I think it’s a lost cause

[Anonymousrob84]

Hello all. I have been working at this for almost 2 years now and I think, although I’m not 100% sure, that it is a lost cause.
I keep getting conflicting feelings from the wife and so I’m confused. If you want to hear more, pm me and I’ll tell you are lengthy story so far. Maybe those of you who are experienced have some advice for me.

 

[WNY3somecple]

Best advice...talk to her not us

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

Hello all. I have been working at this for almost 2 years now and I think, although I’m not 100% sure, that it is a lost cause.
I keep getting conflicting feelings from the wife and so I’m confused. If you want to hear more, pm me and I’ll tell you are lengthy story so far. Maybe those of you who are experienced have some advice for me.

I’ve been working on this issue with my wife for a long time. She has opened her mind a bit but is still a pretty firm “no” yet. I agree with WNY… offers. Communicate. Best yet, not only pillow talk but other times when the “air isn’t sexually charged.”

 

[blackmann33]

It sucks but don't give up. I've seen posts from some saying they have been on a 10 year journey - hopefully it's not that long for you or for me. My wife is currently stuck on "I'm not that kind of girl," meaning that she views sleeping with men other than your husband as cheating or slutty. Only someone who doesn't respect or love their husband would do something like that in her opinion. It's not my opinion, because as I told her it's not cheating if it's consensual. My wife is very much the wholesome wife/mom of the year type, which is one reason why I love her so much. But I dont know how to break it other than to say "it's just sex." She is very kinky with me and we have great communication. We often tease about adding an extra for MFM. I've even told her I wouldn't mind her having sex with another guy but she is not there yet.

 

[Anonymousrob84]

Best advice...talk to her not us

I have been. For two years lol. What I was saying was that I keep getting mixed messages was all.

 

[Stretch2517]

Keep trying. Took us many years to get there.

Our opening was her agreement to go to a swingers club just to watch and see what goes on. We would just go to watch others and sometimes have sex in a corner somewhere. Once she got comfortable seeing others...she was able to imagine herself enjoying the pleasure.

 

[Anonymousrob84]

Keep trying. Took us many years to get there.

Our opening was her agreement to go to a swingers club just to watch and see what goes on. We would just go to watch others and sometimes have sex in a corner somewhere. Once she got comfortable seeing others...she was able to imagine herself enjoying the pleasure.

This is what I was thinking about trying. We need to work on her self image quite a bit before then.

 

[Adventurous 1]

Communication is a must. Listen and consider what she tells you. be supportive and caring for her concerns. if she doesn't want what you do then theres a good chance that it's not gonna happen. If however she is unsure and needs encouragement and support from you then you have some work to do. Most importantly is to be patient don't try to rush things . If she has low self esteem then you need to boost it. Buy her some sexy clothes and take her out, show her off and point out the attention she's getting. Tell her how desirable she is and that men are thinking naughty thoughts about her. Encourage her to flirt and enjoy the tension she generates. Ask her to imagine how exciting it would be for her to hook up with another man, It'll be like a first date all over again but without any restrictions. Tell her you want to see her enjoying another man and you won't be jealous or get upset, she should have no guilt or feelings of misgivings, it would excite you greatly. She would be fulfilling your fantasy and maybe one of hers too. Keep her thinking about sex with another man, stimulate her imagination, reinforce that its okay for her to indulge her sexual desires and explore her opportunities. Tell her she deserves to experience other men and what they have to offer sexually. No holding back, be bold and expand her boundaries. Think how its not just her pleasure but its both of yours. Remember not to put pressure on her or you'll ruin any chance you may have had. It's gonna take time and work. Keep her interest peaked and feed her curiosity. Constantly complement her on good she looks and how desirable she is. She must come to turns with herself and accept the idea of having sex with other men for it to happen.Keep reinforcing that she's desired buy other men and that she is special. Keep her thinking on how you both want the sex to happen so she should embrace the opportunity when it comes. When she's ready she'll tell you.

 

[Joecde3vfr4]

Hello all. I have been working at this for almost 2 years now and I think, although I’m not 100% sure, that it is a lost cause.
I keep getting conflicting feelings from the wife and so I’m confused. If you want to hear more, pm me and I’ll tell you are lengthy story so far. Maybe those of you who are experienced have some advice for me.

Sometimes this whole thing is a better Fantasy than it is a reality. My wife was in The lifestyle with her first husband before it even had a name or a fetish attached to it.

She says she is not interested in playing any longer because “someone always gets hurt.” She did leave her first husband for one of their Lovers and was with him for almost 5-years. She said the sex was amazing but there was no future for them.

I want to see my wife play, but I don’t want to loose her! Good luck to you both🍀

 

[Sharedwife16]

Simple advice...
Keep reminding her that she can, it will always be on her mind, then it's more than likely she will meet a guy she really likes, and knowing you want her to will hopefully be too tempting to not just do it.
It's a waiting game, patients is so important , keep reminding her ,but don't push her.

 

[Kneel2Zod]

Hello all. I have been working at this for almost 2 years now and I think, although I’m not 100% sure, that it is a lost cause.
I keep getting conflicting feelings from the wife and so I’m confused. If you want to hear more, pm me and I’ll tell you are lengthy story so far. Maybe those of you who are experienced have some advice for me.

I'd say don't give up all hope, as you never know if planets may fall into alignment so to speak unexpectedly. Being on the other side as a third, saw this phenom happen wit two separate couples on different occasions purely based on timing, mood what have you.

 

[Anonymousrob84]

I'd say don't give up all hope, as you never know if planets may fall into alignment so to speak unexpectedly. Being on the other side as a third, saw this phenom happen wit two separate couples on different occasions purely based on timing, mood what have you.

Yeah it finally happened about two years ago and it’s been awesome!

 

[coastalkid]

I have been. For two years lol. What I was saying was that I keep getting mixed messages was all.

Yeah it finally happened about two years ago and it’s been awesome!

Wow! What a difference two years has made for you. Are you still living the dream? How has your perspective changed, if it has?

 

[Ironmike]

It sucks but don't give up. I've seen posts from some saying they have been on a 10 year journey - hopefully it's not that long for you or for me. My wife is currently stuck on "I'm not that kind of girl," meaning that she views sleeping with men other than your husband as cheating or slutty. Only someone who doesn't respect or love their husband would do something like that in her opinion. It's not my opinion, because as I told her it's not cheating if it's consensual. My wife is very much the wholesome wife/mom of the year type, which is one reason why I love her so much. But I dont know how to break it other than to say "it's just sex." She is very kinky with me and we have great communication. We often tease about adding an extra for MFM. I've even told her I wouldn't mind her having sex with another guy but she is not there yet.

Ten years I’m on 4 it’s killing me joining this site killing me with the fact so many men have been lucky to have the woman they love get fucked

 

[Anonymousrob84]

Wow! What a difference two years has made for you. Are you still living the dream? How has your perspective changed, if it has?

Yea we are. We have had some great times. We have had some not so great times. We have grown in our interests and kinks. We took about a year off but we are back and our last encounter was crazy hot with us trying some ew things (first time playing alone, first time bareback, first time creampie). It was wild and continues to be so.