Advice needed: No photo or video makes me feel bad

[proton]

Hi all,

We just started in the lifestyle and my wife already had sex with two guys she met on a dating app. Now the first guy likes to take photos and videos and is happy if she shows them to me.
And I really like that.

The other guy though doesn't want to take photos/videos and was annoyed when she asked for it. They already had four dates. I just drop her off at his place, they fuck the whole night through and I mostly pick her up the next day. He even doesn't want to bring her back. Just to the train station is the most he would do.

Staying home alone while she is out getting fucked is fine for me, if I know I get to see something of it the next day. She does tell me all the details that I ask for, but that doesn't seem enough for me. Ideally I would be in the same room while it happens, if not, photos/videos are the next best thing. If I can't get that, it feels really bad, because I am not participating in any way.

I talked to her about it and she doesn't want to push him. And she wants to continue seeing him because she likes him and his dick. The last time he's gotten very rough with her, so much so that she cried during. She still likes him and wants to see him again. While I can't stop masturbating on that story I also feel bad and empty every time I finish. If I saw it on video or were even in the room while he fucked her hard - I would feel good after masturbation. I know that, because it's like that with the first guy.

I know there are different types of cuckold lifestyles out there, but I definitely need some form of participation or it's not working for me.

Would love to get some insights from your experience on how I could handle this situation. I want my wife to see him and I also don't want to pressure her, but I don't know how to handle my feelings here.

 

[MissMyWife]

You need to express your feelings to your wife and tell her why she should stop seeing him.
Respect is required both ways in the Lifestyle

 

[Discretefun66]

I agree that you need to express your feelings and how you feel about the situation. I can relate to video/pics or your need to be present. I am either present (in same room or near by) regardless if we host or not. We have had guys who were not comfortable with pics/video and that was cool we never made it a deal breaker. There has been times when she has gone solo but that was well after we were in to the lifestyle and I had a level of trust with here and them. I would add that there is a special thrill knowing your wife is out with another man and will soon be home to share the details which is cool. I am not sure by what you mean "gotten very rough" but it does not sound good, especially if it made her cry. This is the opposite of what this is supposed to be all about.

I get she is in to these guys but your feeling come first over her desire for them. also, these other men both the ones now and in the future need to respect her AND you. If they can't do that you need to dump them, there are plenty of guys who would like the opportunity to get what they are getting. There is different types of cuckold lifestyles but each is unique to the couples involved. Whether you want to be a cuckold or just have a hotwife who likes to play it is up to you two to set the boundaries and discuss the nuances that make the lifestyle hot for you both. My advice her would be a hard reset on what you have started. Pause what you have going with these guys and you two discuss going forward what you both want out of this relationship. Then once you two have an understanding you can try again, maybe with somebody different who gets it. My other suggestion is when we are searching me and the wife meet the perspective new partner. A dating app just wouldn't work for us. Suggest Adult Friend Finder something like that or even Doublelist. Let us know how it works out and best of luck.