Questions

Hotw74

Male
Jun 18, 2020
12
162
68
Los Angeles
My wife has had 3 encounters with a gentlemen who is about 6 hours away. Each time I have setup the meetings and have been present during their fun. I have a lot of things going on and don't have the time to spend a weekend away from home so I ask my wife to go alone. She was very reluctant at first but recently has been excited about seeing him again. This gentlemen really makes her feel beautiful about herself and makes her orgasm multiple times in a hour or so. She says that she's not falling for him but the fact she's traveling alone to see him tells me different. This gentlemen has never once reached out to her ..... We initiate all communications. He has never offered to travel to see her. I can tell he is attracted to her but I think she might be more into him than he is into her. My question is ........ Do wives blame their husbands if they get their hearts broke by their boyfriends? After all this was my idea initially...
 
In our experience, my wife has only allowed herself to "fall in love" with one man and that was back in the early years of our lifestyle experience. The first few times we hooked up as an MFM threesome and the feelings were never an issue, it was good sex and his man had a large, thick cock that my wife thoroughly enjoyed. I was forced to realize that other men could outperform and give my wife more pleasure than I was ever able.

Roughly six months into the time they were hooking up, which was approximately two times a week, he invited my wife to go on a week-long vacation with him alone. My wife was not sure if it was the right choice but she decided to go and that is when she began to find an emotional connection outside of just the sexual relationship.

Over the following two years, my wife was with our friend more alone than with us being a threesome. They took trips and did a lot of things together. I would say the connection was equally precipitated between them. The guy had no emotional feelings or connection with my wife and only enjoyed the time they spent and the sex which was pretty intense. My wife allowed feelings to develop and when he moved on after meeting a single lady closer to his younger age, my wife was devastated.

She did not blame me or get mad at me, but she wanted nothing to do with the lifestyle after that experience for close to three months. Other than her boyfriend who has been living with us for almost ten years now, she is able to separate love from any emotion and she enjoys the sex but does not allow herself to develop deeper feelings.
 
My wife has had 3 encounters with a gentlemen who is about 6 hours away. Each time I have setup the meetings and have been present during their fun. I have a lot of things going on and don't have the time to spend a weekend away from home so I ask my wife to go alone. She was very reluctant at first but recently has been excited about seeing him again. This gentlemen really makes her feel beautiful about herself and makes her orgasm multiple times in a hour or so. She says that she's not falling for him but the fact she's traveling alone to see him tells me different. This gentlemen has never once reached out to her ..... We initiate all communications. He has never offered to travel to see her. I can tell he is attracted to her but I think she might be more into him than he is into her. My question is ........ Do wives blame their husbands if they get their hearts broke by their boyfriends? After all this was my idea initially...
Mine does.........there is one guy in particular that she fell HARD for emotionally long before they tried to start a sexual relationship. Once they started playing around sexually, he would always back down at the last second saying "what about CW?"....she finally got frustrated and told him that I knew about it and wanted her to do it........which was COMPLETELY the wrong thing to tell this guy and his fragile ego!! He wanted her to want HIM and be willing to cheat to have him........she STILL blames me for her not getting sexual with him beyond some touchy feely and (fish) kissing. She won't believe me that he's gay!! LOL

CW
 
My wife has had 3 encounters with a gentlemen who is about 6 hours away. Each time I have setup the meetings and have been present during their fun. I have a lot of things going on and don't have the time to spend a weekend away from home so I ask my wife to go alone. She was very reluctant at first but recently has been excited about seeing him again. This gentlemen really makes her feel beautiful about herself and makes her orgasm multiple times in a hour or so. She says that she's not falling for him but the fact she's traveling alone to see him tells me different. This gentlemen has never once reached out to her ..... We initiate all communications. He has never offered to travel to see her. I can tell he is attracted to her but I think she might be more into him than he is into her. My question is ........ Do wives blame their husbands if they get their hearts broke by their boyfriends? After all this was my idea initially...
the only oddity seems to be you lot forthcoming rather than him. Not even coming down once or offering isnt promising - a local genuine appreciator would be a greta replacement instead rather than over thinking the obvious
 
There’s probably no direct answer to your question. Whether a heart-broken wife might blame her husband is almost certainly a situationally distinct thing.

In the end, she’s ultimately responsible for her own emotions. If “blame,” in that the heart-break would never’ve occurred were it not for you, the husband leading her down this path is at hand, there’s lots of unwinding to do.

If the situation’s consensual, in that she wasn’t forced to have sex with another man, there’s shared responsibility.

You might look into the term “limerence.” It’s an oft-confused emotion state with marked similarities, and marked differences with “love.”

Your wife may be pursuing this man on the basis of limerence, not love. Personally, once I sorted this out, understood, and accepted it, things with my wife made much more sense.

From mild attraction, to infatuation, to full-on limerence, I find it extraordinarily hot that KK experiences this state, enjoys the chase, and satisfies her lust.

As to the emotional attachment, there’s complexity in risk in it all, but perhaps it's unavoidable. We used to avoid “repeat” or steady partners to mitigate that risk.

In the moment, KK has emotional attachments to five different men; me, her current “steady” boyfriend Andy, and three other men that she can’t see on a frequent basis because of distance.

I’m no longer bothered, other than perhaps an occasional twinge of jealousy, by my wife’s emotional connection to these men.
 
My wife has had 3 encounters with a gentlemen who is about 6 hours away. Each time I have setup the meetings and have been present during their fun. I have a lot of things going on and don't have the time to spend a weekend away from home so I ask my wife to go alone. She was very reluctant at first but recently has been excited about seeing him again. This gentlemen really makes her feel beautiful about herself and makes her orgasm multiple times in a hour or so. She says that she's not falling for him but the fact she's traveling alone to see him tells me different. This gentlemen has never once reached out to her ..... We initiate all communications. He has never offered to travel to see her. I can tell he is attracted to her but I think she might be more into him than he is into her. My question is ........ Do wives blame their husbands if they get their hearts broke by their boyfriends? After all this was my idea initially...
I can tell you from experience, that YES they do blame you!! Even if its a situation ... THEY initiated the relationship, and pursued it, and you simply approved and encouraged her......and I had NOTHING to do with either of the guys she had affairs with that ended "badly" in her eyes.
One of them never knew I was aware, he simply got cold feet because his wife was questioning him about all the overtime he was suddenly working and they stopped seeing each other. Was a friendly breakup, but she still thinks it was somehow my fault?
The other only became aware that I knew about her transgressions when she attempted to quell his supposed concerns about doing this "to me" and she, in desperation to become sexual with him, told him I was totally aware and fully supportive. That ended HIS interest and she does not understand that it ruined things for him when she admitted that she wasn't cheating on me wiht him. This started as an "emotional affair" (google it, mostly women have these) that SHE wanted to escalate to a full blown sexual affair.
She chased HIM aggressively, and when nothing much came of that, she asked for my help in making this happen. It was fun encouraging her to go after someone she wanted, helping her respond to his texts in an obviously encouraging manner and seeing how HOT she got when that worked (or appeared to), end WE had a lot of fun with her fantasizing that she was with him in bed together.......good lord!! I remember one time that was the single HOTTEST sex we have EVER had with her pretending she was with him, BEGGING him to fuck her, voicing her full intention to get pregnant asa result, and she was SO wet that her juices were literally POURING out, soaking both me and the bed and the SCREAMING orgasms she had!!........
Anyway, they never ended up consumating the affair (actual penis in vagina sex), most that happened was some fish kissing (he hated french kissing) and some groping thru their clothes, and shortly after he was pretty much forced to leave the company when his coke problems became VERY obvious and negatively effected his performance.

POINT to that is, to this day years later, she blames ME for it not working out between them.......I poiint out that this can ONLY be based on my simple existence as I was 100% encouraging of the relationship, and it was ONLY when she informed him that she wasn't cheating on me that he lost interest, which only serves to ******** her off and gets me banned from sex for a week+. SHE wanted this to happen, he wasn;t fully on board ever, SHE developed emotional feelings for him long before pursuing a sexual relationship, and I am the reason it didn't work out..mostly because I pointe dout IMMEDIATELY that it was a huge mistake to tell this guy she wasn't cheating and emplored her to go back and retract that and say she was only trying to get him in bed........she ignored that, and as I told her lost interest on their relationship.

Win a battle, lose a war........LOL

CW
 
I think this is where experience in this lifestyle helps.

My wife was very heart broken when her first bf moved on after he was with us almost 2 years. Although, she never blamed me. Since then, she has learned to keep her emotions in check.

If she has a bf that sticks around for a while, she will start to develop feeling for him. But, she has taught herself to keep in the back of her mind, that he will eventually move on.

We started in college and we are in our 50's now. So, we have been enjoying this lifestyle for over 30 years. It will play on your emotions at times. So, it's important to be pretty secure with yourself and anticipate changes.

My wife's current bf is almost 30 years younger than her, but very mature for his age. They have been seeing each other for over a year.

He is a young, muscular stud with a big dick that is a sexaholic, lol. He loves the uninhibited, unlimited sex he gets to have with my wife. She has developed feelings for him, but she knows he will, more than likely, move on some day. Until then, she will just continue to enjoy the multiple orgasms he gives her with his big dick and aggressive energy.
 
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So many forget:
1 - it's only sex
2 - always protect the primary relationship
3 - it's only sex
4 - do not get emotionally involved
5 - it's only sex
We enjoy mfm fun with a guy we know pretty regularly. We're mid 50s, he's 36. It's very obvious my wife LOVES sex with him but it's only sex. I can't begin to say how turned on she gets when he's with us, it's like she's a different woman the way she reacts to him when he's doing her. She's is horny as hell for a good week after he's been with us. She fucks the livin hell out of me for days after. He's younger, has a much bigger dick, they do everything in bed, she swallows his load, he fucks her butt, she cums with him like she never has with me, but she's never said anything about his dick size, how he's better, how she misses him. This has really sparked up our sex life. But it's just sex. It's a good gime.
 
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i gave my wife a hall pass back in 1968. it was a guy i was stationed with while on active duty. he spent a lot of time at the appt. whether i was there or not.

i never knew, until 4 years ago that she never used it.

because, our home towns were only about 150 miles apart.(western NY & NW Pa) . i tried to contact him with the thought that they could reconnect.

when i told her that he passed from lung cancer 15 years earlier, she cried for two days. i never knew she had feelings for him to that degree.

there was no blame to share. it was just feelings that grew out of a casual, non sexual, relationship. it was easy for her to develop feelings without a physical connection.

maybe i'm glad she didn't fuck him. who knows where we would have ended up.

consequently, she might have blamed herself for her emotional relationship out of some self imposed guilt.
 
Mine does.........there is one guy in particular that she fell HARD for emotionally long before they tried to start a sexual relationship. Once they started playing around sexually, he would always back down at the last second saying "what about CW?"....she finally got frustrated and told him that I knew about it and wanted her to do it........which was COMPLETELY the wrong thing to tell this guy and his fragile ego!! He wanted her to want HIM and be willing to cheat to have him........she STILL blames me for her not getting sexual with him beyond some touchy feely and (fish) kissing. She won't believe me that he's gay!! LOL

CW
Wow, tough experience.
 
I can tell you from experience, that YES they do blame you!! Even if its a situation ... THEY initiated the relationship, and pursued it, and you simply approved and encouraged her......and I had NOTHING to do with either of the guys she had affairs with that ended "badly" in her eyes.
One of them never knew I was aware, he simply got cold feet because his wife was questioning him about all the overtime he was suddenly working and they stopped seeing each other. Was a friendly breakup, but she still thinks it was somehow my fault?
The other only became aware that I knew about her transgressions when she attempted to quell his supposed concerns about doing this "to me" and she, in desperation to become sexual with him, told him I was totally aware and fully supportive. That ended HIS interest and she does not understand that it ruined things for him when she admitted that she wasn't cheating on me wiht him. This started as an "emotional affair" (google it, mostly women have these) that SHE wanted to escalate to a full blown sexual affair.
She chased HIM aggressively, and when nothing much came of that, she asked for my help in making this happen. It was fun encouraging her to go after someone she wanted, helping her respond to his texts in an obviously encouraging manner and seeing how HOT she got when that worked (or appeared to), end WE had a lot of fun with her fantasizing that she was with him in bed together.......good lord!! I remember one time that was the single HOTTEST sex we have EVER had with her pretending she was with him, BEGGING him to fuck her, voicing her full intention to get pregnant asa result, and she was SO wet that her juices were literally POURING out, soaking both me and the bed and the SCREAMING orgasms she had!!........
Anyway, they never ended up consumating the affair (actual penis in vagina sex), most that happened was some fish kissing (he hated french kissing) and some groping thru their clothes, and shortly after he was pretty much forced to leave the company when his coke problems became VERY obvious and negatively effected his performance.

POINT to that is, to this day years later, she blames ME for it not working out between them.......I poiint out that this can ONLY be based on my simple existence as I was 100% encouraging of the relationship, and it was ONLY when she informed him that she wasn't cheating on me that he lost interest, which only serves to ******** her off and gets me banned from sex for a week+. SHE wanted this to happen, he wasn;t fully on board ever, SHE developed emotional feelings for him long before pursuing a sexual relationship, and I am the reason it didn't work out..mostly because I pointe dout IMMEDIATELY that it was a huge mistake to tell this guy she wasn't cheating and emplored her to go back and retract that and say she was only trying to get him in bed........she ignored that, and as I told her lost interest on their relationship.

Win a battle, lose a war........LOL

CW
It’s difficult to understand that these men lose interest when they find out her husband is aware. This is crazy.

On the other hand I would think it’s the husbands job to support his wife emotionally no matter what.
 
That ended HIS interest and she does not understand that it ruined things for him when she admitted that she wasn't cheating on me wiht him.

This is probably much more common than many people realize. For many guys, a part of the thrill is to have a woman who is cheating on their husband. When these guys find out that the husband is fully on board with his wife's playing around, it takes a big part of the thrill away, and they will often move on.

It has happened to us on a few occasions.
 
Part of the married woman allure is that it's no strings attached. A hotwife comes attached to her husband even if he's not there. Also you expect a married woman on a "fling" to be clean, a hotwife not so much. You have no idea about who's gone before you.
 
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I remember the one night when me, my ex fiancé Robin and my friend, D were all partying together and were really fucked up. I don’t recall how or why it became a topic, but Robin began telling my buddy D that she loved him. They were standing and when she first said it, he started to freak out. He started walking away from her while she kept trying to grab a hold of him. She just kept saying it over and over, openly and right in front of me. He kept pacing around with his hands on his head and with this terrified look on his face. He kept saying, “I told you so, I knew this was going to happen” as was looking at me. My response and reply was with a smile on my face and telling him, “see, that’s what I love about her!” I was absolutely impressed by her honesty! Lol. I never felt betrayed or any anger towards either one of them whatsoever. Going back a ways, when D started hanging out with us, he was just an old friend of mine, and then he became our dealer. After telling him that she and I played, he was immediately interested and wanted her badly. I told him I wasn’t sure if she would be willing. D was black and she had never been with a black guy. Being that it is one of my all time favorite fantasies, I began talking to her about it. Little by little she went from no way, to maybe, to if the moment was right. I was now on a mission to make the moment right! He was well aware and just as motivated as I was. The one thing I specifically remember him telling me, that I really needed to think this through, and that there’s always a chance she might fall in love with him. He said that it had happened a time or two before, and he wanted to know if I was prepared for that. I told him that from the very first time we decided to play in this lifestyle, I was completely aware that there would always be a chance I could lose her to someone else. I’m also realistic enough to know that could happen anyway, in or outside the lifestyle, and that if that’s what she really wanted to do, I would never try to stop her! I don’t remember if it was that same night although it seems like it was, him and I were in the garage alone having a smoke. That night the 3 of us were drinking, smoking and doing coke, which thankfully always brings out the slut in Robin. Assessing how she was acting and talking, I could tell.. This was the night! This was going to be the night when Robin has her first BBC!! I’ve already shared the story on another post along with pics and video from that night. But the point was, if she wanted to be with someone else, I wasn’t going to try and stop her. I only ever asked her for one thing, and that was to just be completely honest and to please let me know if she had been with someone, and made it perfectly known and clear from the very beginning that I would never leave her for stepping out, but that I would for lying to me. I ended up catching her and D fucking on two different occasions, and I’m all but certain that they were together several other times as well. I caught her in too many lies and decided to break off the engagement and made her move out. We stayed in contact, over the phone, for a while afterwards until we just stopped. We had many conversations about the experiences we had together, and not once did she ever blame me for anything. Damn she was so much fun and I miss that! Lol.
 
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