My girlfriend said "Probably not..."

Sep 19, 2022
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I'm in a relationship of 2.5 years and I love my girlfriend. We entertained the idea of a threesome with another girl early in our relationship and we both agreed to it but ultimately it went nowhere. I brought it up few months later and my girlfriend said she wasn't interested anymore and she doesn't like the thought of sharing me with anyone else. I appreciated her response and we left it at that.


Lately I've been intrigued by the idea of a MMF threesome so I brought it up today and my girlfriend said it hasn't been a fantasy of hers but it crossed her mind early on in the relationship and that she doesn't think about it anymore. I asked her if she wants us to explore this idea and she responded with "Probably not. I probably don't care about it enough and I also think it would make the relationship weird."

We left it at that. Any advice on how I can bring it up again? For some reason I don't feel comfortable saying to her it's my fantasy to have a MMF threesome lol
 
Start by asking about her fantasies. Let her start slow. She will probably start with very mild things and you need to be ok with that. Do not start jumping in with trying to get her to talk about your fantasies. Make it 100% about her.

Don't fake enthusiasm but react honestly to her answers. But not by saying that's boring or things like that. If it is something you would not like you can still be supportive of her sharing with you.

If she asks about yours, READ THE ROOM, if she shared she wants to have sex with you in front of roaring fire in a secluded cabin don't counter with "I want to see you ravaged by 20 black guys with giant cocks"

If she mentions sex with another person but mentions a famous person that's cool. Maybe another time ask her if she ever fantasized about someone she knew.

Also understand that for many people fantasies are just that. Not something they would actually do.

Overtime as you build trust and she feels safe she may begin to share other fantasies because she knows you will not react negatively.

Then you might be able to turn a conversation to well maybe we should try that. Or she might say that about your fantasy of an MFM.
 
Start by asking about her fantasies. Let her start slow. She will probably start with very mild things and you need to be ok with that. Do not start jumping in with trying to get her to talk about your fantasies. Make it 100% about her.

Don't fake enthusiasm but react honestly to her answers. But not by saying that's boring or things like that. If it is something you would not like you can still be supportive of her sharing with you.

If she asks about yours, READ THE ROOM, if she shared she wants to have sex with you in front of roaring fire in a secluded cabin don't counter with "I want to see you ravaged by 20 black guys with giant cocks"

If she mentions sex with another person but mentions a famous person that's cool. Maybe another time ask her if she ever fantasized about someone she knew.

Also understand that for many people fantasies are just that. Not something they would actually do.

Overtime as you build trust and she feels safe she may begin to share other fantasies because she knows you will not react negatively.

Then you might be able to turn a conversation to well maybe we should try that. Or she might say that about your fantasy of an MFM.
We've already had these conversations few times. We always share with each other what turns us on/off. I understand what you mean by a fantasy remaining a fantasy. I just feel like she would at least have a threesome once with another guy but I don't wanna come off pushy either. If she really doesn't want it then I'll happily drop it but the "probably" part to me sounds like the door could be open. I just don't know how to bring it up.
 
Start by asking about her fantasies. Let her start slow. She will probably start with very mild things and you need to be ok with that. Do not start jumping in with trying to get her to talk about your fantasies. Make it 100% about her.

Don't fake enthusiasm but react honestly to her answers. But not by saying that's boring or things like that. If it is something you would not like you can still be supportive of her sharing with you.

If she asks about yours, READ THE ROOM, if she shared she wants to have sex with you in front of roaring fire in a secluded cabin don't counter with "I want to see you ravaged by 20 black guys with giant cocks"

If she mentions sex with another person but mentions a famous person that's cool. Maybe another time ask her if she ever fantasized about someone she knew.

Also understand that for many people fantasies are just that. Not something they would actually do.

Overtime as you build trust and she feels safe she may begin to share other fantasies because she knows you will not react negatively.

Then you might be able to turn a conversation to well maybe we should try that. Or she might say that about your fantasy of an MFM.
That answer is just perfect. 100%

Guys usually confront their girls with that MMF, cuckold, Bukkake fantasies etc logically. A girl will not have any buying temperature and resist.

Start listening. Make it be her idea. Encourage her to open up about her fantasies. Ask her what celebrety she would love to elope with. What was her dirties dream at night she had when sleeping. Thats a great question as you cannot blame her. It was just a dream ;) Do roleplay. Do open communication about kinks that you have.
 
In my experience with women "I would never do that" means "probably not" while "probably not" means "I'm open to the idea."
So it seems like there is room explore this further but the best way to do it would probably be to start with subtle things to warm her up to the idea before outright discussing it again. On the other hand, it is also possible that by the time you discuss it again, she will have taken time to think about it more and decide she is firmly against it. Honestly though "probably not" seems like a better starting point than what most people get.

Also maybe just too early in your relationship.
 
In my experience with women "I would never do that" means "probably not" while "probably not" means "I'm open to the idea."
So it seems like there is room explore this further but the best way to do it would probably be to start with subtle things to warm her up to the idea before outright discussing it again. On the other hand, it is also possible that by the time you discuss it again, she will have taken time to think about it more and decide she is firmly against it. Honestly though "probably not" seems like a better starting point than what most people get.

Also maybe just too early in your relationship.
My gf is very to the point about stuff (so am I so we prefer being direct about everything) so if she was completely against it then I would've gotten a no the first time. I think the anxiety of not being able to go through the encounter stems from her never hooking up before. I'm going to bring it up again and be more direct this time and if she says no then I'll completely drop it. I really hope she has thought about it since the last time we spoke on it.
 
My gf is very to the point about stuff (so am I so we prefer being direct about everything) so if she was completely against it then I would've gotten a no the first time. I think the anxiety of not being able to go through the encounter stems from her never hooking up before. I'm going to bring it up again and be more direct this time and if she says no then I'll completely drop it. I really hope she has thought about it since the last time we spoke on it.
The other thing is, there is still some societal stigma against women who are too sexually free / engage in sex with multiple partners and this could make her very reticent to act out an MFM even if she finds the ideal of it sexually arousing. She may also fear your potential jealousy, even though you're the one bringing it up. Women tend to be wiser and more cautious than us when it comes to the workings of relationships. As was said above, building up a level of comfort and safety may help her feel more able to explore this type of fantasy.
 
The other thing is, there is still some societal stigma against women who are too sexually free / engage in sex with multiple partners and this could make her very reticent to act out an MFM even if she finds the ideal of it sexually arousing. She may also fear your potential jealousy, even though you're the one bringing it up. Women tend to be wiser and more cautious than us when it comes to the workings of relationships. As was said above, building up a level of comfort and safety may help her feel more able to explore this type of fantasy.
I agree about the comfort part. I also understand I don't need to rush anything. Maybe bringing it up again can have her start thinking about it
 
I'm in a relationship of 2.5 years and I love my girlfriend. We entertained the idea of a threesome with another girl early in our relationship and we both agreed to it but ultimately it went nowhere. I brought it up few months later and my girlfriend said she wasn't interested anymore and she doesn't like the thought of sharing me with anyone else. I appreciated her response and we left it at that.


Lately I've been intrigued by the idea of a MMF threesome so I brought it up today and my girlfriend said it hasn't been a fantasy of hers but it crossed her mind early on in the relationship and that she doesn't think about it anymore. I asked her if she wants us to explore this idea and she responded with "Probably not. I probably don't care about it enough and I also think it would make the relationship weird."

We left it at that. Any advice on how I can bring it up again? For some reason I don't feel comfortable saying to her it's my fantasy to have a MMF threesome lol
Women usually look for an ulterior motive when husband/bf brings up the subject but you can raise the subject in non threatening ways.
Invent and tell her about the wet dream you had last night which will be all about what you want to happen.
Her first question will be along the lines of, "How would you feel about me doing......?"
Let her work at extracting the stuff you want to say.
Another option is to invent a colleague, sport partner etc who, after too much booze, confided in you about his hotwife and what a turn-on it was..
Stress that you are not interested in outside pussy but would be ok with her going that road.
 
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Women usually look for an ulterior motive when husband/bf brings up the subject but you can raise the subject in non threatening ways.
Invent and tell her about the wet dream you had last night which will be all about what you want to happen.
Her first question will be along the lines of, "How would you feel about me doing......?"
Let her work at extracting the stuff you want to say.
Another option is to invent a colleague, sport partner etc who, after too much booze, confided in you about his hotwife and what a turn-on it was..
Stress that you are not interested in outside pussy but would be ok with her going that road.
Yeah that's a way I can bring it up. But knowing my gf she wouldn't really press me on the dream as much as I'd like. It would probably be couple questions and the convo would change.
 
My intuition says she's a keeper.
Maybe the "probably" door was left open because she would probably do most anything to make you happy if it was really important to you.
Not a good foundation for this life. One can't just be pleasing the other for the sake of keeping them happy

She outright said no to the FMF though... In my experience, if it was "I don't want to but I'd do it for you" she'd say something more directly like that. Although, even if she said exactly "I don't want to but I'd do it for you" I would strongly suspect she kind of wants to but is ashamed or uncomfortable admitting that to her partner. "Probably not" seems more like a "I'm unsure / don't want to seem too interested."

Even though I've cleared shown how hot I find it when my wife tells me about her break-up sex, she is still worried I'll reactive negatively and that maybe I'm baiting her into revealing stuff that will upset me lol... Everything progresses like "no... maybe... I don't really remember... okay so this what happened..." to her pussy being soaked and we're fucking.
 
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just take her out dancing. and let her dance with other men. then go home and talk about which ones she like the best. then maybe go out again run into the guy she likes. maybe things will work out
 
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