Nature or nurture?

Scrambled

Well-Known Member
Dec 7, 2020
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In the book, Tell Me What You Want The Science of Sexual Desire & How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life,
By lehmiller, the author shows how people have strong sexual desires and they are varied. After the book, I found myself wondering.... I have absolutely no desire to ever be with the same sex. I do not dream of bdsm. But these are among the strongest, most popular fantasies. Group sex or sharing is another hugely popular desire/fantasy. I DO want to share my wife with another man (other men.).
Lehmiller says our fantasies appear to be influenced by our first sexual experiences. When I was very young, we played show n tell, truth or dare behind the bushes... usually involving one girl and 2 boys.
So yes, I had an early influence that matches my desires as an adult. So, my question to you is this.... does this hold true for you? Are your desires/fantasies a product of your early experience, or do you feel theyre more hard-wired into your biological makeup?
 
Where these tendencies are a product of experience, I believe is the root of fetishes. When we're talking biological predisposition, I believe that's what 'sexuality' is.
People can be driven by either or both. Personally I have an interest in sharing and group sex that is part of my sexuality, but I also have a fetish driven side that is interested in cuckolding principles. Fetishes usually derive from some need to suppress or escape some kind of unpleasant or painful memory/idea.
 
I am not sure...maybe a combination of both...I have learned a lot about myself as I have aged and think of my sexual experiences going back to my youth. As a young lad I used to suck my friends cocks and still enjoy sucking cocks....but I am attracted to women...so I am on the bi side. I also enjoyed crossdressing when I was a kid and was encouraged by my mom. She used to masturbate me too and made me submissive. And about age 11 I found out that my mom was having sex with other men without my dad present but that he knew. She did that her whole life. And I had a small cock and so did my dad.....so when I add it all up part of it is genetic and part is from experiences...certainly sex was not a taboo subject at our house and I saw my parents naked all the time and I was too. And then my high school girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me one day and when she handed me back my ring she mentioned she had been fucking a new guy for a couple of weeks and he had a bigger cock and was much better than I had ever been...and with my tears I masturbated for weeks thinking about her getting bonked... Go figure...
 
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