sexual attraction question?

[newtothis34]

Hello all,

I have been chatting to my wife and others about this and trying to find some peace within myself.

OK so this is an example I have been chatting to my wife about and others who are not in the swinging scene and a mix of people, some who are older and prudish and all sorts and I have been given various answers.

So example is, last time I was at a very busy beach with my wife on a very hot day, naturally I was surrounded by a huge amount of very beautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barley visible and gstring/thongs bottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanely possible not to look too much and I certainly did not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossible not too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it.

Now the responses I have had from others from saying the above have been a range from:

"You are misogynistic about your attitude towards women"

"Ofcourse you did not have to feel sexual attraction to any of those women at the beach, you just have to have self control and just not look at any of them and if you did not to allow yourself to feel any sexual attraction"

"Well I am a man and I can assure you I would not feel any sexual attraction/arousal or any feeling of wanting to have sex with any naked or almost naked women at the beach, I would only feel sexual attraction after having a coffee and developing an emotional attachment first"

"You are just seeing women as objects to fulfil a sexual desire"

"As a woman, and I speak for most women, we simply have to have an emotional connect with a man before being able to experience any sexual attraction to a man"

I actually agree with the last statement as I think this is true for most women, some women however this is not the case with and non emotional sex is fine and some women are sexually attracted to a man on first sight, but in the minority I think.

So would anyone agree with me this is correct? I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli and I believe if most men were at a busy beach on a hot day surrounded by many good looking naked/almost naked women with thongs/g strings (or even somewhere else on a hot day surrounded by lots of good looking women in leggings and clothing showing off their breasts etc most men would be aroused sexually and it would be impossible to avoid unless the wore a blindfold. This is what I think is true and the amount of being treated like some kind of pathetic dirt for this being true for me and what I believe is true for most men, I think it is uncalled for. As I believe this is simply a biological fact for most men and is nothing to do with a man objectifying/sexualizing women at all, its the way most men are designed biologically. To say "ohh you can control it and not look" I think its impossible for most men, maybe some can do it, but for me I have tried to for years and it was impossible and think it probably is impossible for most men. Also I think alot of men refuse to admit to this fact as they know it will not make them popular to admit it to their wife or in society as they know they would be condemned for thinking this way and basically want to come across as "ohh what real gentleman, a perfect man" and basically virtual signal to people their so called greatness but are not man enough to admit it due to the reprisals they would get. I am sure some men could be a beach all day and not once feel sexual attraction to any of the naked/sexy women around them unless they enjoyed a cup of coffee and a chat and developed an emotional connect first but I doubt theres many. I think it takes guts in our society today to admit to this to be honest.

Please I hope I am not alone in my feelings on this?

 

[majorem]

"I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli" - I think the porn industry would back this up...

Why are you even worried about this? Men seem to fall roughly into two categories, from what I've observed. I've had friends who are not very focused on sex and I know some of my wife's friends are married to men who seemingly have little desire for sex. Then there are also many men like myself and I have a few similar friends, who are very sexually driven and think about it regularly. I mean, some people are overweight and other people are fitness freaks - there's all different kinds out there.

In terms of emotional connection or not - I've heard it suggested that evolutionary, pregnancy is a risk for women, making them more vulnerable as they carry and then try to provide for a baby. Forming an emotional connection with a male can improve the odds that they stick around help provide for them and the baby. It is also more important for a female to be selective in "mating" because they can only do so once (successfully) and then are pregnant / unable to become so again for at least 9 months or more. For a male, there is a benefit to helping stick around to ensure the survival of their children but they aren't out of the game carrying a baby for 9 months, so there is another potential strategy to impregnate as many women as possible.

I think maybe part of the reason bulls and cucks are a thing is that some males, to the advantage of living in a larger social group, are more submissive and willing to help be providers despite limited opportunity to procreate themselves.

I mean, who knows what the reality is but makes for interesting consideration.

 

[newtothis34]

Thanks for the reply, so helpful. I agree with them.
I mean all I said was that I was admiring women's beauty which is I think the same as feeling a natural sexual attraction to some women on first sight which is actually what I said to them. That was it, a few seconds of sight, no grouping, touching or anything else. So for this some women and men were saying things like "how disrespectful of you towards women and you are seeing them as sexual objects doing that, you are a disgrace!!!" Which I find their remarks are twisting something natural and normal into something vile which it is not. I am wondering also, do you think its the rise of women supremacy/feminism which has indoctrinated society, especially into collages and university's which have caused women and men to view men who find women sexually attractive at first sight as vile scum basically? turning something innocent, natural and normal into something shameful and hence casing men to supress there biological make up. Hence also causing men to also keep this to themselves and kind of virtue signal to the feminist agenda supporting women that they agree with them and they themselves do not find women sexually attractive unless they get to know them and devlope a emotional connection etc.

 

[majorem]

Not sure where you're from but I feel like at least in the US, other than some vocal minority in certain very liberal areas (thinking of the Pacific Northwest), people are still going to college, going out to bars, getting drunk and having one-night stands. Women of all ages seem to be dressing sexier than ever. Popular music by female artists is becoming more sexually explicit - Cardi B released "wet ass pussy" the other year lol... so uhh

I even live in the relatively liberal Northeast and I can't say I've encountered that sort of reaction.

I don't know who your friends but sounds like you need new friends. They sound pretty repressed and are either the type of pathetic male liberal zealots that try to virtue-signal their feminist support in desperate hopes of impressing a woman (where you know what they really hope for is to get laid lol) or you're at some sort of fanatical conservative bible camp. I try to stay away from either extreme of the political/social spectrum...

 

[newtothis34]

Not sure where you're from but I feel like at least in the US, other than some vocal minority in certain very liberal areas (thinking of the Pacific Northwest), people are still going to college, going out to bars, getting drunk and having one-night stands. Women of all ages seem to be dressing sexier than ever. Popular music by female artists is becoming more sexually explicit - Cardi B released "wet ass pussy" the other year lol... so uhh

I even live in the relatively liberal Northeast and I can't say I've encountered that sort of reaction.

I don't know who your friends but sounds like you need new friends. They sound pretty repressed and are either the type of pathetic male liberal zealots that try to virtue-signal their feminist support in desperate hopes of impressing a woman (where you know what they really hope for is to get laid lol) or you're at some sort of fanatical conservative bible camp. I try to stay away from either extreme of the political/social spectrum...

I am in the UK but I have noticed this same mindset from Americans also. Basically I was asking on some forums and got responses from Americans and British.
My question was this, "OK I am male and on a regular basis I see women who I find sexually attractive on first sight and upon feeling this, I would love to have sex with them, without even knowing them, especially if I am at a beach, I do not stare or make anyone uncomfortable or do anything inappropriate. I am wondering if anyone else feels this way?"

Well some responses from men and women were like this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of but some responses were calling me a dog, vile, degrading women, shameful, objectifying women, not normal.

I was actually really surprised, guess I was very naive. I was thinking people would just respond with yes I do or no I do not as need an emotional connection, but some responses, which were in a larger majority were comments like the above. I was really surprised.

One comment from a guy was this:

"You are saying only if they are showing flesh in your example at a beech. You are not saying is it ok to be sexually attracted to someone wearing a big thick onesie with a hat scarf and gloves on you are specifically saying when they are revealing parts of themselves. So you are objectifying woman who are revealing flesh. Can you not see someone and think ‘oh they look good’ without feeling sexually attracted to them - is that not a more ‘normal’ biological response rather then I want to have sex with that person because they are showing flesh???"

 

[Cuckcoupleforfun]

Enjoy the views. Don’t be creepy. Boom solved.

 

[Rough Diamond]

as a gender males are idol worshippers (so submit to worship), while generally women folk look for sexual spirituality before feeling horny
- So all good carry on perving and dont get caught

 

[JMNBABE]

WOmen dress to be looked at, but want to pick n choose who looks.......that doesn't work, and pervs will look. Nothing they can do, besides make a scene. If you dress to be seen, expect to be seen.
And all "normal" guys look..........

 

[ChiefMac]

People, male and female, are visually rating stimuli constantly. It's impossible not to.
Your assumptions about women's opinions concerning sexual attraction are wildly inaccurate.
On the one hand you talk about humans natural state, and then you twist it and confuse it with cultural and societal boundaries.
Read up on Bonobo monkeys, our closest link in the primate world. All they do is fuck and eat.

 

[Mauro]

Hello all,

I have been chatting to my wife and others about this and trying to find some peace within myself.

OK so this is an example I have been chatting to my wife about and others who are not in the swinging scene and a mix of people, some who are older and prudish and all sorts and I have been given various answers.

So example is, last time I was at a very busy beach with my wife on a very hot day, naturally I was surrounded by a huge amount of very beautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barley visible and gstring/thongs bottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanely possible not to look too much and I certainly did not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossible not too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it.

Now the responses I have had from others from saying the above have been a range from:

"You are misogynistic about your attitude towards women"

"Ofcourse you did not have to feel sexual attraction to any of those women at the beach, you just have to have self control and just not look at any of them and if you did not to allow yourself to feel any sexual attraction"

"Well I am a man and I can assure you I would not feel any sexual attraction/arousal or any feeling of wanting to have sex with any naked or almost naked women at the beach, I would only feel sexual attraction after having a coffee and developing an emotional attachment first"

"You are just seeing women as objects to fulfil a sexual desire"

"As a woman, and I speak for most women, we simply have to have an emotional connect with a man before being able to experience any sexual attraction to a man"

I actually agree with the last statement as I think this is true for most women, some women however this is not the case with and non emotional sex is fine and some women are sexually attracted to a man on first sight, but in the minority I think.

So would anyone agree with me this is correct? I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli and I believe if most men were at a busy beach on a hot day surrounded by many good looking naked/almost naked women with thongs/g strings (or even somewhere else on a hot day surrounded by lots of good looking women in leggings and clothing showing off their breasts etc most men would be aroused sexually and it would be impossible to avoid unless the wore a blindfold. This is what I think is true and the amount of being treated like some kind of pathetic dirt for this being true for me and what I believe is true for most men, I think it is uncalled for. As I believe this is simply a biological fact for most men and is nothing to do with a man objectifying/sexualizing women at all, its the way most men are designed biologically. To say "ohh you can control it and not look" I think its impossible for most men, maybe some can do it, but for me I have tried to for years and it was impossible and think it probably is impossible for most men. Also I think alot of men refuse to admit to this fact as they know it will not make them popular to admit it to their wife or in society as they know they would be condemned for thinking this way and basically want to come across as "ohh what real gentleman, a perfect man" and basically virtual signal to people their so called greatness but are not man enough to admit it due to the reprisals they would get. I am sure some men could be a beach all day and not once feel sexual attraction to any of the naked/sexy women around them unless they enjoyed a cup of coffee and a chat and developed an emotional connect first but I doubt theres many. I think it takes guts in our society today to admit to this to be honest.

Please I hope I am not alone in my feelings on this?

We men are visual creatures. The visual stimuli is extremely important. Misogynistic? I would say genetics.

I am a photographer. Many female photographers have asked me during a nudes shooting, “aren’t you aroused? My BF/husband would” my answer was always the same “no, when they’re in front of the camera, they are objects, and objects don’t arouse me”

Do I get aroused if I see a beautiful woman? Of course I do, sometimes, but it has nothing to do with being dressed or not. Is more about the face/expression of the woman what turns me on, the attitude is what makes her sexy to me, and obviously her looks too.

Could I have a sex with a woman that turns me on. The answer is yes
Could I have a relationship with a woman only based on her looks? Nope, I’ve tried, but. Ever worked.

I have female friends who only need the visual stimuli to have sex with a guy, but’s not for a relationship. I have female friends who can’t even kiss a guy if they don’t have a connection.

I guess is not a rule, but is certainly a trend.

 

[dickhurtz]

i am, first, attentive of a woman's looks. what seals the deal is not how big her tits are, or how round her ass is, it's what is between her ears.

i prefer smart women, with a personality, a sense of humor & a devilish sense of fun.

i, recently, had a relationship with a woman with a masters degree. she turned out to be one of the dumbest woman i have ever known.

 

[ChiefMac]

i am, first, attentive of a woman's looks. what seals the deal is not how big her tits are, or how round her ass is, it's what is between her ears.

i prefer smart women, with a personality, a sense of humor & a devilish sense of fun.

i, recently, had a relationship with a woman with a masters degree. she turned out to be one of the dumbest woman i have ever known.

Sex or relationship?
I have pretty high standards to women I let inside my circle of attachment. I have almost no standards when it comes to sex. Sometimes fucking repulsive women is it's own turn on.

 

[Flyingdick]

i am, first, attentive of a woman's looks. what seals the deal is not how big her tits are, or how round her ass is, it's what is between her ears.

i prefer smart women, with a personality, a sense of humor & a devilish sense of fun.

i, recently, had a relationship with a woman with a masters degree. she turned out to be one of the dumbest woman i have ever known.

I’m the same way!! I like them to be smart and a great sense of humor. Being a little dumb is a huge turnoff to me.

 

[DaddytoPenny]

Nothing wrong with checking out the view but you gotta be cool about it. It's like looking at the Sun. You can't stare directly at it, you've just gotta have a general awareness that's its there in your periphery. Failing that get some mirrored sunglasses!

As for those claiming misogyny, I call bullshit. A guy walking around that same beach with a toned body and a 12 inch cock is going to be getting a shit load of female attention. It's just that the ladies are far better at hiding it!

 

[dickhurtz]

Sex or relationship?
I have pretty high standards to women I let inside my circle of attachment. I have almost no standards when it comes to sex. Sometimes fucking repulsive women is it's own turn on.

if it works for you, have at it.

 

[biHubbyLove]

I mean no disrespect to anyone engaged in this conversation but all of this analysis and mind-wrestling over something as simple as being attracted to someone because you find them, um, "attractive" is simply neurotic. Be happy you have a libido, be happy you are alive and find people attractive. If anyone questions your motives or values for feeling something as natural and G-d given as enjoying your life in that way, then why bother listening to them?

 

[Loridan]

Early 50s couple here. My example is cruise ships. We do 2-3 cruises a year. Women in swimsuits all day at the pool. Some good looking, some not so. Most ships have a topless deck, there might be 20-30 people...if there's 30, 15 are women without guys, others might be 8 couples. All the women are topless, again some good looking, a few not...all good. I'd never be there without my wife. We're a friendly couple, easy to chat with others. Been several times we befriend another couple, wives are topless, we're chatting, drinking, relaxing....all good. Later at dinner, wives in dresses, we'd see the couple, have a drink, chat then go our separate ways. It is friggin HOT for me visiting with them, all I can think about is her tits. Might be weird but I like it.
More....seeing a woman with halter top tan lines drives me wild...