Did not see this post before my reply. Sex life is only as dead as you want it to be. Get back in the game and leave your heart out of it. Many are looking for pleasure without being fully invested. Good luck
Tough situation you’re in. Possibly you can have a mmf three way and at least be in the game. Even suggest ffm with you as the male. Seeing you in action may get her attention. At a minimum you will be sexually emboldened.