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A lot of good advice here. Wife told me she was fucking a friend of our neighbour, I loved my wife and decided to try and accept it and be supportive. She was very appreciative and did everything she could go help me through my angst, which made our relationship even stronger. Nearly 5 years on...

She told me she was fucking a friend of our neighbour's - I didn't have much choice

Neither my wife or I ever bought into the " black thing" and still don't but my wife has a black boyfriend. A lovely couple who happened to be black moved into the house opposite ours and we quickly became friends. When they had a BBQ to celebrate their new home they also invited us. Like me...