Need advice: Struggling with fantasy of seeing my wife with someone else

[tina41222009]

I’ve been struggling with something in my marriage and would love some perspective.

My wife and I are in our late 30s from India, and while our relationship is strong, I sometimes feel I’m not fully able to satisfy her in bed the way I’d like to. Lately, I’ve been having strong urges and fantasies about seeing her with another man — not in a purely voyeuristic way, but more from the desire to see her truly pleasured and enjoying herself.

I haven’t shared this openly with her yet, but in small ways I’ve tried to boost her confidence and get her more comfortable expressing her sensual side (asking her to dress sexily, encouraging us to go out more, etc.). In the past, there was a situation at a wedding where I noticed she could be open to attention, though it never went further. It was at my Brother-in-law's wedding where his Boss was showing a lot in intrest in her and i noticed that. So, I sidelined myself to see where things go. She was very cautious with how she behaves althought she did started liking him. I felt a weird kink grow inside me and started imagining him and her in intimate poses. Though, it stayed limited to a little soft flirting, some dancing together in cocktail party and some soft groping/hugging while dancing. One thing which I realised was that she too wants attention and intimacy and also wants attention. I do think that with right amount of push and a nice third, she might just go ahead with my fantacy.

What I really want is for this to feel organic and genuine — not something I’m forsing or pushing her into, but something she would actually want if the right opportunity and attraction were there. I’m nervous about how to even bring this up without making her feel pressured..

So my questions are:

• Am I doing the right thing by working behind the scens and making things happen?
• Also, should i work with the third and execute a plan without her knowledge and see if she takes the bait?
• Are there safe communities or apps where people explore this kind of lifestyle (if it ever got to that point)?

Any advice from people who have been through something similar — or just general wisdom — would be really appreciated.

 

[Stevens4fun]

Are there cultural restrictions or religious barriers that would inhibit an Indian wife? Please pardon my ignorance, we Americans are not real well versed in different cultures. That said, .....my favorite approach to open a sexy discussion: there's going to be a moment when you and your wife are in bed chatting as you begin to aroused one another. Maybe she's had a drink or two. Tactfully (don't forse the discussion, use that great personal charm of yours) share with her that you had a sex dream and woke up with a huge erection. No woman could resist asking you "what was it about?" Then you tell her how in your dream the guy (the man you said she was attracted to) invited the two of you to his hotel room for a drink and you had a threesome. You make it clear that what excited you the most was being in a more submissive role. Her responses will tell you if she's interested and if it's an open and positive response, let her take the lead. As this dream revelation of yours is coming out of nowhere it's important to let your wife know your marriage is secure, the dream was just highly arousing and seemed like it would be sexy and erotic fun.

 

[FilinaHotWife]

A common conundrum indeed. Best of luck, please update us how its going. Check fetlife.

Hinduism is SUPER conservative about sex, second only to Islam. Thailand the place where they can let loose. Bali too, but to a lesser degree as its a Hindu island (in a Muslim majority country loaded with taboos).

 

[robbiewillsucku]

start licking her pussy clean after you fuck her - on the 10th time while licking her pussy tell her that you are fantasizing that she fucked a man earlier in the day and you are licking his cum from her pussy.