Nervous potential first timer

[Pleasurecenter]

First off, my wife and I are late 30’s and have been together for over 10 years. We both had many partners before getting together. We now have three kids under 10 (one is only a year old). We are going thru all the struggles that come with that.

My wife is really hot but it’s tough to communicate with her. We have gotten much better after 10 years but we are still building trust and communication skills. We dabble with sex toys and at times she seems to love it but can be very hot and cold. I have brought up anal but it’s never been on the table. I watch porn which she dislikes. She has admitted to occasionally watching porn and she said she watches guys masturbate which was interesting and shows she is opening up more. I have sent her videos of me jerking off so she can masturbate to them but we haven’t discussed it more than her saying it was fuckin hot. She has started to send me some pics and stuff lately. We went on a long weekend/wedding getaway with no kids to a beautiful coastal town. We had some amazing sex over and over again. Every position nonstop (we are both in great shape). She was riding me and would hop off and suck me off which I love and she has never done to me. Inhibitions were totally down and we had a great time. We really reconnected and bonded. I got a vasectomy and each time she tells me to cum deep inside her. Still, she doesn’t really have orgasms. She says it feels really good but she just can’t get there. I am over 7” length and 5.5” girth if size has any impact.


On this vacation she brought up how she liked the one groomsmen bc he was a nice guy and how you could tell he must workout and run a lot. He is military reserve, works as a firefighter and is very outdoorsy. She really likes that type and this guy is taller than me. His wife was super nice and they have two kids. It turns out they dont live too far from us and we all exchanged numbers. We have been texting and he said multiple times that him and his wife are up for anything. I told my wife they might be swingers and she never responded or said anything.
During this vacation at some point someone was joking with her about a threesome and she said she would want to pick the person. This was interesting bc she hasn’t really discussed threesomes with me.
Earlier in the year I told her sometimes I jerked off to her being brought to orgasm from a guy with a big cock. She seemed totally turned off and we haven’t discussed it since. I was glad I told her and it was when we were sharing stuff with each other bc I would rather be open even if we never do anything about it.
I think she would be open to something but the kids make it really hard. I have read a lot about this and I have doubts she is going to communicate on the high level I will need to ensure we go into this comfortably.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

Communication, irrespective if it’s about ‘the lifestyle’ or other goals in life is critical. Make sure you can be honest and transparent enough with each other to really communicate!

 

[btweets]

Communication, communication, communication!! It sounds like you have an open opportunity in which to bring up the subject, when she had made the comment, ‘someone was joking with her about a threesome and she said’ “she would want to pick the person.” This is something that would give you a reason, during and at the perfect moment, to address the idea. After she’s had a few drinks, is horny and while you’re having sex are obviously the ideal conditions, to ask her if she remembers when she had said that, and that it actually excited you when she had said that, and that every time you think back to that, how much it really turns you on, and that whenever you imagine just how amazing it would be to see her receive so much pleasure, you can’t help but wonder if she was even the slightest bit serious, or is it something she might be willing to actually think about, role play, and that under the right circumstances, possibly maybe even trying it once. If she doesn’t show any interest, at the very least, try to get her to accept it as part of role playing or your fantasy.

 

[franklyn]

I know what your going through though we are a much older couple and our kids are all grown. My wife's first reaction was to ask why she didn't satisfy me anymore but nothing could be further from the truth. i have her at an I'll think about t right now and I guess that's better than a no

 

[Demented_Donny]

When people don't talk to you about something, but other people it means they don't feel it is a safe environment to discuss this topic with you. There are a number of reasons why, but it was probably something that you had done, not done, or said, that made them feel like this topic can't be discussed near you. it usually is because they think judgement will occur, anger, hurt feelings, or you will take it too far, and misinterpret.

 

[Pleasurecenter]

There is a site "the cuck life dot com" that talks about this. When people don't talk to you about something, but other people it means they don't feel it is a safe environment to discuss this topic with you. There are a number of reasons why, but it was probably something that you had done, not done, or said, that made them feel like this topic can't be discussed near you. it usually is because they think judgement will occur, anger, hurt feelings, or you will take it too far, and misinterpret.

I am sure you are right. Over ten years we have had our fights, issues and missteps. There has definitely been some jealousy.

mine of the things I noticed is that when I started thinking about this, probably 4 years ago, I noticed my jealousy receded.

 

[Pleasurecenter]

Communication, communication, communication!! It sounds like you have an open opportunity in which to bring up the subject, when she had made the comment, ‘someone was joking with her about a threesome and she said’ “she would want to pick the person.” This is something that would give you a reason, during and at the perfect moment, to address the idea. After she’s had a few drinks, is horny and while you’re having sex are obviously the ideal conditions, to ask her if she remembers when she had said that, and that it actually excited you when she had said that, and that every time you think back to that, how much it really turns you on, and that whenever you imagine just how amazing it would be to see her receive so much pleasure, you can’t help but wonder if she was even the slightest bit serious, or is it something she might be willing to actually think about, role play, and that under the right circumstances, possibly maybe even trying it once. If she doesn’t show any interest, at the very least, try to get her to accept it as part of role playing or your fantasy.

That’s great advice. Now I just have to be patient and wait for the right opportunity. I think that’s something I have been good at, waiting patiently for the right moments to advance the topic. I can see why in some cases this takes years.

 

[Pleasurecenter]

I know what your going through though we are a much older couple and our kids are all grown. My wife's first reaction was to ask why she didn't satisfy me anymore but nothing could be further from the truth. i have her at an I'll think about t right now and I guess that's better than a no

I completely agree. I love my wife and wouldn’t want anyone else. I honestly don’t think I would necessarily be into this if we had a better set life that allowed her to regularly orgasm. I mainly fantasize bc I want someone to help her orgasm. I kind of feel like she deserves that experience.

I also hope she could learn to orgasm with me maybe. She had 30 or so partners in the past and said she never really orgasmed. When I asked about dick sizes she said none really stood out as memorable. She mentioned one that was really small. She said a lot of the time she was super drunk. I was hoping she would tell me how some guy with a bigger duck made her cum but it didn’t happen.

I tried bringing home a cock sleeve and she was not into it at all. She tried it but I should have known not to try it bc she wants into it at all. She has a magnificent pussy that is tight and I can usually only get one finger in until she is warmed up but when she ovulates, I can use two fingers immediately and she opens up for me. I love when she opens up bc mentally it means she is turned on and hot.

 

[franklyn]

I completely agree. I love my wife and wouldn’t want anyone else. I honestly don’t think I would necessarily be into this if we had a better set life that allowed her to regularly orgasm. I mainly fantasize bc I want someone to help her orgasm. I kind of feel like she deserves that experience.

I also hope she could learn to orgasm with me maybe. She had 30 or so partners in the past and said she never really orgasmed. When I asked about dick sizes she said none really stood out as memorable. She mentioned one that was really small. She said a lot of the time she was super drunk. I was hoping she would tell me how some guy with a bigger duck made her cum but it didn’t happen.

I tried bringing home a cock sleeve and she was not into it at all. She tried it but I should have known not to try it bc she wants into it at all. She has a magnificent pussy that is tight and I can usually only get one finger in until she is warmed up but when she ovulates, I can use two fingers immediately and she opens up for me. I love when she opens up bc mentally it means she is turned on and hot.

My wife has been with me since High School and I’m the only man she’s had she was a virgin, that’s why I think she deserves something else

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

That’s great advice. Now I just have to be patient and wait for the right opportunity. I think that’s something I have been good at, waiting patiently for the right moments to advance the topic. I can see why in some cases this takes years.

You can take that opportunity now. Ask her about the time when she said she would want to pick the person. Tell her, “you know I would let you.” The start the discussion. Ask gentle questions that encourage more discussion.

 

[Pleasurecenter]

You can take that opportunity now. Ask her about the time when she said she would want to pick the person. Tell her, “you know I would let you.” The start the discussion. Ask gentle questions that encourage more discussion.

I should say that because as much as she is slowly coming into this, I am still myself ensuring a slow progression and making sure I am not making a mistake. Essentially this is the most important relationship in my life and I love her. I am responsible for leading us in a healthy manner.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

I should say that because as much as she is slowly coming into this, I am still myself ensuring a slow progression and making sure I am not making a mistake. Essentially this is the most important relationship in my life and I love her. I am responsible for leading us in a healthy manner.

..and communication is the key to making certain you “tend the marital garden.”