You have to make her the center of every thing. Let her know that no matter what you will always love her. Find some one that will help you to flirt with her, show her she is sexy,then maybe she will come around.But don't push she will recent that and pull away thinking that you don't want her...
Whit out knowing more about her there is no way for me to know what to do to make her horny. I had one couple that if you could get the wife to laugh you could fuck her all night. If you have ... we can talk privet.
First I have to tell you New Mexico is right next to Arizona And Texas Just south of Colorado. We are still in USA. Second I'll help you anyway I can. I'm 65 years old and when I say I've been there done that I realy have. So there is nothing you can ask or say that I have not heard or done.
I think you are going about this in the right way. I have help a few couples through these hard times so look for a true helper not just some one that wants a quick peace of ass.Make it fun.
I'm glade to hear that you are back as one, that's how it's supost to work. I would be honored to help, but I do live in New Mexico. I'm sure you will find the right one for you. Please if you need to talk to some one about any thing I'm here.