Looking for perspective - Am I looking too deep into this?

Apr 21, 2022
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I was curious if I can get an outside perspective on some recent events that I’m starting to think might mean my gf could be interested in a third. Let me know what you think.

For starters, my girlfriend and I are a fairly attractive couple and have been together for nearly 8 years. I’ve had an interest in sharing her for some time just due to the simple fact that I have no confidence issues and I’m 100% invested in ensuring she feels desired. We’ve never had any outside people in our relationship, so I thought I’d test the waters and see where’s she’s at without being pushy. It turns me on seeing her get turned on or feel desired. I’m also not a super jealous person, so after thinking about it for a while, I think it would be hot. I know the baby steps are essential. Wouldn’t try to push it.

So anyway:

•About a month ago, we were both talking about role plays and wanted to get creative. I randomly thought of one where I’d be her rebound. The role play would involve us “breaking up,” and then she would immediately text the ‘rebound’ right after. Id ‘go over’ , flirt, and then take her to the bedroom. She was turned on by it , which surprised me. She’s pretty conservative and I expected more of a pushback since it didn’t seem like something I’d expect her to get turned on by. I began thinking .

Fast-forward to last week. I decided to take the step and tell her that I thought it would be hot to see her with another man.

She was a little upset at first, but I realized it seemed more to do with “you just want another girl” as that’s all she would say or “you probably want that,” rather than a definite no. I told her it wasn’t about thinking of it so I can be with a girl and explained that it’s about her pleasure. She got a bit quiet about it and again deflected with “you probably want that.” I felt it was her way of saying yes, but she was afraid of what I’d rhink asked if she thought I was trapping her (due to her initial defensiveness) and she was quiet and just said “I don’t know.” No sorta outright shut down against it. Then I painted a more descriptive picture of how it would be and she sorta ignored it and was stuck on the “girl” part. I felt ignoring me being a bit more descriptive was guilt because maybe it turned her on.

I’m not gonna push it further out of respect for her and will stall for some time just because I don’t want to overwhelm her, but it seems like she has a secret turn on by it. At least based off these recent discussions.

Am I looking into this too deeply? What do you think?
 
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You have planted the seed know take your time and water occasionally and watch the idea grow with her. Example, wait and give it a little time, the next time you are making love/fucking her as she is getting in the grove (close to orgasm ) " painted a more descriptive picture of how it would be," and see/hear her response to the painted picture you describe. If her response is positive you have another way of getting her true feelings about the possibilities. I wouldn't use this all the time during your love making session, but now and then and see were it goes from there.
 
You have planted the seed know take your time and water occasionally and watch the idea grow with her. Example, wait and give it a little time, the next time you are making love/fucking her as she is getting in the grove (close to orgasm ) " painted a more descriptive picture of how it would be," and see/hear her response to the painted picture you describe. If her response is positive you have another way of getting her true feelings about the possibilities. I wouldn't use this all the time during your love making session, but now and then and see were it goes from there.
Yup. Too much fertilizer will burn the crop. Go easy and let her internalize/process her feelings.
 
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Another fun, flirty way to keep it in her mind is when she relates an experience that you've both had together, act confused, like you don't know what she's talking about. Finally say to her, "I think you did that with your other boyfriend, it wasn't me."
I started doing this with my wife a while ago and it established a situation where I could talk to her about having another boyfriend. I would talk about going to play poker with my friends and tell her that it was an opportunity for her to get together with her boyfriend on a Friday night.
 
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