She's Very Close

[MeSheHe]

So I'm really into this fantasy. Am 100% enjoying the idea of my wife getting sexual arousal and fulfillment with another man. It is the most erotic and powerful dopamine rush bouncing around in my head. And has been for many many years now. She is now aware of this. And she likes the idea too. I'd say her want and need for it matches mine at this point. And we have found who we believe to be "the guy". He is an acquaintance of ours that she is really into. And it appears he is into her as well. They have gone from just a friendly hello to lengthy conversations, flirting, lots of eye contact, touching, etc. Nothing really sensual just an obvious interest in each other and what looks and feels to be two people sending and receiving the same message and just waiting for the other person to admit this is more than you and I just chit chatting. Like they are both sitting on go and clearly have the hots for each other but at any moment now the dam will break and it's on like donkey kong.

So..having said that...does she just need to send him a casual hey what's up text message? See where it goes? They have each other's numbers (thanks to me) but she says they have only spoken face to face so far. But that she wishes they could move forward. He knows we're married. He finds her hot. I THINK he thinks we're swingers. Lot of swingers at the bar we frequent. Although we are not swingers. Just into sharing her. Anyway, I think they are very close to a f buddy situation. Just looking for advice on helping them get the ice broke on it.

 

[thebeginner]

Is "the guy" married? If he is, and either you and your wife is misreading his interest level and he turns your wife down, or leaves her hanging, then for sure he's going to tell his wife. And if he tells his wife, then your fantasy is going to be "out there". If you're okay with all of that then GO FOR IT!

If "the guy" is single (ie: no girlfriend, otherwise see above), then your chances of them hooking up go way up. In my humble opinion, a single guy will fuck any wife he wants to bed if presented with the opportunity. Especially if he knows there's little to no threat from hubby.

Either way, yes, she needs to send him a casual what's up text message to get things roll'n.

 

[MeSheHe]

Is "the guy" married? If he is, and either you and your wife is misreading his interest level and he turns your wife down, or leaves her hanging, then for sure he's going to tell his wife. And if he tells his wife, then your fantasy is going to be "out there". If you're okay with all of that then GO FOR IT!

If "the guy" is single (ie: no girlfriend, otherwise see above), then your chances of them hooking up go way up. In my humble opinion, a single guy will fuck any wife he wants to bed if presented with the opportunity. Especially if he knows there's little to no threat from hubby.

Either way, yes, she needs to send him a casual what's up text message to get things roll'n.

He's not married. And they are now texting each other. As far as me being a threat there is zero threat. Trying my best to give them their space. She is definitely enjoying flirting with him and trying to "reel him in" as she puts it. She has the hots for him. Like really wanna f this guy kind of hots. And he has noticed. She even texted him a "what's your opinion on people being f buddies?" question one night after we had all been hanging at the bar. He replied "it's up to the people involved but I don't personally have a problem with it" then asked her "do you know someone who's interested?" She replied simply "yes". He did not reply back to that response. But they continue to text about all kinds of stuff. So....I think it's not an IF thing right now but a WHEN thing. And I am probably more excited than either of them about it. Freaking awesome. Which is so....not normal lol but still so damn erotic and sexy.

 

[BaerBravin0]

My experience has been that most men in these situations wait for the woman to make the moves. After all, she is the married one and she needs to make it clear that everything is okay and what the boundaries are. I believe she'll need to push the situation and make it clear that she wants the two of them to be f buddies and that you approve.

 

[MeSheHe]

My experience has been that most men in these situations wait for the woman to make the moves. After all, she is the married one and she needs to make it clear that everything is okay and what the boundaries are. I believe she'll need to push the situation and make it clear that she wants the two of them to be f buddies and that you approve.

Agreed. I think he's just in the proceed with caution phase right now. He's made it clear he is interested. And she's the one initiating the flirting and pushing out a little further everytime we are all three at the bar together. Now they are texting each other privately. He hasn't asked her yet about me and what the deal is...is she cheating, are we swingers, am I aware and ok with it, etc. I think once that is addressed it will be all systems go for them.

 

[MeSheHe]

And the deed is done!

We went to the bar last night and her fav guy shows up. They spent the evening talking and it ended up outside against a wall in the dark. Then in the back seat of his car. For about an hour. I can tell you the windows were very foggy. I did see that. The rest she told me about. According to her story they both were totally naked. And she says his cock was big...and very very hard. She said he touched "everything" and had his mouth on everything. Said he loved her tits. They f'd but it was too cramped in his back seat so they didn't "finish the job" as she put it. But agreed they had to meet again soon and continue matters in his bedroom or a hotel. She did say he felt awesome inside her and could not wait for more. That she just wanted him to keep doing it. That it was absolutely amazing. And that he admitted he had been wanting to do this with her for awhile now. So...needless to say...I am one happy guy today. And so is he And so is she This is SO freaking awesome!!

 

[Riversideman]

And the deed is done!

We went to the bar last night and her fav guy shows up. They spent the evening talking and it ended up outside against a wall in the dark. Then in the back seat of his car. For about an hour. I can tell you the windows were very foggy. I did see that. The rest she told me about. According to her story they both were totally naked. And she says his cock was big...and very very hard. She said he touched "everything" and had his mouth on everything. Said he loved her tits. They f'd but it was too cramped in his back seat so they didn't "finish the job" as she put it. But agreed they had to meet again soon and continue matters in his bedroom or a hotel. She did say he felt awesome inside her and could not wait for more. That she just wanted him to keep doing it. That it was absolutely amazing. And that he admitted he had been wanting to do this with her for awhile now. So...needless to say...I am one happy guy today. And so is he And so is she This is SO freaking awesome!!

That must be a rush!

 

[MeSheHe]

That must be a rush!

Incredibly powerful rush.

 

[bunnyandtim]

And the deed is done!

We went to the bar last night and her fav guy shows up. They spent the evening talking and it ended up outside against a wall in the dark. Then in the back seat of his car. For about an hour. I can tell you the windows were very foggy. I did see that. The rest she told me about. According to her story they both were totally naked. And she says his cock was big...and very very hard. She said he touched "everything" and had his mouth on everything. Said he loved her tits. They f'd but it was too cramped in his back seat so they didn't "finish the job" as she put it. But agreed they had to meet again soon and continue matters in his bedroom or a hotel. She did say he felt awesome inside her and could not wait for more. That she just wanted him to keep doing it. That it was absolutely amazing. And that he admitted he had been wanting to do this with her for awhile now. So...needless to say...I am one happy guy today. And so is he And so is she This is SO freaking awesome!!

How did you feel not getting to watch (especially the first time ever)?

 

[Nigelhamilton]

And how did it feel to reclaim her after?

 

[MeSheHe]

How did you feel not getting to watch (especially the first time ever)?

I am one of those that actually prefers not watching. I like not being present. Letting them have each other, being able to relax and enjoy being alone together, etc can make a first encounter a little less nervous for them. I think anyway. And I am FAR more turned on sitting at home letting my imagination run wild. Then hearing about it for the next few days. Which I have now heard. Multiple days. Ha! She is hooked now. "He made my body do things that I've got to have a second taste of" is what she told me just last night.

 

[MeSheHe]

And how did it feel to reclaim her after?

Amazing! She was a different woman that night back at home. Tasted different, smelled different. Like he triggered a chemical release I have yet to trigger. And her behavior was....she seemed still "lost" in the ecstasy of their encounter. With me but replaying his every move and word and reaction. It was awesome.

 

[bunnyandtim]

I am one of those that actually prefers not watching. I like not being present. Letting them have each other, being able to relax and enjoy being alone together, etc can make a first encounter a little less nervous for them. I think anyway. And I am FAR more turned on sitting at home letting my imagination run wild. Then hearing about it for the next few days. Which I have now heard. Multiple days. Ha! She is hooked now. "He made my body do things that I've got to have a second taste of" is what she told me just last night.

I wish I had your constitution. Between my ADHD and my narcissistic personality, Its extremely difficult to exercise any discipline, restraint, extra-dimentional thinking or patience.
At any rate, I may have no other choice soonbut to rise to the occasion. My wife's next opportunity has said if they hook up, he doesn't want me watching.

 

[MeSheHe]

I wish I had your constitution. Between my ADHD and my narcissistic personality, Its extremely difficult to exercise any discipline, restraint, extra-dimentional thinking or patience.
At any rate, I may have no other choice soonbut to rise to the occasion. My wife's next opportunity has said if they hook up, he doesn't want me watching.

So you'd prefer to watch them but he's saying no. He wants her in a private setting...alone. How does your wife feel about that?

 

[MeSheHe]

So I want to pose a question to those who have responded to this thread. What is the psychology that makes this so appealing to a husband? Why would any man WANT his wife to be sexually available to another man? To give herself to him. It doesn't make sense really. I was raised to believe you keep your eyes on any other man around your girl. Nobody gets a free pass at her. Once she's yours she's no longer "on the market". So why is this lifestyle of cuckolding or hotwifing so damn erotic and hot?? Now you want the complete opposite. Now that guy who previously had better not even look her way or say hello...now you're like please...f her...and hard. And you like it as much as she does. Just so backward. What makes it such a turn on now?

 

[penc1ld1kt]

So I want to pose a question to those who have responded to this thread. What is the psychology that makes this so appealing to a husband? Why would any man WANT his wife to be sexually available to another man? To give herself to him. It doesn't make sense really. I was raised to believe you keep your eyes on any other man around your girl. Nobody gets a free pass at her. Once she's yours she's no longer "on the market". So why is this lifestyle of cuckolding or hotwifing so damn erotic and hot?? Now you want the complete opposite. Now that guy who previously had better not even look her way or say hello...now you're like please...f her...and hard. And you like it as much as she does. Just so backward. What makes it such a turn on now?

I have a friend who can't stand chocolate. He finds it absolutely disgusting. I on the other hand think it's delicious and can't fathom how anyone could not find 91% cocoa dark chocolate anything but delectable.

That is to say, this is just what does it for many, many men. I'd probably prefer it didn't but CFNM, SPH and cuckolding has always jusy rung my bell. I've spent many an hour trying to work out why. Was it because my mother divorced my 5'9" father and remarried a 6'4" fellow with a much bigger cock? Was it because I bumped my head as a youngster? Was it games of doctors and nurses with a female friend before I had hit puberty?

I think the general consensus of experts is that we're pretty much born with our sexuality a certain way and there's not much we can do about it (e.g. why you can't 'cure' someone of homosexuality). When I went to a psychologist to talk about it she encouraged acceptance "maybe that's just what gets you off" she said.

After reading 'Sex At Dawn' cuckolding makes sense to me from an evolutionary perspective. The authors theorise that humans evolved in a polyamorous tribal environment thus watching others fuck would have been common place.

 

[majorem]

I think it is based on "gaming" certain innate, evolutionary mating behaviors for our own excitement and satisfaction. There are various observed behaviors / psychological reactions that are common among many mammals and other animals. Humans, I think, are rather complex given that we're evolutionarily programmed to have certain behaviors / feelings around mating but we're also intelligent and self-aware (some more than others), which adds a whole other layer of weirdness, where I think we come to realize that certain stimuli will create a certain effect that come to enjoy and want to artificially produce.

There is also the whole group hierarchy, alpha / beta-male thing too, which probably leads to different flavors of sharing - a whole spectrum of stag vs. cuckold relationships and modes of sharing, etc.

I think "male sperm competition" and the "Coolidge effect" are probably mostly responsible for the increased feelings of sexual excitement. Studies have shown repeatedly that many male animals are driven to increase sexual frequency and even sperm production as a result of perceived mating competition. I even read one thing saying after acts of infidelity by the women, both men and women reported sex with deeper, harder male thrusts, suggestive of "sperm removal" behavior.

Apparently even watching porn with multiple men and a single woman can increase sperm production.

"Kilgallon and Simmons documented that men produce a higher percentage of motile sperm in their ejaculates after viewing sexually explicit images of two men and one woman (a sperm competition risk) than after viewing sexually explicit images of three women, likely indicating a response to an active risk of sperm competition"

The Coolidge effect is a phenomenon where mating frequency among familiar partners will tend to decrease over time but introducing a new potential make will result in a renewed increase in mating activity. Experiments have mostly focused on male reactions but a few carefully constructed studies have shown this also works for females. This phenomenon is likely some part of the reason people often talk about increased libido in their wife after sharing.

Similar to this, I've heard a story (not 100% sure where it came from) that if you introduce a male rat to a population of females, they'll go around mating like crazy for a while, then get bored and slow down. However, if you introduce a second male, who begins mating with the females, the original male will then want to go around mating with all the females again.

Then there's "mate-guarding" psychology, which can trigger people to want to reinforce a relationship with sex or increased lovingness, after experiencing some threat to the relationship.

So, I dunno, seems like there is some weird amalgamation of these things at play where. These feelings and behaviors can arise naturally among people who experience infidelity or the perceived risk of it. In this case, I think people who have this fantasy either recognized those feelings and the excitement / arousal they induced after having such an experience or possibly by viewing that kind of porn and realized they could deliberately create situations (albeit hopefully safer) to stimulate that same exciting response.

 

[Goodlad1]

So I want to pose a question to those who have responded to this thread. What is the psychology that makes this so appealing to a husband? Why would any man WANT his wife to be sexually available to another man? To give herself to him. It doesn't make sense really. I was raised to believe you keep your eyes on any other man around your girl. Nobody gets a free pass at her. Once she's yours she's no longer "on the market". So why is this lifestyle of cuckolding or hotwifing so damn erotic and hot?? Now you want the complete opposite. Now that guy who previously had better not even look her way or say hello...now you're like please...f her...and hard. And you like it as much as she does. Just so backward. What makes it such a turn on now?

No idea but it is. I posted on another thread about being jealous when I was younger but now and more time to be honest, I want to see my wife get fucked by another guy and then enjoy the after effects. Not sure what changed in my mind, but there was definitely a change.

 

[mikewannacuck]

So I want to pose a question to those who have responded to this thread. What is the psychology that makes this so appealing to a husband? Why would any man WANT his wife to be sexually available to another man? To give herself to him. It doesn't make sense really. I was raised to believe you keep your eyes on any other man around your girl. Nobody gets a free pass at her. Once she's yours she's no longer "on the market". So why is this lifestyle of cuckolding or hotwifing so damn erotic and hot?? Now you want the complete opposite. Now that guy who previously had better not even look her way or say hello...now you're like please...f her...and hard. And you like it as much as she does. Just so backward. What makes it such a turn on now?

Frankly not checking if I had replied, but I will answer this for you.

In the vast majority of cases it is a defense mechanism to compensate for self-perceived inadequacies.
That is it provides testament that the man won't lose his relationship status despite those inadequacies. He no longer has to compete favorably against other men.

This is the core reason in all that fetishize this.
The woman being savagely taken and turned into a slut also lessens the guilt of the man. He isn't worthy of a proper woman (who would likely leave him). He feels he is worthy though of being the provider for a slut. This feeds into the primary inadequacy motivation. In most cases the "I'm doing it for her" is a conveniently acceptable cover story. When they get hard thinking about it and scheme to get the wife to do it they aren't 'doing it for her', they are doing it for themselves. Her being pleasured (and not leaving them) is their reward.

Yes, there are those couples who have been together a long time, where the man may have health reasons making sex impossible. For those it could be altruistic. But for all those who fantasize about it, get hard, enter into chastity, feminize, or seek humiliation it all boils down to basic psychology of inadequacy.
Again, self-perceived.

 

[mikewannacuck]

To be fair, there is also the dominant that is in fact very secure and wants other partners. This typically falls into the stag / vixen group, not cuckold/hotwife.

All the subordinate activities (chastity, clean-up, etc.) are all there to demonstrate and gain acceptance in a submissive role. In basic mammalian psychology it is to remove the perceived male competition and to allow the 'man' to remain within the pack as a non-reproducing non-threat to the alpha males.