Accepting My Fate

TomandKayla

New Member
Kayla and I were married shortly after high school 5 years ago. She was and still is the most incredible girl I have ever known. Smart, athletic and beautiful. Our life had its challenges, money, trying to buy a house, etc like everyone else, but then our biggest issue yet happened. I enlisted in the army to help with our finances, but in less than six months I was involved in an incident that left me suffering from severe PTSD. The PTSD has left me unable to have a sex life, for now. I am going through intense therapy. This has been going on for a little over a year.

Kayla has been very good to me throughout this ordeal. I tried the best I could to please her orally and with my fingers but that isn't enough, and I understand. After many heart to heart talks and making ground rules, we decided that it would be ok for her to see other men as long as she could avoid emotional ties with anyone else. In other words, her interaction with other men would have to be "physical" only. To facilitate this - we thought it would be best if the man she saw was older, someone who would understand our situation and preferably married so there would be little chance of him becoming emotionally involved.

It was by chance she did meet someone through her job. Kayla works for an attorney and often accompanies him to visit clients who are incarcerated. It was on a visit she met an older man (early 50s) who was doing time for assault. For whatever reason, Kayla was attracted to him. She continued to visit him without the attorney and without telling me. But about a week before his release, she let me know that she had found the man she believed could "fill in" for me while I was repaired.

Convincing me to allow this man into our lives took some time. I went with Kayla to a visit just days before his release. I will admit, he scared me a bit but he was very polite and told me he would respect any of my wishes and would terminate the relationship should he be asked. When he was released, we picked him up. The first thing he wanted was a decent meal - so we went to a local restaurant sat, talked and ate. I picked up the tab and we walked to the car. On the way to the car, he put his arm around Kayla. I was behind them. Watching them walk together, his arm around her, on our way to our apartment it really set in what was about to happen. I wasn't sure this was the right thing to do, but the train had already left the station.

When we got to our apartment, he asked to take a shower. Kayla and I had a chance to talk while he was in there - I expressed some hesitation. She told me that was probably natural. She gave me my medication and then went into the bedroom to wait for him to get out of the shower. The medication makes me drowsy so I went into the bedroom to grab a blanket - the medication combined with lunch was more than I could handle - I could feel a nap coming. When I was in the bedroom, he walked out of the shower, a towel around his waist. I could see he was erect under the towel, so could Kayla. It had been over a year since she had experience a hard cock. That was about to change. He asked her "is he staying in here?" She looked at me and said "no". As I walked out of the room, he dropped the towel, Kayla followed me to the door, thanked me and kissed me on the cheek. The door closed. They remained in the bedroom most of that night and a good part of the next morning. Both of them had not had sex in over a year. I envied him.

This was 3 months ago now. He has become part of our lives. He hasn't moved in with us and is maintaining another residence with a friend of his. At times, I drop Kayla off at his house and she stays overnight. He is at our place a few times a week. Minus my envy, things are going ok. Kayla is happy with the arrangement. I continue in therapy in hopes one day she and I can be "together" again. But in the meantime, I have accepted my fate. I step back and allow her to live a full life - the sex part with another man. Other parts with me. I have learned you just have to open your mind and things will work out.