Help me understand

Rosie · Mar 29, 2023

Wondering if anyone can help me understand things a little better, me and my husband have spoke for what seems like forever about introducing a regular guy into our marriage. We’ve been on a few sites for years and at times for me it feels overwhelming trying to keep up with the level of attention and interaction that’s required!
A few years back we met with another couple for a full swap and all was going in the right direction until the guy couldn’t “Perform” I’m not sure if it was nerves or what went wrong but it really put us off as this was our first experience and it actually had a negative effect on me.

Recently we’ve been talking of different ways to maybe try again and my husband is almost obsessed with it being a single guy, he loves when I chat online, I’ve on occasion done live play on sites and it’s made him wild seeing the guys comment or give instructions where as for me it’s more a turn on being watched…

I’m trying to understand a bit more as to how his triggers work

A few weeks back I was chatting with our gardener and things got a little flirty, he’s at our home every week so we get on well, I explained to my husband that he was a bit flirty and he was instantly turned on by this, we’ve been flirting a bit by text and I’ve sent him some cheeky pics, I’ve also explained my husband is aware we are chatting and I’ve sent all our screenshots to hubby which seems to drive him absolutely wild
He told me if I ever get the chance to take it and the way the texts between us make him feel is completely new, I’m trying to understand this more like why does jealousy turn him on, why would he be happy me doing stuff without him seeing etc?
I’m not opposed to the idea as it’s exciting and something different I’m just trying to work out how to understand what makes him the wildest and work on that side of things I guess

Rosie xxx

wildcat · Mar 29, 2023

It's the thrill

GabrielBigHard · Mar 29, 2023

No one answers to private messages.
Hmmm....🤔

Rosie · Mar 29, 2023

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

GabrielBigHard · Mar 29, 2023

I don't know where You chatted online before , but i have doubts about that.
Maybe that guy couldn't perform anymore because of you.
And regarding about your hubby,he has this fetish to see you being with other guys.😉

Zeke01 · Mar 29, 2023

I’m quite like your hubby with what I like. Seeing the wife chat with other guys, get hit on or have interest in someone else is hot. For me, she is so good in bed that I want to see someone else experience it. It’s a pride thing too, I’m proud of how far she has come sexually. I also,like to see a woman let go and be in the throws of extacy! It’s very hot and sexual to see a woman enjoy herself, the more she gets off the more enjoyable it would be for me.

Oxfordx3 · Apr 10, 2023

The arousal and excitement can be tied to many things, and it could be more than one trigger for him. To start, the voyeur aspect seems to have a role in it for him, and I would also suggest it boosts his confidence to know he has secured himself such a desirable woman as his wife. I'm sorry that you had such a negative first personal experience, but I totally appreciate your dedication to his pleasure as much as yours. Keep going.

Enigm63 · Apr 10, 2023

@Rosie The triggers for actual or wannabe cuckolds are many and varied.

This may sound daft but many men need some sort of confirmation that other men find their wife sexually attractive - This is nothing to do with the wife's looks or behaviour I've known a guy with an absolutely stunning wife who needed other guys to tell him how attractive she was.

For some guys it's flirting by proxy - they themselves would never flirt with another woman (ironicly because their wife is the only one that they want) so find another man flirting with their wife a real turn on.

Radle123 · Apr 17, 2023

Throughout 20 years of marriage, I’ve been struggling to understand why the thought of my partner with someone else is so erotic. In everyday life I’m a very confident outgoing person, not submissive in any respect, and this also applies to sex, I’m confident, able to satisfy my partner both penetrative and orally providing multiple orgasms; so why does the thought of her seeking pleasure elsewhere turn me on?
I can only think it goes back to childhood (like so many things), I was often the butt of jokes, and made fun of by older relations, it was humiliating and throughout my adolescence I always thought of myself as ‘below standard’. So I can only think that this has left its mark. Most, if not all of my fantasies involve my partner having sex with ‘better and more well endowed partners’, the humiliation aspect is very intense, however, since it has never happened, I wonder whether reality would be as good as fantasy.
Hope this helps!
J xx

Domuk1 · May 16, 2023

It’s not jealousy it’s the thrill of the chase and the catch for hubby. He wants u to bring out ur inner slut and has given you permission to do it, embrace it make it happen and enjoy urself

Fazeldex · May 17, 2023

I feel like your husband does. Over the last few years my wife has become more vocal about Her fantasies and mine which usually include a black man. I get hard instantly at the thought of her flirting or even chatting with a black man. we do not live in an area where there is a lot of racial diversity so we rarely get the opporunity to interact. In the fall last year we went on a cruise and my wife seemed to attract the attn of a younger very polite and handsome black man.
She actually acted silly around him a few times. It was awesome to see. We have discussed him several times while playing and her pussy gets tremendously wet. The other night after one of sessions I asked her if I had simply looked at this very polite man and asked him to come back to our cabin with us and help me work on a few things, what she would have been happy or mad. She said happy. I asked, no really, if I had asked him would you have allowed him to service you, and all she would say is, maybe. And that tells me she would have fucked him if I had asked.
I dont even know if I would have really wanted it. It’s kind of a mystery. I think watching it would almost make me sick. To see it being done might have some very bad repercussions. But even as I can admit it might not be a good result, my dick gets hard as a rock. I Think I would have enjoyed seeing that fine black specimen mounted firmly on top of my wife pumping what I hope was a thick black cock in her until everything turns creamy with their mutual explosions.

alan13703 · May 17, 2023

Hi Rosie, if you ever work out why we do and like the things we do let me know.

All I can offer you is how I feel cause even I don't understand why it turns me on so much to see my wife get so intimate with another man. I love to see her naked and in our bed with another man. I love knowing that the may be at home with her when I am in a meeting. And I really love it when I know he has possessed her shooting his essence inside her body. I love the fact that she has giver herself to him completely. Why? I don't know, I just do.

Go figure, I even loved it when she fell in love with a boyfriend. He would text her first thing every morning and last thing at night. Every time I got into bed I knew he had been there too. When I hugged and made love to my wife I was aware that he had been inside her too. What can I say? I loved every encounter they had together.

jaandaj · May 17, 2023

To me it's not about jealousy. It's about wanting my wife to explore and enjoy herself. I know she is perfectly just fine with only me.
But I can tell her excitement when a man finds her attractive enough to flirt with her. Even more if he wants to have sex with her. And I am selfish. When she has sex with another man then I get it more than otherwise.

It not like we don't enjoy each other, it's in the every day life we get complacent! We don't make time for our partners like we should. One or both are tired or busy.

After her and another man play we kinda forget that it's late and we have to get up early. She is excited all week cause she has did something new. I'm excited for her as well.

The main thing to understand is that he loves you and trusts you to separate sex and love. He wants you to have best of everything even if it is another man's cock!

Embrace it, own it, love it!
And love him for letting you do it

XTac · May 17, 2023

My 2 Cent psychology.

Its not about jealousy and its not about just you enjoying yourself as some mentioned above. Believe me if your husband wasnt enjoying it and only you were it would be an issue. He wants it because he enjoys it - if you enjoy it as well then that is the cherry on top.

Where I think the kink comes from (I am not talking about full on cuckolding - I will never understand that nor will I try - that is another galaxy) I believe it is about two things:

1) giving up control. A lot of men are in positions where they are supposed to be in control. Boys are told this at a young age and live with that. When they give up that control to their wife/girlfriend it is a kink thrill because it is out of the norm of what they were molded to do.

2) When the wife/girlfriend let you in to their fantasies that most woman keep to themselves it is a huge turn on. Again as kids we are told and molded into certain ideals - which are fine actually but you have a woman that has these fantasies that she is willing to share with you - it becomes a whole new ballgame for the guy.

Both above take a guy willing to have a woman that opens up to him in a manner that is out of the "norm" and he has to be that guy that is ok with it. For some men the thought of his wife having those types of fantasies would be his end. Other guys feel the thrill of it - the thrill of this woman letting him in to her "dark side" so to speak. Instead of getting pissed off about he accepts that she has fantasies as well.

I could be totally wrong - just a theory.

Fazeldex · May 17, 2023

Wannabecuck895 · May 17, 2023

It is a turn on imagining and seeing another guy enjoy you and you playing with and fucking another cock. My guess is the first guy was very nervous. You should invite the gardner in and fuck him in the house.

Fazeldex · May 17, 2023

I think your theory is spot on. My wife shared with me once that the first man She ever saw naked was a black man when he was a kid and her dad had a playboy stored in box that had Misty Monroe as centerfold. I found that magazine and looked it over and sure enough, there was a pictorial called Sex In Cinema that showed one picture of a naked black man, and he looked pretty damn impressive. It was 70s and the movie was Mandingo or Drum. I quickly noted she was into my anything interracial and even recall a few things she said at times, innocent but questioning, and made me quite aware of her sexual ideas with black men because it was such a taboo topic in her household. And nothing gets me hotter than thinking about big black men and their powerful cocks.

Wannabecuck895 · May 17, 2023

I think of my wife taking a bbc all the time. Be hot as hell.

Fazeldex · May 17, 2023

Her favorite musician - Lenny Kravitz. She was the one who told me about his pants popping and his big dick flopping out.

Her favorite actor Idris Elba. I looked him up and he had some nudes taken and I copied them all and showed them to my wife and man, her pussy got wet as it could be. She likes idris Elbas cock and I did too.

We don’t have many blacks in our geograohic area but we went on A cruise last fall and we always seemed to encounter of a very nice , polite, and handsome black young man in his 40s. We are close to 60. My wife is downright giddy around him and it was so apparent to me she was kinda of “fawning” over him. I had encour@ged her to go braless on every outing. Sometimes she did and sometimes she didn’t but our new friend seemed to find us the evening she did not and I think he was honestly a very polite man and he seemed to like that my wifes nipples grew a 1/2 “ when she was around him. I know it noticed it and encouraged it. About 3 months after the cruise, I asked her to tell me truthfully if she has ever masturbated while thinking about him to which she quickly said yes. I found that so hot to hear or he say it. I asked her just few nights ago, if I had simply been direct and invited him back to our room or have a mutually pleasing encounter with my wife, if she would have been happy or mad. She said happy ! I then asked her if she would have really fucked him if I had asked him. All she will say is maybe. And that tells me, I fucked up by not being bold enough to ask him directly. He was definitely into my wife and her nipples were begging for attn. I wish I had gotten his phone #. He was out of Charlotte. I would drive her to Charlotte this weekend and let him fuck her if I knew how to contact him. I wouldn’t tell her why we going to Charlotte just that I need to make business call and see about time things and wanted her to go with me. I really think once we got into town and he happened to appear at the same restaurant, I think his cock would be in her several times before the evening was thru. I’d love to watch and even help. One of the few men I’ve ever met that made me think, Id suck his dick.

shaved · May 17, 2023

i love your shaved tight pussy i want to spread your legs wide open and lick you till u cum all over my face then make you lick it off me

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