I effed up “The Talk” How to get back on the track?

Dec 9, 2021
12
14
18
Guys! Finally grew my balls into convince the fantasy to my gf few months ago. So basically this is how it went.

We don’t live together so we often watch porn together. One day i select a vid and share the link the next day she does. i asked her shall we watch a porn video from a category we have not watched and listed few categories we haven’t tried and included cuckold in it. (We have accidentally watched a cuckold video before but never talked about it) she selected some other category. Then before going into the hub to find a vid i said i have something to tell her, and asked her if she remember we accidentally watched a cuckold vid. She asked whats cuckold and i explained. She said yes she remember watching it.

Then i said i enjoyed it so much, i watched the same vid again and i’ve watched few more cuckold vids. She asked “why didn’t i tell her?” And i got so excited. Then she asked “do you wanna do it in real life” and imagine the excitement i had. Stupid me just said “If you want to, i’m down to do it”.

First she thought i wanted to sleep with other women. I made it clear it has nothing to do with this. Then she was so worried, asking me why do i want to share her, how could i think of something like that, i never wanted a man who will share me and she went on and on and on and kind of turned into a fight.

Just for the sake of calming her down i said “no we usually show each other what we like to try through porn and since you’ve told me you are into brown and black guys (she had told me this a very long time ago) I thought you’d enjoy that, its not something i want to do its just I thought you wanted that since you told me you are into black guys blah blah and controlled the situation” so i’d just say i bottled it and never really had a proper conversation.

Since then I didn’t even bring up cuckolding but we watched 2 or 3 MFM videos. (Not recently) Again, my cuck thoughts are peaked to the highest. I really wanna talk about this and i need few ideas on how to initiate the conversation again. Like i know communication is the key i just need a solid and creative conversation starter to have the talk with her.

Anyone else has been in the same situation or anyone with new ideas please help a wannabe out! Thanks
 

reetooo

Male
From
UK
Feb 24, 2022
23
88
81
UK
I’m in the same situation. We were watching some mfm porn and she was getting really turned on imagining herself in that situation and even pretending someone else was fucking her while we were getting down. Any conversation while she’s not horny though gets shot down with a solid no way. 😭

My advice, make sure she’s super horny and in the same room as you before you mention it again and keep it light and let it simmer for a while.. women take a while to get used to the idea.
 
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Snoopsissy

Well-Known Member
Jan 24, 2021
1,067
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I’ve totally been there and have the mental scars to prove it ie the why would I want to share her etc etc bit - so frustrating when you know she’s been a slut in her past but just not with you it seems 😕
 
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reetooo

Male
From
UK
Feb 24, 2022
23
88
81
UK
I’ve totally been there and have the mental scars to prove it ie the why would I want to share her etc etc bit - so frustrating when you know she’s been a slut in her past but just not with you it seems 😕
Exactly. She explored this with her previous partner but it ended them and she’s not willing to risk another relationship ending.
 

Snoopsissy

Well-Known Member
Jan 24, 2021
1,067
1,915
203
Exactly. She explored this with her previous partner but it ended them and she’s not willing to risk another relationship ending.
ah I see , well I’d say that was a legitimate reason not to try it again as she obviously values what you have but on the other hand sounds like she is up for other things - your very lucky - my wife has never or will ever watch any porn - doesn’t do anything for her apparently but still manages to fuck her sisters fiancée and her boss at work and a good few others including one who just liked to fuck her arse - no pussy 🤔. But I’ve married her alter ego it seems - mother fucking Teresa . And sounds like when she was getting it they were all real boring vanilla guys too 😕😀
 

Ocguy

Male
Aug 10, 2021
213
617
133
You’ll be fine, it took a year from the first time i brought it up to her for me to get my first wife to let her coworker fuck her.

Same first reactions, “you just want to fuck other women” and mad that I would even think about having my wife the mother of my children fuck another man.

Yea just kept up with the porn introduced a life like 7 inch dildo ( 7 inches is the biggest she’s had before marriage, I’m 6 inches. During the MFM seems I would tell her that’s what I want to experience, 2 of everything.

Maybe a little over a year later I watched my wife take her coworker what we found out later was nearly 9 inches Latin American cock.

So be patient and bring it up as fantasy talk, introduce some new toys, the seed was planted now nurturing part begins.

I do have to say be careful what you ask for.
 
Sep 20, 2022
22
22
3
I've been working on my wife for years. She lets me have the fantasy during our lovemaking and is so good at playing the role that I think she might actually want it. Then she told me (again) that it won't happen. She says she is turned on by my being to turned on.

Funny thing is that when she is drunk she gets really...really...into the cuck talk. Even tells me to get the dildo out so she can fuck a real cock. She can't take that for long, make me cum in her and tells me to eat her lovers cum. She cums hard while I'm cleaning up my own pie. I just wish my balls were still full because I lose most of the urge after I cum.

I often think that if I arranged a real handsome (six-pack) hunk to meet us in a hotel, that it would happen. She says no, but when we were on a romantic weekend I teased her that I had. She got real nervous...but still walked with me to the room as if she'll cross that bridge when it happens.
 

werekinky2

Male
May 29, 2019
337
939
176
I've been working on my wife for years. She lets me have the fantasy during our lovemaking and is so good at playing the role that I think she might actually want it. Then she told me (again) that it won't happen. She says she is turned on by my being to turned on.

Funny thing is that when she is drunk she gets really...really...into the cuck talk. Even tells me to get the dildo out so she can fuck a real cock. She can't take that for long, make me cum in her and tells me to eat her lovers cum. She cums hard while I'm cleaning up my own pie. I just wish my balls were still full because I lose most of the urge after I cum.

I often think that if I arranged a real handsome (six-pack) hunk to meet us in a hotel, that it would happen. She says no, but when we were on a romantic weekend I teased her that I had. She got real nervous...but still walked with me to the room as if she'll cross that bridge when it happens.

Don’t try and trick her or set her up without knowing that’s just a good way to ******** her off imo . I was finally able to get my wife to be a hotwife but it took along time
 
Sep 20, 2022
22
22
3
Don’t try and trick her or set her up without knowing that’s just a good way to ******** her off imo . I was finally able to get my wife to be a hotwife but it took along time

Appreciate the warning and feedback. I'm sure that it wouldn't be a good experience if she wasn't fully ready or felt tricked.

What did you do that put her over the edge to doing it?
 
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majorem

Male
Sep 9, 2021
177
335
103
First she thought i wanted to sleep with other women. I made it clear it has nothing to do with this. Then she was so worried, asking me why do i want to share her, how could i think of something like that, i never wanted a man who will share me and she went on and on and on and kind of turned into a fight.
Haha, this is classic. I feel like it is an obligatory step in the process for most wives including my own. That is exactly the reaction I got... then later she wanted to talk about it.... then she got kind of turned on by it. Now she more freely will engage in this kind of fantasy play during sex, admitting fantasies like having multiple men line up to cum in her pussy. The other night she humped her huge dildo while I was out, then later during sex I asked her what she fantasized about and she said that it was two cocks in her and I asked if one was mine or if I was watching and she just said, whatever you want. So I said, "If I watched would you look at me while you were being fucked?" and she said "I'd look right at you while they were cumming in me."

Of course, like other's here, she has also totally denied she would ever do any of this. Early on, after every time we talked dirty like this during sex it would be "you know this is only a fantasy right?" Now she doesn't say that, suggesting she's becoming more comfortable with it. I know she also is starting to fantasize about it more often.

I think it just takes a long time for many women to adjust to the idea. I mean, I can tell you that it took me a long time to get into this - years really, because I finally felt like I might really want it. I imagine it is similar for many men here and so, you can't expect to surprise your wife with this fantasy and have her ready to accept it.

You at least have the advantage of your wife being into watching porno with you. The more you watch MFM video and incorporate it into sex talk, the more it will be normalized for her. After that, I think major hang-ups are body insecurity and fear that, despite you saying you want this, that you'll have some adverse reaction when it becomes a reality.

And this is where I really effed up the talk haha... So like 8 months ago I went out with my wife when covid restrictions were still in place and we dined outside in a heated "igloo" thing. I got a bit naughty with her. She got pretty drunk and turned on and started saying "I don't want you to feel like you missed out on anything in life... if there are things you really want to do, I want you to have that." or something to that effect, then asked what "the parameters of it would be, how it should work" - I was totally caught off guard and did not even really know what she was asking at the time. I'm still not 100% sure but I was not really prepared for that and got sort of embarrassed to directly say what I wanted. I said something vague, like I wasn't really sure, I just wanted to have some sexual adventure in our life... ugh...

Side note - around the same time, I also looked at browsing history on another computer I share with my wife, trying to find a site I'd found earlier and noticed a search for "what is slang meaning of stag"... I've never used that term with my wife, so I am quite curious as to how she came to search for that.

Of course, part of blunder is I also kind of chickened out when suddenly confronted with the potential of realizing my fantasy. Still not sure if I'm ready for that or in what form. It definitely turns me on but I'm afraid of how it could potentially go wrong.

I've failed so bad at becoming a stag, I inadvertently ended up becoming a bull but that's another story.
 
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HotwifeAnnie

Couple
Jul 26, 2022
18
377
63
Guys! Finally grew my balls into convince the fantasy to my gf few months ago. So basically this is how it went.

We don’t live together so we often watch porn together. One day i select a vid and share the link the next day she does. i asked her shall we watch a porn video from a category we have not watched and listed few categories we haven’t tried and included cuckold in it. (We have accidentally watched a cuckold video before but never talked about it) she selected some other category. Then before going into the hub to find a vid i said i have something to tell her, and asked her if she remember we accidentally watched a cuckold vid. She asked whats cuckold and i explained. She said yes she remember watching it.

Then i said i enjoyed it so much, i watched the same vid again and i’ve watched few more cuckold vids. She asked “why didn’t i tell her?” And i got so excited. Then she asked “do you wanna do it in real life” and imagine the excitement i had. Stupid me just said “If you want to, i’m down to do it”.

First she thought i wanted to sleep with other women. I made it clear it has nothing to do with this. Then she was so worried, asking me why do i want to share her, how could i think of something like that, i never wanted a man who will share me and she went on and on and on and kind of turned into a fight.

Just for the sake of calming her down i said “no we usually show each other what we like to try through porn and since you’ve told me you are into brown and black guys (she had told me this a very long time ago) I thought you’d enjoy that, its not something i want to do its just I thought you wanted that since you told me you are into black guys blah blah and controlled the situation” so i’d just say i bottled it and never really had a proper conversation.

Since then I didn’t even bring up cuckolding but we watched 2 or 3 MFM videos. (Not recently) Again, my cuck thoughts are peaked to the highest. I really wanna talk about this and i need few ideas on how to initiate the conversation again. Like i know communication is the key i just need a solid and creative conversation starter to have the talk with her.

Anyone else has been in the same situation or anyone with new ideas please help a wannabe out! Thanks
Hey mate. Heard this before and you're not alone. I was together with my partner for years and always knew I had non vanilla interests, including wanting to embrace the Stag and Vixen dynamic. I told her a few years ago about my fetishes and she was surprised about it in a similar way to you and the others who commented here. Though I managed to convince her to sleep with her first "bull" a month later and to this day she regularly fucks guys, we play with couples, I play alone sometimes and we go to swingers clubs.

It started by me explaining that it truly turned me on to see her play with others. Almost like me watching a live porno with my Mrs as the star. When we talked about it during sex she saw how genuinely hard it made me and exicted and it wasn't just about me wanting to sleep with other women etc.

I also explained that by her and I having sex with others we'd learn new things and explore different sides of us. She likes to show herself of by nature and get male attention and what better way to do that then be a hotwife. She also discovered that she enjoyed different body types, cock sizes and play styles with others and got really into the lifestyle very quickly. Even encouraged other select female friends to consider it.

I am into BDSM and she was happy to let me do that with others as she prefers other types of play.

Today she loves to flirt with others whenever she can and get down and dirty if she craves them. We like to host her playmates to have mfm threesomes or couples swinging, we go to sex clubs and she likes to put on a show in front of the whole orgy room. She has way more tricks up her sleeve now that she's been exposed to so much play, learnt from other men what makes them tick and I feel from time to time I'm fucking a new women :)

Our relationship dynamic will never go back to being Monogamous though, once you open it, it's hard to go back. I feel it's made not only our sex with each other better and more dynamic. i emphasised not putting limits on play with others, so that it makes the relationship unbreakable. You can't cheat really ewith us and it's strengthened the core of our relationship.

All the best with your attempts to bring your respective other halves onboard the journey :)
 

Ocguy

Male
Aug 10, 2021
213
617
133
I've been working on my wife for years. She lets me have the fantasy during our lovemaking and is so good at playing the role that I think she might actually want it. Then she told me (again) that it won't happen. She says she is turned on by my being to turned on.

Funny thing is that when she is drunk she gets really...really...into the cuck talk. Even tells me to get the dildo out so she can fuck a real cock. She can't take that for long, make me cum in her and tells me to eat her lovers cum. She cums hard while I'm cleaning up my own pie. I just wish my balls were still full because I lose most of the urge after I cum.

I often think that if I arranged a real handsome (six-pack) hunk to meet us in a hotel, that it would happen. She says no, but when we were on a romantic weekend I teased her that I had. She got real nervous...but still walked with me to the room as if she'll cross that bridge when it happens.
Just keep up the pillow talk and maybe when she’s using the dildo, tell her it’s time to feel the real thing, even better if it’s near a weekend getaway or vacation. Your nearly there.
 

ilovetofu

Male
Aug 20, 2021
45
71
58
So a couple weeks ago I was trying to talk to mine on a long drive and she was tipsy. Started to bring it up and she started asking questions that made it seemed she was intrigued, and then kinda caught herself and lost her mind. Yelling that I’m only using it as leverage for me to cheat. It’s a open relationship. Everything I’ve read on this site.

Tonight, I feel the seed sprouted. We were arguing and she brought that up. Again using the “it’s only leverage for you”. I just said that’s not it at all. I promise, and you could see her head spinning with thoughts. She also seemed to relax. What should I do next? Dirty talk in bed? How? Help!
 

majorem

Male
Sep 9, 2021
177
335
103
So a couple weeks ago I was trying to talk to mine on a long drive and she was tipsy. Started to bring it up and she started asking questions that made it seemed she was intrigued, and then kinda caught herself and lost her mind. Yelling that I’m only using it as leverage for me to cheat. It’s a open relationship. Everything I’ve read on this site.

Tonight, I feel the seed sprouted. We were arguing and she brought that up. Again using the “it’s only leverage for you”. I just said that’s not it at all. I promise, and you could see her head spinning with thoughts. She also seemed to relax. What should I do next? Dirty talk in bed? How? Help!
You may need to just continue to let it percolate in her mind for a while but a good next step is to maybe bring it up as you start to initiate foreplay and let her see your cock stiffen to talk of it. Put her hand on your cock and tell her to feel how much it turns you on.

Mine also flipped out, then we had a talk the next day, where I was able to explain "no I don't expect to fuck anyone, that's not the point" and why it turned me on. Then later that night, she had some questions, which led to my dick getting hard, her feeling it, then some hot sex.

"It" hasn't happened but she now likes to share fantasies about it when fucking, admits it really turns her on and we make little jokes when she goes out and such. I think I could probably make it a reality now if I really pushed for it but now I'm actually a little scared of how it might unfold. I think she would totally do it if it involved one of my friends that she totally denies thinking is hot but I know better. That could be really weird though as I feel a stranger would be much more comfortable for me. Just sharing fantasies is pretty fun for now though. I think maybe something could happen if we ever went away on a kid-free vacation.
 
Last edited:
Sep 20, 2022
22
22
3
Just keep up the pillow talk and maybe when she’s using the dildo, tell her it’s time to feel the real thing, even better if it’s near a weekend getaway or vacation. Your nearly there.

I hope you're right. I've taken out the fake cock when she gets really turned on and we pretend it is her lover. She asks for it! She's really been getting into the fantasy talk lately...but as often the case said it wouldn't happen, a solid no the next day. Maybe it was feeling too close to happening or I was pushing it at the wrong time. So, I said I would stop the cuckold talk, but then later when I mentioned it she said that she didn't mind. That it turning me on so much turned her on. The last two times, just in the past week, have been a lot more fantasy talk than normal.
 

werekinky2

Male
May 29, 2019
337
939
176
Appreciate the warning and feedback. I'm sure that it wouldn't be a good experience if she wasn't fully ready or felt tricked.

What did you do that put her over the edge to doing it?



Just started with trying to meet a guy for dinner and some drinks to see if she could vibe with someone else. And for her not to feel pressured about having to fuck someone
 
Sep 18, 2021
94
140
73
Cleveland
Guys! Finally grew my balls into convince the fantasy to my gf few months ago. So basically this is how it went.

We don’t live together so we often watch porn together. One day i select a vid and share the link the next day she does. i asked her shall we watch a porn video from a category we have not watched and listed few categories we haven’t tried and included cuckold in it. (We have accidentally watched a cuckold video before but never talked about it) she selected some other category. Then before going into the hub to find a vid i said i have something to tell her, and asked her if she remember we accidentally watched a cuckold vid. She asked whats cuckold and i explained. She said yes she remember watching it.

Then i said i enjoyed it so much, i watched the same vid again and i’ve watched few more cuckold vids. She asked “why didn’t i tell her?” And i got so excited. Then she asked “do you wanna do it in real life” and imagine the excitement i had. Stupid me just said “If you want to, i’m down to do it”.

First she thought i wanted to sleep with other women. I made it clear it has nothing to do with this. Then she was so worried, asking me why do i want to share her, how could i think of something like that, i never wanted a man who will share me and she went on and on and on and kind of turned into a fight.

Just for the sake of calming her down i said “no we usually show each other what we like to try through porn and since you’ve told me you are into brown and black guys (she had told me this a very long time ago) I thought you’d enjoy that, its not something i want to do its just I thought you wanted that since you told me you are into black guys blah blah and controlled the situation” so i’d just say i bottled it and never really had a proper conversation.

Since then I didn’t even bring up cuckolding but we watched 2 or 3 MFM videos. (Not recently) Again, my cuck thoughts are peaked to the highest. I really wanna talk about this and i need few ideas on how to initiate the conversation again. Like i know communication is the key i just need a solid and creative conversation starter to have the talk with her.

Anyone else has been in the same situation or anyone with new ideas please help a wannabe out! Thanks
My take is this:

Loads of guys everywhere share your interests, and many of them have as much ideas about how to proceed. In the vast majority of cases, it goes off as well as your experience.

This is a huge matter. It affects everything in your relationship. Even in best case scenarios, the way ahead can be arduous. It never fails to astonish me that so many guys think we can throw out a couple of ideas and expect it to come off without a hitch.

Resources such as books and blogs are available for reference. Respected websites such as Psychology Today address issues, problems and insights. The motifs they name can be studied in detail and from a variety of perspectives on that strange and wonderful thing, the internet.

I really wish that we men would do our homework BEFORE attempting to broach this with our wives and end up shooting ourselves in our own foot. Guys who have this experience owe it to themselves [to say naught of their wives] to show that they have given this at least SOME sober thought.

Before attempting this conversation guys, let’s ask ourselves how many blogs, books and articles, etc. have I read? What is the quality of those materials? For what audience are they writing — the chronic masturbaters, or people who are exploring sexual psychology, relational lifestyles, social dynamics, and more.

It seems to me that the more we educate ourselves, the more we reflect on female sexuality, what we know of our wives, and of the women IN her life, the more we reflect on strategy, the better we learn how to shape our presentation—the BETTER the likelihood that we WON’T be blown out of the water when we try to host that conversation.

https://wanthertocheat.com/your-husband-is-a-cuckold

https://wanthertocheat.com/your-hotwife-wants-savage-sex

https://wanthertocheat.com/twilight-secret-hotwife

https://wanthertocheat.com/queenbee-cuckold-hotwife

Willie: I truly hope you can rescue this your sadly blotched effort. I know you meant well. But learn to master your desire. Spend a year studying this. Read David J. Ley’s ‘Insatiable Wives.’

Come back to this when you’ve got the perspective, the mastery of issues and the conversational approach you need.

I wish you all the best!
 

jwf114

Male
Mar 31, 2022
290
431
81
My take is this:

Loads of guys everywhere share your interests, and many of them have as much ideas about how to proceed. In the vast majority of cases, it goes off as well as your experience.

This is a huge matter. It affects everything in your relationship. Even in best case scenarios, the way ahead can be arduous. It never fails to astonish me that so many guys think we can throw out a couple of ideas and expect it to come off without a hitch.

Resources such as books and blogs are available for reference. Respected websites such as Psychology Today address issues, problems and insights. The motifs they name can be studied in detail and from a variety of perspectives on that strange and wonderful thing, the internet.

I really wish that we men would do our homework BEFORE attempting to broach this with our wives and end up shooting ourselves in our own foot. Guys who have this experience owe it to themselves [to say naught of their wives] to show that they have given this at least SOME sober thought.

Before attempting this conversation guys, let’s ask ourselves how many blogs, books and articles, etc. have I read? What is the quality of those materials? For what audience are they writing — the chronic masturbaters, or people who are exploring sexual psychology, relational lifestyles, social dynamics, and more.

It seems to me that the more we educate ourselves, the more we reflect on female sexuality, what we know of our wives, and of the women IN her life, the more we reflect on strategy, the better we learn how to shape our presentation—the BETTER the likelihood that we WON’T be blown out of the water when we try to host that conversation.

https://wanthertocheat.com/your-husband-is-a-cuckold

https://wanthertocheat.com/your-hotwife-wants-savage-sex

https://wanthertocheat.com/twilight-secret-hotwife

https://wanthertocheat.com/queenbee-cuckold-hotwife

Willie: I truly hope you can rescue this your sadly blotched effort. I know you meant well. But learn to master your desire. Spend a year studying this. Read David J. Ley’s ‘Insatiable Wives.’

Come back to this when you’ve got the perspective, the mastery of issues and the conversational approach you need.

I wish you all the best!
Awesome links. Ive mostly given up but there is some good stuff in those articles. Maybe i should keep trying
 
Sep 18, 2021
94
140
73
Cleveland
I want to add another URL to those above:


This cuckoldress maintains a blog on the subject. The linked article ought to be required reading for every husband who desires more for his wife.

It includes a reading list [David Ley’s above mentioned work is the first title named]. Also addressed are communication styles, boundaries, goals within which consensual non-monogamy is framed, the role of emotions, the monogamy mindset, communication and more.

If we seriously care for our wives, we’re going to address all these issues and more. We need to take this seriously, learn all we can, and approach this with all the sensitivity and care we can muster. These are our wives we’re discussing. If you are not prepared to address such questions as what happens when her church friends castigate her as a whore, you’re not ready to proceed with this.

Take care and may your efforts meet with every success!
 
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