Never gonna happen?

[lazyafternon01]

If my wife has immediately ruled any chance of her being shared, Is this the kiss of death of it ever happening?

 

[arltxstagnvixen]

Is this the kiss of death of it ever happening?

No.
It can mean many things. And that is frustrating since you would rather probably have One Direct Straight Answer and simply Know.

Life and minds can be pretty dynamic, though.

Sometimes "no" really Does mean "No."
Consider, while it is your fantasy, it may be that focusing on that too much could actually be what inhibits it. When you really think about it, are you actually thinking of her... or yourself?
Because if it really was truly about her, then the "kiss of death of it ever happening" would look more like, "Well, if she wants to and enjoys it, great. But if not, that's okay, we can look at what she does enjoy."

Am I making sense? Finding this centered view is crucial toward sharing a lifestyle. To be shared - it must be Shared.

So, there are many reasons and I am sure many people will gladly comment on what they could be and try to help you figure that out. I will let them do that and be different.

Try to focus yourself more on what makes you love this person in a way that you actually care about their happiness more than your own.
That way - no matter what the future holds for you both - You will both be happy and enjoy it.

And not be stressing all the time over it.
Right?

 

[Rider400]

No.
It can mean many things. And that is frustrating since you would rather probably have One Direct Straight Answer and simply Know.

Life and minds can be pretty dynamic, though.

Sometimes "no" really Does mean "No."
Consider, while it is your fantasy, it may be that focusing on that too much could actually be what inhibits it. When you really think about it, are you actually thinking of her... or yourself?
Because if it really was truly about her, then the "kiss of death of it ever happening" would look more like, "Well, if she wants to and enjoys it, great. But if not, that's okay, we can look at what she does enjoy."

Am I making sense? Finding this centered view is crucial toward sharing a lifestyle. To be shared - it must be Shared.

So, there are many reasons and I am sure many people will gladly comment on what they could be and try to help you figure that out. I will let them do that and be different.

Try to focus yourself more on what makes you love this person in a way that you actually care about their happiness more than your own.
That way - no matter what the future holds for you both - You will both be happy and enjoy it.

And not be stressing all the time over it.
Right?

Reminds me of a porn I watched many many years ago. A rich guy asks a Conservative house wife for sex and that he will pay, say 1000, the house wife slaps him. He says I will pay 10k,the wife says who do you think I am, the guys says 20k,and next scene wife is giving him a blowjob. So no can mean anything, the table turns when there is something in for her.

 

[arltxstagnvixen]

Reminds me of a porn I watched many many years ago. A rich guy asks a Conservative house wife for sex and that he will pay, say 1000, the house wife slaps him. He says I will pay 10k,the wife says who do you think I am, the guys says 20k,and next scene wife is giving him a blowjob. So no can mean anything, the table turns when there is something in for her.

Or, if it is her idea and she feels it is what she wants to do.
When you push an idea onto someone, it often makes them reject it.

 

[JerzyJonesNotBo]

No.
It can mean many things. And that is frustrating since you would rather probably have One Direct Straight Answer and simply Know.

Life and minds can be pretty dynamic, though.

Sometimes "no" really Does mean "No."
Consider, while it is your fantasy, it may be that focusing on that too much could actually be what inhibits it. When you really think about it, are you actually thinking of her... or yourself?
Because if it really was truly about her, then the "kiss of death of it ever happening" would look more like, "Well, if she wants to and enjoys it, great. But if not, that's okay, we can look at what she does enjoy."

Am I making sense? Finding this centered view is crucial toward sharing a lifestyle. To be shared - it must be Shared.

So, there are many reasons and I am sure many people will gladly comment on what they could be and try to help you figure that out. I will let them do that and be different.

Try to focus yourself more on what makes you love this person in a way that you actually care about their happiness more than your own.
That way - no matter what the future holds for you both - You will both be happy and enjoy it.

And not be stressing all the time over it.
Right?

This is a really good answer.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

If my wife has immediately ruled any chance of her being shared, Is this the kiss of death of it ever happening?

In my case it has so far. But, I have read and corresponded with others from here that something got the spouse curious enough to try it and like it. So, it depends on your wife.

 

[lazyafternon01]

No.
It can mean many things. And that is frustrating since you would rather probably have One Direct Straight Answer and simply Know.

Life and minds can be pretty dynamic, though.

Sometimes "no" really Does mean "No."
Consider, while it is your fantasy, it may be that focusing on that too much could actually be what inhibits it. When you really think about it, are you actually thinking of her... or yourself?
Because if it really was truly about her, then the "kiss of death of it ever happening" would look more like, "Well, if she wants to and enjoys it, great. But if not, that's okay, we can look at what she does enjoy."

Am I making sense? Finding this centered view is crucial toward sharing a lifestyle. To be shared - it must be Shared.

So, there are many reasons and I am sure many people will gladly comment on what they could be and try to help you figure that out. I will let them do that and be different.

Try to focus yourself more on what makes you love this person in a way that you actually care about their happiness more than your own.
That way - no matter what the future holds for you both - You will both be happy and enjoy it.

And not be stressing all the time over it.
Right?

Thanks for your insight. Haven’t really thought about it from this angle. I am being self centered and not thinking about her wants. Kinda hurts to think I’ve been doing this to her. Thank you for setting me straight. I love her to death I guess I just let my horny fantasies run a little to wild sometimes for her taste. She’s awesome though and I’m lucky to be with her.

 

[werekinky2]

Thanks for your insight. Haven’t really thought about it from this angle. I am being self centered and not thinking about her wants. Kinda hurts to think I’ve been doing this to her. Thank you for setting me straight. I love her to death I guess I just let my horny fantasies run a little to wild sometimes for her taste. She’s awesome though and I’m lucky to be with her.

I can tell you how it went for me. I had been trying to share my wife for about 10 years . She finally agreed after lots of searching for us to meet with a guy. So far we have been enjoying it . And she had straight said no In the beginning we would even get into arguments over it .