after the kids when her boobs got bigger but obviously body is not exactly the same. She still is a fiery lover in the bedroom who likes using dirty words and be dominated and I love her body, smell and skin and I dont imagine ever being with another woman. She is tight and barely fits my 8inches and can barely walk following morning. Life is life and we don't have sex as much as before, probably 2-3 times a month, dictated by work and family responsibilities.

Nevertheless that is not really the main issue or question I want to ask, merely a background. Here is the Q:

So.. She has always been extremely possessive and jealous about me, to the point of massive fights about her perceptions about someone I had contact with at work (and ZERO interest of intention of having affair for number of reasons beyond the love for my wife) which has settled down a bit over the years but never went away and with her not being in a mindset to keep up our sex life, it became more and more frustrating because I am the most loyal man a woman could dream of, we share responsibilities at home, I make twice she makes, I shower her with compliments, buy flowers randomly and give her multiple orgasms EVERY single time.
She's feisty and emotional at baseline, in a cliche Latino manner (although she's not Latina) but submissive and I lead our family on daily issues and make most important decisions which make her uneasy and conflicted.
She does have this fetish for infidelity in fantasy realm where (while being fucked hard) screams out about being a dirty whore, taking multiple cocks and having this fantasy of being sexually exploited but older professor at the university, taken forceful and bareback on his desk and choked with cock etc.
Simultaneously she's extremely monogamous and loyal and always has been.. well since she cheated on her previous husband with me which led to our relationship we have been in happily for 10 years.

I have always had some interest in kinks and especially non monogamy but those have crystalized into fantasizes of nude beaches, sex in public (with her) and obviously seeing her fucked by other men.

Is this a good starting point to even contemplate hotwife lifestyle?
Would hotwifing be a good fit for her and help or work well with her jealousy?

I have no inclination towards cuckolding style humiliation and like to dominate her and the idea of her screaming her sex out with others or in MFM or MMMF scenario sounds appealing.

Ideas if and how to start? Or wait?

Thanks so much

 

[alonsonyc]

It is very important to know her opinion on this, if you are sure you can open this topic you should talk to her and see what she says. Then you can take some steps together that other members of this forum say they have followed.

Thank you! I wonder if young kids in the house prohibit this kind of endeavor and if we should wait until they are out of the house.. Which could also unburden her emotionally and allow to focus on herself. Thoughts?

 

[alonsonyc]

Kids should not be involved in any way, if you come to a consensus and start this lifestyle you should do it away from the kids, in a hotel or somewhere else, not at home when kids are in.

most certainly! what I mean is whether having small kids (grade school) is an emotional deterrant from engaging in the lifestyle..?

 

[stonemtncouple]

Question,
Could you support your family finances from just your earnings and let your wife become a true Trophy Wife?
Less stress on her may result in a increase in her libedo.
We got into Hotwifeing through swinging.
Is your wife open to going to a swinger friendly resort for a vacation ? Desire Cancun Mex. has turned many wives into Hotwives.

 

[alonsonyc]

Question,
Could you support your family finances from just your earnings and let your wife become a true Trophy Wife?
Less stress on her may result in a increase in her libedo.
We got into Hotwifeing through swinging.
Is your wife open to going to a swinger friendly resort for a vacation ? Desire Cancun Mex. has turned many wives into Hotwives.

She's a pro with Ivy league training in healthcare (loooong) so she would probably not want to give this away. She works 4 days a week as it is but maybe will be able to cut it back next year as my business picks up. Good idea though.

She has pretty poor opinion re swinger clubs (being very monogamous and possessive) but same time I feel it;s a one way street, taking her fantasies I mentioned before into account. We did go to Jamaica to clothing optional resort once years ago and only got her to wear a micro bikini and have sex in the hot tub afterdark but nobody else was there so pretty vanilla.

 

[Daddy7x6]

Based on her hardcore monogamy beliefs and jealousy, plus the vanilla experience at clothing optional resort, this sounds like a Hail Mary.

I would be straight up about it and start programming her mind with stories, situational talk in bed, etc. It may be a non starter and she may become more suspect of any women, wondering if you're trying to get her laid because you're out fooling around. Or that you'll say, hey now it's my turn to find a new girl to play with after she plays with guys.

Interesting chapter in life!

 

[2wheel]

First asn foremost think hard whether this LS is for you. Could you actually handle her being with another man, not when you sexually aroused but after ejaculation, when your sexually high is gone. Think about your wife, does she bome emotionally attached to a sex partner or is it just sex, you should know, you were that guy.

Assuming all is right. Use her verbal bedroom play as a launching pad, not after sex but during sex when she's on a sexual high. Something as simple as when she talks about "taking multiple cocks" that you can make that happen for real. Don't ask her, tell her!

Something I say over and over "sometimes the sizzle is better than the steak".

 

[alonsonyc]

Based on her hardcore monogamy beliefs and jealousy, plus the vanilla experience at clothing optional resort, this sounds like a Hail Mary.

I would be straight up about it and start programming her mind with stories, situational talk in bed, etc. It may be a non starter and she may become more suspect of any women, wondering if you're trying to get her laid because you're out fooling around. Or that you'll say, hey now it's my turn to find a new girl to play with after she plays with guys.

Interesting chapter in life!

Indeed interesting..
Speaking of vanilla stuff and her overall sensuality she's pretty naughty when horny and in between.
She's a pillow princess but when she gets on it she's a passionate cocksucker and always swallows or takes the load on her pretty face with no complaints, she takes care of the balls and even does some rimming unprompted.
Definitely loves rough sex, spanking and feeling restrained and cums super hard screaming which she has hard time controlling. No real anal because she's concerned about her and my size but is comfortable with tongue and fingers.
I can drop her to her knees in the middle of the kitchen or living room after coming from work and choke her with my hardening sweaty cock and she gets super horny immediately and sucks to completion v we have a quickie.

We had some water games experience when I pissed on her sexy body and that got her horny and led to crazy sex (hotel).

Sex on period is routine and she feels horny doing it and seeing my cock covered with her blood and my cum.

She also tried to fuck me in the car in the a busy mall parking lot years ago, out of her own initiative.

She also cheated on her previous husband.. with me. Although that relationship was probably not great.

All things considered.. do you think there is a decent chance?

 

[alonsonyc]

First asn foremost think hard whether this LS is for you. Could you actually handle her being with another man, not when you sexually aroused but after ejaculation, when your sexually high is gone. Think about your wife, does she bome emotionally attached to a sex partner or is it just sex, you should know, you were that guy.

Assuming all is right. Use her verbal bedroom play as a launching pad, not after sex but during sex when she's on a sexual high. Something as simple as when she talks about "taking multiple cocks" that you can make that happen for real. Don't ask her, tell her!

Something I say over and over "sometimes the sizzle is better than the steak".

Thank you for the advice.
Is there a movie or a book which could help introducing the concept very easily. Planting a seed of curiosity at least or make LS seem less "dirty" in her mind.
I think she's got lots of preconceptions (as in swingers must imply the man is bi or gay) and it's hard to dispel them without appearing partial to the idea of hotwifing which is in the same ballpark.

 

[Daddy7x6]

Indeed interesting..
Speaking of vanilla stuff and her overall sensuality she's pretty naughty when horny and in between.
She's a pillow princess but when she gets on it she's a passionate cocksucker and always swallows or takes the load on her pretty face with no complaints, she takes care of the balls and even does some rimming unprompted.
Definitely loves rough sex, spanking and feeling restrained and cums super hard screaming which she has hard time controlling. No real anal because she's concerned about her and my size but is comfortable with tongue and fingers.
I can drop her to her knees in the middle of the kitchen or living room after coming from work and choke her with my hardening sweaty cock and she gets super horny immediately and sucks to completion v we have a quickie.

We had some water games experience when I pissed on her sexy body and that got her horny and led to crazy sex (hotel).

Sex on period is routine and she feels horny doing it and seeing my cock covered with her blood and my cum.

She also tried to fuck me in the car in the a busy mall parking lot years ago, out of her own initiative.

She also cheated on her previous husband.. with me. Although that relationship was probably not great.

All things considered.. do you think there is a decent chance?

Lmfao...that's not very vanilla after all! I think she'd be down.

My game is dominant. Not a Cuck. I tell her what to do and usually tell the guy what to do as well...as things progress I will grant more freedom especially if the guy asks me permission. She gets turned in by just being our fuck doll as she's more submissive by nature.

Like the previous poster above said, during sex, start training her... when she's horny shove some fingers in her mouth and tell her to suck that fucking cock while you continue to stroke her pussy with your cock. Tell her to tell you when she's gonna cum in your cock and because your "friend" is gonna bust his nut in her mouth when she starts to cum and that she needs to be a good girl and drink all of him to show friend how lucky Daddy is to have her.

Doing this, and you don't have to.go.that far at first, but build to.it . Maybe suck this cock while I fuck you, keep.easing her into it. Eventually she will start wanting it to please you. But the game for us is: "you're my hot bitch and I want to share you with other guys to wear your pussy out and show them how terrific you are and how fortunate I am" And she needs to do a fantastic job if I tell her to suck a guy's cock. She jumps in and starts worshipping their cock (the bigger the better as she's used to big), I get super turned on and I usually fuck.her immediately while.shes sucking them and she starts cumming super quick.

--also, I play alone.with other women (vanilla women mostly) and When I start planting these same seeds about wanting them to get fucked by me and other guys etc,.most of them get super into it. They are also surprised but it makes them feel comfy being 'slutty' bc they know I approve. It definitely works you just have to.be assertive and say it like you mean it, and ask questions sometimes while you're playing pretend...'is his dick hard in your mouth?' 'he said.he hasn't came in a week and needs to cum bad, will you drink it all?' etc. Just have fun with it and she will probably transition eventually.

But again, be sure you'll.be OK with her getting horny for another guy in front of you. That's why the pretend games help you both see if you'd like that or not. And a different style of MFM might suit you instead.

 

[ChiefMac]

She's super into monogamy but she cheated on her hubby with you? She tells you she wants different cock? She is very jealous of you? You fawn all over her? You only have sex 2 or 3 times a month but she never refuses you? She works 4 days a week and you have a nanny?
Cheaters always cheat. She's getting side dick for sure.

 

[jw_kk]

My wife KK has been extraordinarily, nearly homicidally jealous when it comes to me and other women, ever since I've known her. Our venture into the hot wife lifestyle has not diminished her jealousy, not even in the slightest. It is one of the most puzzling aspects of our relationship - the asymmetry is striking to me; given that KK expects, in facts demands that sex with other men is OK for her, but me having sex with other women is problematic.

 

[alonsonyc]

She's super into monogamy but she cheated on her hubby with you? She tells you she wants different cock? She is very jealous of you? You fawn all over her? You only have sex 2 or 3 times a month but she never refuses you? She works 4 days a week and you have a nanny?
Cheaters always cheat. She's getting side dick for sure.

I thought about it but it's just not her style. She's a doctor so work is busy and not 9-5 only.

 

[alonsonyc]

Lmfao...that's not very vanilla after all! I think she'd be down.

My game is dominant. Not a Cuck. I tell her what to do and usually tell the guy what to do as well...as things progress I will grant more freedom especially if the guy asks me permission. She gets turned in by just being our fuck doll as she's more submissive by nature.

Like the previous poster above said, during sex, start training her... when she's horny shove some fingers in her mouth and tell her to suck that fucking cock while you continue to stroke her pussy with your cock. Tell her to tell you when she's gonna cum in your cock and because your "friend" is gonna bust his nut in her mouth when she starts to cum and that she needs to be a good girl and drink all of him to show friend how lucky Daddy is to have her.

Doing this, and you don't have to.go.that far at first, but build to.it . Maybe suck this cock while I fuck you, keep.easing her into it. Eventually she will start wanting it to please you. But the game for us is: "you're my hot bitch and I want to share you with other guys to wear your pussy out and show them how terrific you are and how fortunate I am" And she needs to do a fantastic job if I tell her to suck a guy's cock. She jumps in and starts worshipping their cock (the bigger the better as she's used to big), I get super turned on and I usually fuck.her immediately while.shes sucking them and she starts cumming super quick.

--also, I play alone.with other women (vanilla women mostly) and When I start planting these same seeds about wanting them to get fucked by me and other guys etc,.most of them get super into it. They are also surprised but it makes them feel comfy being 'slutty' bc they know I approve. It definitely works you just have to.be assertive and say it like you mean it, and ask questions sometimes while you're playing pretend...'is his dick hard in your mouth?' 'he said.he hasn't came in a week and needs to cum bad, will you drink it all?' etc. Just have fun with it and she will probably transition eventually.

But again, be sure you'll.be OK with her getting horny for another guy in front of you. That's why the pretend games help you both see if you'd like that or not. And a different style of MFM might suit you instead.

Hmm. Thanks so much for the extensive reply and advice. Do you think that buying a realistic dildo would help? Have her get used to that other cock around her and use it during role play maybe?

"you're my hot bitch and I want to share you with other guys to wear your pussy out and show them how terrific you are and how fortunate I am"
Love it

 

[alonsonyc]

My wife KK has been extraordinarily, nearly homicidally jealous when it comes to me and other women, ever since I've known her. Our venture into the hot wife lifestyle has not diminished her jealousy, not even in the slightest. It is one of the most puzzling aspects of our relationship - the asymmetry is striking to me; given that KK expects, in facts demands that sex with other men is OK for her, but me having sex with other women is problematic.

Interesting! I think my situation is similar... Need to read all your stuff.

 

[alonsonyc]

Update..

I broke the ice with suggestive books, movies, messages and overall spicing up our sexuality..
Among those erotic pictures with hotwife themes without spelling it out.. and got a warm reaction.

During one of the evenings, inspired by a movie and innuendo we delved into fantasies and I shared mine that I fantasize of sharing her and seeing her fucked by other men.. After slight initial surprise she went to state, in the course of playful exchange maybe we can pay someone to make it happen. Which implies a male escort.. The fact she would entertain this thought is surprising and maybe it's a decent sign to proceed further with introducing her to this.

Am I seeing what I want to see or is there hope hehe?

 

[alonsonyc]

Update.. Had a discussion on the possibility of her being with other men.. it was rather playful with some drinks in but also somewhat serious including her concern that she cheated on her previous two partners before and it should be a precaution but that remark was quite humorous albeit factually true.. Otherwise I continue with innuendo and she's somewhat responsive to it on daily basis but would not declare her interest towards it other than laughter. We did not have the talk yet where I lay it all out to be honest since I have been testing waters so far..

Advice?

 

[2wheel]

Cheating implies behind their back. This would be out in the open with your approval and encouragement.

 

[alonsonyc]

Cheating implies behind their back. This would be out in the open with your approval and encouragement.

True but it seems like she's concerned about emotional attachment and subsequent issues with fidelity beyond "it's just for sex and fun."

 

[Sixteenshots]

My wife KK has been extraordinarily, nearly homicidally jealous when it comes to me and other women, ever since I've known her. Our venture into the hot wife lifestyle has not diminished her jealousy, not even in the slightest. It is one of the most puzzling aspects of our relationship - the asymmetry is striking to me; given that KK expects, in facts demands that sex with other men is OK for her, but me having sex with other women is problematic.

Oh the homicidal jealousy sounds very familiar. When I told her my fantasy for the first time, she thought it was an excuse for me to hook up with other women. It’s a good thing I have no desire for that or the Italian in her would’ve came out.

True but it seems like she's concerned about emotional attachment and subsequent issues with fidelity beyond "it's just for sex and fun."

I could see that concern. My wife and I have both mentioned that as a concern for this lifestyle. And like 2wheel said, cheating is behind your back. As far as fidelity goes, I’ve read so many women on here talk about having their fun, but they still go home to their husbands, regardless of the dynamic. If fidelity is a concern, the thing id be asking myself would be is it worth it to throw everything away? Can you have the lifestyle without it hurting your marriage? The best advice I can offer, coming from someone who would worry about fidelity at this point in time, is to have the conversation about why she would feel that way, and try to find a way to separate emotions from something that is meant to be just fun.