I desperately want to convince my girl to do things with other guys , it turns me on beyond belief , any tips or ideas on how to VERY subtly drop hints or make her think differently over time? all messages appreciated
Please help me ASAP
- Thread starter AspiringCuck
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Every women got different way. Some like attention, other money, love, or her partner is not satisfying her. So find what she lacks and need and she will try to find it with other guys. Ofcourse that doesnt mean to leave you but its a spice to your life.
Have you ever brought the idea up with her at all? You might be able to get in to just a conversation about turn ons and let her know her fucking other men is a bit of a kink of yours.
Like someone said just bring it up not in the bedroom but in a conversation. That's what I did we tried it and we liked it.
Hm, what was her reaction? That she just wasn't in to it? Maybe she thought you were just trying to get an excuse to cheat on her with another woman or something.
Ah, I see. That might be a tricky one to overcome. You could start demeaning yourself and say tell her you want to see her with a man that can physically give her what she needs.
that’s the issue yes , she’s quite angry sometimes and it’s made me very submissive towards her anyway so thinking that’s a good start , she dominates me in bed , makes me eat her pussy and forces my head down there , calls me a good boy and occasionally fingers my ass hole , any ideas what i could do during sex maybe?
Oh, that is a good start. When she gets dominant with you, start telling her she needs a man that's stronger/bigger/more well hung than you. Just moan it, "you wish I was bigger, don't you," and let her respond in kind.
Some women just aren't into the fetish we talk about in here, and never will be. You didn't give us much context in your post but I'd say that because your age and the status of your relationship with your girl is unclear: you may want to continue dating her as well as others. Because you've already talked to her about your needs and "it didn't go well," she's probably wondering about YOU as a candidate for a deeper relationship. I would guess that over the next few weeks she'll give you some better (and not so subtle) insight into her thoughts about bringing another man into your relationship. Listen carefully and encourage your girl to talk about her fantasies and her dreams and what she desires in your relationship.
The good news for you is that you are not married and can continue dating until you find the one girl who meets all of your needs. It would be tragic to lose a great girl or woman over this kind of stuff, but once we experience these kinds of desires they'll always be there.
No hints. No suggestions. No weird ideas.
Let me ask you this, AC: How well do you know her most erotic, secret fantasy? How well do you understand her exogenous zones, her favorite techniques, her favored type of man, her preferred interests on ... well ... everything? Do you know her turn offs as well as the turn ons? Can you tell us when she is the most sexually receptive? How well can you describe her sexual response? Favorite positions, techniques, etc.?
What is her idea of the ideal date, favorite meal, etc.? What would her most romantic weekend look like? Would that be a log cabin in the mountains? or a day in a hot-air balloon? A trip on a yacht? Or canoeing/kayaking ON the river? A hike by a river? If she could go anywhere on earth to go, what would it be? What is her favorite movie and why? Her favorite actor and why? How well do you actually know your wife?
The point here, AC, is that success or failure will turn very much on approach. And unless or until you can explain these things and more, You're not ready to move ahead. Why is that? Just this:
This has nothing to do with your fantasy. It has EVERYTHING to do with HER fantasy. If her favorite thing is art, you look for an artist who gives private lessons. If it is dance, you look a for a dance instructor. If it is photography, you look for a photographer. If nothing gets her heart pounding like the horse races, or the car races, or whatever -- you need to know that FIRST. THAT decides who you're going to work with her.
And you once you vet the guy, you pass along all her favorites on everything. Including the sex. Can you imagine what an advantage that gives him?
In other words, once you find the guy, you have to coach him for success. Not running through a list as I've presented them here -- but really talking with the guy. Over weeks. Months is better. He should have an extremely clear picture of her before they even meet. You should meet repeatedly to discuss everything. You should send texts when its safe. If it all comes together, you text him as she's on her way to meet him. You tell him what kind of day she's had, what frame of mind she was in when she left.
For the love of all that's holy -- don't use contractual language! This is a SEDUCTION, NOT a business proposition. Gazillions of guys with this fantasy think the way to go is, 'hey hon -- would you agree on principle to let some guy pork you?' Just wow! What class. What style.
Oh sure, honey ... I'm down for it!
Occasionally, I enjoy a good bowl of Fox and Hound pipe tobacco. But If guys really believe that is the way to go ... they must be smoking some TRULY legendary stuff.
Take care.
wow wow wow , excellent , thankyou so much for your detailed response , i will take all on board and apply accordingly
anyone got any other ideas , please throw them my way , i truly truly appreciate it
Probably because she thinks you see her as a whore and not your wife, you need to reassure her that she's your wife and that having sex with another guy is fetish you have and that it doesn't mean that you think less of her, also let her know it can be very pleasurable for both you and her.
Look, I was at that point too, wanting to convince my wife to do things that turned me on just by dropping hints. And yes, it works to test the waters, it is like planting seeds and hoping they will grow. I even thought about how to slip the idea in subtly, how to leave little clues to make her more open. I understand you, because the desperation to live those fantasies feels like fire in your head.
But here is what I learned over the years: if you do not create the right framework with your partner, any seed you try to plant dies before it even sprouts. It is like throwing seeds into the desert.
My wife is very conservative, very devout, very shy. If I had pressured her or played at manipulating her to change, I would have surely lost her or broken her inside. What I did instead was give her the absolute certainty that whatever she does in bed, she will never stop being my beloved wife. I repeated so many times that her sexual side does not fight with her everyday side, that she can be modest, and at the same time exciting and dirty with me.
That was the framework: safety, trust, unconditional love. With that ground ready, the seeds of fantasies did grow. Little by little she started accepting things I never would have imagined: photos, games, showing herself, even asking me for new things that came from her own interest. And notice, it was not because I convinced her, but because she felt that with me there was no risk of losing who she was.
This is how it works: first you build the ground, then you plant. And yes, it depends on both of you, but mostly on you, to prove with actions that you will never judge her. When that certainty enters her heart, fantasies grow on their own.
If you do not have that framework, no matter how exciting the idea you throw at her, it will always dry out under the sun of fear or guilt. But with the framework in place, even the wildest fantasies can take root. And then it is no longer about convincing her, it is about walking together, each one stretching a little into the other’s world. That is the real thrill.
But here is what I learned over the years: if you do not create the right framework with your partner, any seed you try to plant dies before it even sprouts. It is like throwing seeds into the desert.
My wife is very conservative, very devout, very shy. If I had pressured her or played at manipulating her to change, I would have surely lost her or broken her inside. What I did instead was give her the absolute certainty that whatever she does in bed, she will never stop being my beloved wife. I repeated so many times that her sexual side does not fight with her everyday side, that she can be modest, and at the same time exciting and dirty with me.
That was the framework: safety, trust, unconditional love. With that ground ready, the seeds of fantasies did grow. Little by little she started accepting things I never would have imagined: photos, games, showing herself, even asking me for new things that came from her own interest. And notice, it was not because I convinced her, but because she felt that with me there was no risk of losing who she was.
This is how it works: first you build the ground, then you plant. And yes, it depends on both of you, but mostly on you, to prove with actions that you will never judge her. When that certainty enters her heart, fantasies grow on their own.
If you do not have that framework, no matter how exciting the idea you throw at her, it will always dry out under the sun of fear or guilt. But with the framework in place, even the wildest fantasies can take root. And then it is no longer about convincing her, it is about walking together, each one stretching a little into the other’s world. That is the real thrill.
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I'll add this. You DON'T go asking for her favourite this or that. You LISTEN. You look for things that MATTER to her. She is not going to serve up her fantasies because you ask her. Do a search for the male actors women currently consider the 'hottest.' Remember their names. When you see one in a movie you are watching together. If she makes some comment about that being a good movie, you can mention the actor and maybe ask her about the role he played. So she tells you. You can say that some women were talking about favourite male actors. [It's no lie. And you didn't say you overheard it.]. So is he your type ... or someone else?
See what I did? She comments about the 'good movie,' and you get her talking about an actor and his role. Then you name some actors popular with the ladies. So who is the current icon for popular, lead male roles? Is that your pick, or is someone else more your type? Whoever she names, you've got a good lead. Now you search for 'why women find ______ attractive.' What you find is a halfway decent beginning toward 'her type of man.'
The takeaway here is that you never hint/suggest ideas as an unmitigated bolt from the blue. Once some conversation is going, Segway into this seamlessly. But know that this matters for the 'type' of guy you want for this. After that, wait a month [or two or three] before asking about something else. And plan that out just as carefully.
If you really want this, you're in it for the long haul. And you need to think with your head. I mean the one on your shoulders.
All those things I mentioned, start keeping mental notes. Build up a solid, mental profile on all this. Know her WELL. Then plan accordingly.
Take care, AC.