Start with asking her "would she be open to fun on holidays" (as less chance of feeling judged) and ask her 5 things she'd try if no one was to find out...
Here's my cock on her. I'm interested in helping her become a hotwife, as done so with 3 other friends wives.
Thank her for being open. Ask "In an ideal world, and not judging, what 5 things would make you feel more fulfilled?" She writes them down. You do the same. Then compare...