The Lead Up or the Actual Event?

WannaWatch

Male
Aug 30, 2021
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What excites you more? The lead in to the event or the actual event? For instance,

The two of you and another couple just hanging out playing cards and strip poker is brought up. Your very shy wife says sure why not.

or

No foreplay, it’s planned and all four of you are going at it?

personally I like the lead up part more. The anticipation
 
What excites you more? The lead in to the event or the actual event? For instance,

The two of you and another couple just hanging out playing cards and strip poker is brought up. Your very shy wife says sure why not.

or

No foreplay, it’s planned and all four of you are going at it?

personally I like the lead up part more. The anticipation
since sex is within the mind the build up is usually better. it is the anticipation and the unknown that brings excitement.
 
since sex is within the mind the build up is usually better. it is the anticipation and the unknown that brings excitement.
I agree. Sex to me is more mind than the physical. I’m constantly telling my wife to fuck my mind. When I can get her to fantasize with me, it’s a lot more exciting.
 
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since sex is within the mind the build up is usually better. it is the anticipation and the unknown that brings excitement.
100% agreement. I used to get more out of hearing about a recent encounter than actually seeing it happen. A paradox. Think of this: Pavlov, the famous Russian physiologist who played with dogs, who discovered something amazing. He would ring a bell and give the dog a piece of meat. Later the sound of the bell was enough to get the dog salivate; this is not at all the interesting part.

The truly interesting and paradoxical result was is that the dogs went more extravagantly agitated at the sound of the bell than at just being given the same piece of meat without the bell. A paradox. In other words, the dogs, upon hearing the bell, imagined the delivery of bigger, tastier chunks of meat than they would actually receive.

The mind can imagine more than can ever be seen. As they say, our most important sexual organ is our brain, as sex actually happens between your ears. In terms of stimulating nerves, nothing can beat a strong vibrator or, as some men are into, direct electrical stimulation of their cocks with AC current. Yet, the orgasms produced by such means are small compared to what can be delivered by woman (or man) whom we desire completely.

The mental overlay is far more important than the actual physical act. If you ever fucked in some public place, a park or library or restroom or on the beach, you know that it wasn't the wet organs rubbing together that presented the greatest thrill, but the sex combined with the danger of being caught, possibly by someone you knew, that supercharged the event.
 
The Spanish Inquisition discovered what all torturers discover that there is a limit to the pain that can be inflicted, before the victim's body floods with endorphins, blunting the applied pain. The evil workaround was the limitless power of the imagination. In fact, seldom was actual physical torture necessary, as one hour of showing and carefully explaining how each torture device worked was enough to make anyone confess.

In a much less grim vein, Victoria's secret was that less is more. A completely naked women at a nude beach isn't all that stimulating, paradoxically enough, but put her in gauzy dress, which sometime flashes what it covers before hiding it again will drive a man mad with yearning to see more. The eye and the mind loves to be tantalized. And the mind can imagine more than can ever be seen.

Also, you cannot see that much in real sex. Unlike porn, real people doing real fucking do it in the missionary position and often under covers or in dark room, so very little insertion and stroking in and out can be seen. But when she recounted their private fucking, my mind’s eye could see everything, even his cock sliding deep within her pussy, the walls of her vagina caressing his shaft, his cock head kissing her cervix at the end of each thrust.

In addition, reality disappoints. Say he cums after 90 seconds of fucking her or she gets sore and calls it quits? I preferred to imagine that they spent the entire afternoon fucking and sucking.
 
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"Wiseold" is right on target! When a guy is with my wife in our bed there's usually a sheet or some covers over them - even if I'm in bed with them, although we usually pull the covers down as we suck on her nipples. I get a sexy look as he climbs on top of her and penetrates her - that's what I look forward to but if it's a cool night she'll pull the covers up and they enjoy one another during the night as if they were husband and wife. I often leave at this point unless she asks me to stay.
 
The Spanish Inquisition discovered what all torturers discover that there is a limit to the pain that can be inflicted, before the victim's body floods with endorphins, blunting the applied pain. The evil workaround was the limitless power of the imagination. In fact, seldom was actual physical torture necessary, as one hour of showing and carefully explaining how each torture device worked was enough to make anyone confess.

In a much less grim vein, Victoria's secret was that less is more. A completely naked women at a nude beach isn't all that stimulating, paradoxically enough, but put her in gauzy dress, which sometime flashes what it covers before hiding it again will drive a man mad with yearning to see more. The eye and the mind loves to be tantalized. And the mind can imagine more than can ever be seen.

Also, you cannot see that much in real sex. Unlike porn, real people doing real fucking do it in the missionary position and often under covers or in dark room, so very little insertion and stroking in and out can be seen. But when she recounted their private fucking, my mind’s eye could see everything, even his cock sliding deep within her pussy, the walls of her vagina caressing his shaft, his cock head kissing her cervix at the end of each thrust.

In addition, reality disappoints. Say he cums after 90 seconds of fucking her or she gets sore and calls it quits? I preferred to imagine that they spent the entire afternoon fucking and sucking.
You have nailed it. Again, it’s the anticipation of the event that excites the mind. Your illustration of a peek verses actually seeing it all is much more exciting. My wife is hot as hell to me but I’d much rather catch a glimpse of her lace bra covered breasts between two buttons than just seeing them out. Especially in public. Knowing she doesn’t have any panties on under her jeans and that there is nothing between me and her sweetness than a thin layer of jeans as we shop or go out to eat is extremely more exciting than seeing her bare. Call me weird but I truly like the anticipation of it all.
maybe it is the thought of it being “forbidden” for lack of a better word, than the actual event.