Can you help getting my vanilla wife into this?

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Nov 12, 2022
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Hello let's introduce myself to this forum. I am 35 years old and my lovely wife is 32 (blond, good looking). We have been together for long, like 14 years from now and have been married for 3 now, Also we were fortunate to get two wonderful kids. I happen to be her first serious boyfriend. She did have some guy before me but didn't have sex with him, he only touched her a bit. I had one serious relation before her though, so i have no interest in other women besides my wife.

Now i thought about sharing before, and sometimes when we have dirty talk i also try to mention on how she thinks about other guys and if she has disire towards it. She always refuses and saying she always wants me only forever. In the past we did made somekind of arangement on this subject. She thought it was fair if she was allowed to feel over a guys cross. In exchange i was allowed to feel over another womens breast (with shirts on). Sometimes i ask her if she will actualy do it, but she doesn't have that desire and is only happy with me. She also says she only made the arrangement cause i happen to had other girls before her, and this is honest.

Sometimes i also mention threesomes. She always immediately says i only want another wife (in the past i said yes, i like the idea of two women add once though). and it would have to be with two men, thinking i would not want that. For the last year, i asked further on the mmf threesome subject, bur then she backsoff saying it would be to much and she doesn't have that desire.

Now i really into this idea right know and love it if eventualy she will be fucked by another guy. We tried experimenting with toys which she is liking now and mentioned to watch porn together. Also i try to be more kind to her, make her naughty more and telling her al day she is beautiful.

Well i hope you have a understanding of my progress. If you happen to have any questions i can answer them. Can some of you help me in my progress? Any tips or small steps on how to proceed forward.
 
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Hey, it looks like you are still at the very beginning. I went through the same path and was in the same situation as you. Maybe you can read about it here: https://www.wifewantstoplay.com/threads/road-to-cuckold.28997/

What I think and have experienced: If your communication as a couple is not yet completely open and you both have secret desires, she will naturally say that she is not interested in threesomes or other men. At the same time, she might fantasize about it but be unwilling to admit it. She doesn't want to come over as a slut. Or she might even be willing to cheat on you behind your back: Be aware that more than 50% of people cheat. Fact.

So what I would do: focus fully on her, on what she wants, and on her desires. Stop talking about yours. Logically, talking about gangbangs, MFMs, etc. can be a big turn-off for her. Starting with sex toys is a good step. Do dirty talking, and ask her about the what turns her on the most. The more steps you take, the closer you get and the smaller the next steps will be. The more exciting your sex is, the more she will open up. And fulfilling her desires is the key to getting to know more of them.
 
Hey, it looks like you are still at the very beginning. I went through the same path and was in the same situation as you. Maybe you can read about it here: https://www.wifewantstoplay.com/threads/road-to-cuckold.28997/

What I think and have experienced: If your communication as a couple is not yet completely open and you both have secret desires, she will naturally say that she is not interested in threesomes or other men. At the same time, she might fantasize about it but be unwilling to admit it. She doesn't want to come over as a slut. Or she might even be willing to cheat on you behind your back: Be aware that more than 50% of people cheat. Fact.

So what I would do: focus fully on her, on what she wants, and on her desires. Stop talking about yours. Logically, talking about gangbangs, MFMs, etc. can be a big turn-off for her. Starting with sex toys is a good step. Do dirty talking, and ask her about the what turns her on the most. The more steps you take, the closer you get and the smaller the next steps will be. The more exciting your sex is, the more she will open up. And fulfilling her desires is the key to getting to know more of them.
Thank you for you're quick reaction. If i read you're progress you girlfriend is much further then mine.
I don't agree on the cheating, i honestly believe she would never do that. She has her values and know her good enough. She might be suspicious towards me on the cheating cause she knows i watch porn and like women in general (altought i would never cheat)
I agree on stop talking about my desires. Also i like to take the small steps. But i find it hard to find what steps i should take, do you have any ideas? Like what first steps would be in the right direction? This because we happen to be with eachother for so long and already tried several approaches.
 
Some ideas:

1. buy sexy lingerie together with her. Maybe an anklet too?

2. after the first sexy toys, it's time to buy more. Scroll through the website with her. This is a perfect game to find out what you both are into. If she says "I don't know" about some toys, that can be a big clue that she's really into them.

3. Buy a sleeve that makes a huge dick. But don't talk dirty about other big dicks fucking her. The dildo thing that everyone here does is a turn off in most cases I think. The big cock might plant the desire in her for more.

4. Have you ever talked about the idea of going to a swingers club? If the step isn't too big, that might be an idea. Make sure everything is non-committal and it's just about getting an impression ;)

5. more dirty talk during sex. Ask her about her fantasies during sex. Use a proxy: What was your dirties dream she had at night, or what was a porn she saw that turned her on a bit. It's easier to bond that way.

6. role play during sex: "I'm the handyman Henry. Is your husband at home? No! Ok Mrs. Müller, then I will take care of you".

7. Massage her for a long time. Use oil. Do this for at least 45 minutes. You can tie her up a little at the end. Then take care of her clitoris, lick her and fuck her at the end. This will improve your sex life.

8. when she asks you about your fantasies every time, this is the only moment to give her little nibbles. For your extreme pleasures put her in an open loop only: "There is a lot, I don't want to overwhelm you". Note: First you need to stop talking about all your desires, like in the past. When she asks you about your wishes then, this is a really good sign.
 
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Thank you for giving me some ideas to start with. Let me reply to this.

I like the idea of lingerie and more toys, a sleeve i brought to here mind before but she doesn't seem to like something larger.

A swingers club is way out of her comfort zone and mine also.

I will try to give her a massage tonight and ask through on her fantasies when she is in the mood.

If anyone has more ideas let me know. I will tell you how we went tonight.
 
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hello, last night i tried the massage, however she didn't want the oil.
So we continued just with normal dirty talk during our sex. This time i tried to ask on her fantasies and ask through on it. When she asked about mine i tried to just enhance her fantasy. I have to say it did work.
Her fantasy was to have sex in a hottub in a hotelroom when we were together alone. I fantasied with her on this. Also i did put up buying sexy lingerie together during this weekend. We went on for 2 hours until we ended using toys, it was a great.
Tonight i can try the massage again, or if someone can give me a better step forward let me know.
 
She mentioned a wish. You can book a nice spa weekend with a whirpool and fuck her in it. As soon as you fulfill her wishes she will be open for more.
This time i tried to ask on her fantasies and ask through on it. When she asked about mine i tried to just enhance her fantasy. I have to say it did work.
That is so key. If you do that, she won't feel pushed anymore. There will come a time when she is happy and really wants to know what you want. There will come a time when you fantasize about group sex. But first, one step at a time.

I don't think the hottube is a big fantasy that she has. Of course, she's only giving you a very small part of it.

I would suggest moving on. Do more dirty talk. Make sex great. Use toys, bondage her, lick her, massage her, cum in her throat. Whatever. Things will continue to develop. Especially if she is so amazed at your new sex life.
 
What worked for me... and my wife was getting her this hw manual called The Faithful Hotwife.
I've suggested this to others that are having trouble getting their vanilla wives interested or even considering this lifestyle and this was the first success I had after I told her about my fantasy.
The book was about $3 on Amazon, but i previewed it for free first. This is the only hw book my wife would actually read because it was written by a woman seeing this from their perspective, which I also enjoyed learning.
I don't have anything to do with the book but enjoy telling others about it because it really worked for my wife's journey, and mine.
 
Hello let's introduce myself to this forum. I am 35 years old and my lovely wife is 32 (blond, good looking). We have been together for long, like 14 years from now and have been married for 3 now, Also we were fortunate to get two wonderful kids. I happen to be her first serious boyfriend. She did have some guy before me but didn't have sex with him, he only touched her a bit. I had one serious relation before her though, so i have no interest in other women besides my wife.

Now i thought about sharing before, and sometimes when we have dirty talk i also try to mention on how she thinks about other guys and if she has disire towards it. She always refuses and saying she always wants me only forever. In the past we did made somekind of arangement on this subject. She thought it was fair if she was allowed to feel over a guys cross. In exchange i was allowed to feel over another womens breast (with shirts on). Sometimes i ask her if she will actualy do it, but she doesn't have that desire and is only happy with me. She also says she only made the arrangement cause i happen to had other girls before her, and this is honest.

Sometimes i also mention threesomes. She always immediately says i only want another wife (in the past i said yes, i like the idea of two women add once though). and it would have to be with two men, thinking i would not want that. For the last year, i asked further on the mmf threesome subject, bur then she backsoff saying it would be to much and she doesn't have that desire.

Now i really into this idea right know and love it if eventualy she will be fucked by another guy. We tried experimenting with toys which she is liking now and mentioned to watch porn together. Also i try to be more kind to her, make her naughty more and telling her al day she is beautiful.

Well i hope you have a understanding of my progress. If you happen to have any questions i can answer them. Can some of you help me in my progress? Any tips or small steps on how to proceed forward.
I just think that if she is into you and only wants you, then I'd go with that, it will be to much for her! However to move forward if you keep playing with the toys she might like the idea of a MMF threesome! Good luck and thank you! Enjoy! Steve!
 
Go slow. Discover her real desires. Women share... if you share first. Watch the degree you start and go from there. Once you get her comfortable and sharing deep desires you will then know the place to start. Remember all women have desires and fantasies you are yet to discover.
Ask her if she read romance novels in the past. did she read 50 Shades or Grey. Look for the sexual triggers. ask her the ideal lover.. Ideal romantic night, ect.
 
Hard to say what would work with her. Every woman is wired in a different way. I would just be 100% honest with your desires and see what she says.
 
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when i was dating my wife as teens she had a guy that worked at a corner shopping store and when ever i went in with her he was all over her i just thought they were friends a nd he was kidding around but 1 day i seen more he kissed her and she just melted then they went in the back she just said stay here she would be right back