Do you and your wife prefer the boyfriend or bull situation? Do you miss her having a boyfriend or does the bull relationship suffice?
I suppose in a way my bull James is also my boyfriend too, I’ve even attended family events with him, like his parents anniversary party and his sister’s wedding.
Sian. Xx
Well, both of those two situations happened and are now behind us, well, for the most part, her bull moved but he does come back into the area a few times a year. Its been about 6 months and he only returned once for a couple of days. She did see him for a visit but thats it. The boyfriend thing ran its course.
What was better? Ooh, well, they were different situations and likely suited to where we were at that time. We haven't been at this very long, just 2 years. So her boyfriend was a result of us not knowing what we were doing of where we were headed other than checking a box off on my fantasy of watching her have a threesome with 2 men while I watch. We needed two guys and no idea how to make that happen. We sent her out to find a guy thinking we would then do it again to find another. It sparked a romance which developed into a polygamy where she was with both of us. All the people say not to spawn a relationship but it was likely a good place to start and we may not have gotten anywhere without it.
The bull... This was not exactly the next step. She had a friend who was a long time hotwife but never knew the friend was into it. They started really hanging out once they figured that they had a common interest. Once the boyfriend thing fizzled we had interest in the hotwife lifestyle, both of us did. Her friend made a recommendation of a bull she felt would align well with where we were. Not exactly case closed at this point. Understand her HW friend is much further along and we had some inhibitions. The bull was an older guy ironically, married with a large tool and a larger libido. His wife of many years had given up trying to keep up with his libido so he played outside of hs marriage in order to likely be able to maintain his marriage. It was different than the boyfriend in every way. Meet up, do the deed, plan the next meeting and see you then. There was no real contact other than in person. No texting/sexting/cute calls etc. Just cut and dry as his wife was is main priority and he saw a few different women, not just my wife. Not related to the bull but maybe partially related we went through a "phase". The bull only met one on one, I was not part of the meetings unlike the boyfriend where I was either participating or watching. We made a decision to try the cuckold part out a bit. For about half a year she met with him and would come home and tell me stories which I used for self pleasure in her presence but not with her. She withheld sex from me but I was part of the decision. It wasn't the best 6 moths of my life but it was hot and we can say we tried it. The bull wound up moving out of state to be closer to adult children. Like I said, she has only met with him once since then.
Two different situations and they could have been closer in how we handled them maybe, we could have opted for a different bull, one that was into the couple aspect, but I think it got both of us over an inhibition plateau. Maybe we went a bit extreme but even Goldilocks had to try porridge that was too hot and too cold before getting just right.
Are we at just right? I don't know. She used to meet the bull Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Saturday afternoon. We said after he moved we would just take it easy and see what made sense, She asked to keep her Tuesday evening free, I normally travel for work early in the week so it makes sense. We kind of have an agreement that Tuesday nights can b a night for play. We have both talked to people that may wind up playing with us. More or less I talk to the ones that are interested in couple play and she talks to the solo encounter types and I haven't really grilled her on her success but I think she has had a couple of Tuesday night encounters. I haven't set one up yet but haven't really been trying either. I think we will find our comfort zone where she sees someone semi regularly and I set up things much less frequently but for the 3 of us.
