What to think about it ?

[trashcount]

Hello folks ! I am 33 and my gF 29. We are together since 2 years and our relationship is really great !

About her : She is a vanilla girl , not very kinky.

About me : I really like all this Hotwife lifestyle and try to see what my gf thinks about it !

OUR STORY.
1.5 year ago: More than 1 year ago I told her that I would not say anything if she had someone else. That I was not jealous. At this point i did not tell her about my fantasy. She was a bit surprised but what could she say ? She just answered that she had anyway NO desire to see someone.

And then step by step I revealed her that I would actually like the idea of her flirting with someone else. I don’t think that she got angry but she was very confuse and not (so) judging. She just told me that she could never do that. Never.

I paid attention not to talk to much about it. I speak rarely about it and at the right moment(I think) 🙏

This summer:

Then i created a dare challenge while I was abroad with some challenges. It was really great because even if she did not do everything (especially dating someone on tinder) we had a great talk and it was the right occasion for me to tell her more about my kink. She was not saying no … but not yes. She said “maybe”

Since then we had some more talks. Sometime she gets angry but I am never pushy and I don’t bring the subject (maybe 50/50 or less). I just tell her that it is a kink and it will not change my life if she does not do it. It’s just something that I like.

Yesterday:
Yesterday I asked her what she was doing Saturday and she told me that she was going to a birthday that finishes quite late with some dancing etc.

And then …. Out of nowhere she asked me how I would react if she was not coming home because she would find someone.

I told her that it would be too much for a first time + safety concerns. I said “you can kiss or flirt”but not much more.

Then I asked her why she was asking and she replied “just to know”

Do you think she has something in mind ? What to think ?

 

[wormwood]

Yes, she has something in mind. The best you can do, after pushing her into this, is ask that she re-assure you safety wise and check in with you from time to time. Trust that your girl has a lick of sense and will not just go off with anybody. It sounds to me as if she's got someone in mind already, so buckle up and enjoy the ride.
She could just be testing you here also. Pass the test.

 

[btweets]

Yes! She absolutely has someone in mind and is looking for the green light from you to go for it. The problem I see is that you’ve been telling her that if she did find someone that you would be fine with it and that you have wanted her to do it, but now when she finally brings it up, especially on her own, you suddenly have limitations for how far she can go?? This is your opportunity to get what you’ve been asking from her, don’t screw it up now! This might be the the first, and even only chance to have her fulfill your fantasy. Allowing and being receptive to her request will almost certainly open the door for both of you to get into the lifestyle, but denying her or placing limitations on just how far she can take it, will almost certainly end any future opportunities. Now if were to tell her that you really wouldn’t be comfortable with her staying out for the whole night, because of safety reasons, then you might tell her that if she could tell you beforehand where she’s going to be, that that would make you feel much better, but otherwise you should tell her that she has a complete open pass to do whatever she wants, as long as she comes home and that she has to tell you all the details regardless of how hard it may be for her, but you’d need her to be completely and totally open and honest! But the bottom line is.. You can’t keep asking her if she would do it, and then put restrictions on exactly how far she can go, it just isn’t right and it’s just not going to work out good for you. By you suddenly doing that, and with the fact that it sounds like she found someone, you could quite easily push her into cheating on you. You asked her for it, and now she’s finally ready to do it, then let her move forward. It’s a win win for the both of you!

 

[trashcount]

Yesterday, We went to a bar and we talked about it again. I asked her few questions to clarify and explained her again what it was about.

That I liked the idea and I thought we could have a lot of fun together but that she had to be very transparent and communicative, and that our couple was on top of my priority. I don't want to play that game if there is the smallest problem.

She told me that needed to know exactly what she could do, that she needed guidelines. I answered : for now you can kiss, flirt but she can't have sex with someone. She agreed on it.


It's funny because no she does not say NO anymore. She wants to know what she can do. AHahah that's very good.

She is going to this birthday in saturday... will see !

 

[trashcount]

btweets, I understand what you mean. But you need to know that my GF is also a bit shy and for her it's an ENORMOUS step to just kiss someone else.

If she has sex with someone else, I really don't know how she could react but she could feel really guilty and event so guilty that she could stop this game.

I prefer to restrain her a bit at the beginning (for my confort but also for her to avoid bad feelings) and then unleash her in a few months.

We are young and we have time. At least it's what I am telling me

 

[btweets]

btweets, I understand what you mean. But you need to know that my GF is also a bit shy and for her it's an ENORMOUS step to just kiss someone else.

If she has sex with someone else, I really don't know how she could react but she could feel really guilty and event so guilty that she could stop this game.

I prefer to restrain her a bit at the beginning (for my confort but also for her to avoid bad feelings) and then unleash her in a few months.

We are young and we have time. At least it's what I am telling me

Yeah, you have to go at the speed you’re both comfortable with. Looking forward to hearing about how tonight goes bro! 😊

 

[goodhubby]

Hello folks ! I am 33 and my gF 29. We are together since 2 years and our relationship is really great !

About her : She is a vanilla girl , not very kinky.

About me : I really like all this Hotwife lifestyle and try to see what my gf thinks about it !

OUR STORY.
1.5 year ago: More than 1 year ago I told her that I would not say anything if she had someone else. That I was not jealous. At this point i did not tell her about my fantasy. She was a bit surprised but what could she say ? She just answered that she had anyway NO desire to see someone.

And then step by step I revealed her that I would actually like the idea of her flirting with someone else. I don’t think that she got angry but she was very confuse and not (so) judging. She just told me that she could never do that. Never.

I paid attention not to talk to much about it. I speak rarely about it and at the right moment(I think) 🙏

This summer:

Then i created a dare challenge while I was abroad with some challenges. It was really great because even if she did not do everything (especially dating someone on tinder) we had a great talk and it was the right occasion for me to tell her more about my kink. She was not saying no … but not yes. She said “maybe”

Since then we had some more talks. Sometime she gets angry but I am never pushy and I don’t bring the subject (maybe 50/50 or less). I just tell her that it is a kink and it will not change my life if she does not do it. It’s just something that I like.

Yesterday:
Yesterday I asked her what she was doing Saturday and she told me that she was going to a birthday that finishes quite late with some dancing etc.

And then …. Out of nowhere she asked me how I would react if she was not coming home because she would find someone.

I told her that it would be too much for a first time + safety concerns. I said “you can kiss or flirt”but not much more.

Then I asked her why she was asking and she replied “just to know”

Do you think she has something in mind ? What to think ?

I think you killed it, definitely a step backwards.

 

[Hwcouple702]

Yes! She absolutely has someone in mind and is looking for the green light from you to go for it. The problem I see is that you’ve been telling her that if she did find someone that you would be fine with it and that you have wanted her to do it, but now when she finally brings it up, especially on her own, you suddenly have limitations for how far she can go?? This is your opportunity to get what you’ve been asking from her, don’t screw it up now! This might be the the first, and even only chance to have her fulfill your fantasy. Allowing and being receptive to her request will almost certainly open the door for both of you to get into the lifestyle, but denying her or placing limitations on just how far she can take it, will almost certainly end any future opportunities. Now if were to tell her that you really wouldn’t be comfortable with her staying out for the whole night, because of safety reasons, then you might tell her that if she could tell you beforehand where she’s going to be, that that would make you feel much better, but otherwise you should tell her that she has a complete open pass to do whatever she wants, as long as she comes home and that she has to tell you all the details regardless of how hard it may be for her, but you’d need her to be completely and totally open and honest! But the bottom line is.. You can’t keep asking her if she would do it, and then put restrictions on exactly how far she can go, it just isn’t right and it’s just not going to work out good for you. By you suddenly doing that, and with the fact that it sounds like she found someone, you could quite easily push her into cheating on you. You asked her for it, and now she’s finally ready to do it, then let her move forward. It’s a win win for the both of you!

THIS! Exactly what I was thinking. Why do guys do this?? You've pushed her and now she wants it. Your rules all of a sudden on what she can and cannot do will screw this up! Let her do what she wants. She's obviously a big girl and can look after herself. Yes, she should most certainly let you know exactly where she is at all time. But you have to let her be free. She has somebody in mind and wants to spend the night with him. That sounds awesome.

One word of caution. Her asking you about being out all night etc might be a bit of a trap. If she senses you don't care about her and would rather have her with somebody else, it won't be long before she's somebody else's girlfriend. I say often on this site, A wife having sex with other guys is one thing, you have a permanent relationship for the most part. But a girlfriend really has no reason to stick around with you if she finds a better mate. Better sex, maybe more fun, seems like a better provider, seems to care more, etc.

Mrs Hotwife

 

[Lynnandhubby]

I have to agree with what others have said. You wanted her to do this and then when there's a chance you tell her to back off. Of course she agreed with you - she doesn't want to upset you. But talk about giving her mixed messages. It will come across that you don't trust her to use her own judgement about how far she's willing to go. If that really is the case then maybe you shouldn't have asked her in the first place.
For all you know this could have been the one big chance. There could be someone going to that party who she really wanted to fuck and finally after struggling with the idea for so long she was ready to do what you wanted.
At the end of the day, you know each other better than anyone on here so that decision is yours to make as a couple.
But what if she hadn't asked you and did go and fuck someone. After all that's what you'd asked her to do. Would you have been upset, angry or OK with it?
Of course you want her to be safe but unless you intend to be there when and if she plays, you have to credit her with the sense to make that judgement call.
James

 

[goodhubby]

I have to agree with what others have said. You wanted her to do this and then when there's a chance you tell her to back off. Of course she agreed with you - she doesn't want to upset you. But talk about giving her mixed messages. It will come across that you don't trust her to use her own judgement about how far she's willing to go. If that really is the case then maybe you shouldn't have asked her in the first place.
For all you know this could have been the one big chance. There could be someone going to that party who she really wanted to fuck and finally after struggling with the idea for so long she was ready to do what you wanted.
At the end of the day, you know each other better than anyone on here so that decision is yours to make as a couple.
But what if she hadn't asked you and did go and fuck someone. After all that's what you'd asked her to do. Would you have been upset, angry or OK with it?
Of course you want her to be safe but unless you intend to be there when and if she plays, you have to credit her with the sense to make that judgement call.
James

You must be sure about what you want, once she’s fucked by another guy you can’t unfuck her so to speak. So make peace one way or the other.