So going from a "traditional" marriage with someone who presumably hadn't been with anyone before we got married to an alternative sexual lifestyle is confusing. Is it more successful to move toward a "hotwife" lifestyle where she flirts and engages by herself potentially with other men more successful than moving toward a "cuckold" situation where she has her husband along to provide support and safety with a new sexual partner?
We've been married for several decades and enjoy a very stable emotional relationship. We had a very active sexual life at the beginning of our relationship, but as work, house, pets, and children got in the way, and physical abilities started deteriorating, it has tapered off. Since we're getting along in age, somethings just aren't capable of happening as they did during our "earlier days" (primarily for the male). So we talk about how to expand our abilities moving forward so that the wife enjoys these days from a sexual aspect. She says that if it "happens naturally", she wouldn't say "No", but is not the type to flirt with every guy that comes along. Even when we go to the movies, she isn't really impressed with the bodies on the screen except for the likes of Tom Selleck (younger one) or latest Daniel Craig. When we go out, she never (says) sees anyone that gets her juices going. (I think there actually were a couple (only), but she won't for some reason admit it.) So she's quite "picky".
She goes travelling for her work and has known for years I'm fully supporting of her exploring during her travels. I've even packed condoms in her luggage. She says she never sees anyone that even interests her. This is quick confusing since I know she was very interested in sex before she met me. I asked if she wants to go together (or even by herself) to an adult store to pick out one or more "toys" to enjoy, but she says the new showerheads I installed are doing the job quite well for her. (Did I shoot myself in the foot?)
We went to Hedo a couple years ago and she actually says she wants to go back. We stayed in the "au natural" area and spent time naked on the beach, but didn't get involved with the "swap" activities. One gentleman did approach us, but she "wasn't interested". (Oh, we did socially hang out with another couple, but again she wasn't interested - an neither was I quite frankly.) We did have a nice time in the hot tub the last night of our stay and ran into a very engaging European couple, but since we had to catch the early flight out the next morning, we couldn't stay with them. (Damn they didn't come a couple days earlier, but such is Life.) I'd gladly drop the bucks to go back if that would get her exploring more, but quite frankly I'd rather do something more local (lower cost) in that direction before making that commitment again. Don't believe in throwing good money after bad.
Maybe in the next month when we spend a weekend in NYC, we'll be able to drop into one of the sex clubs there and see if anything happens. But it seems that you have to prearrange something like that. (So frustrating. We were just in Toronto, but didn't have the time actually to drop into one of the clubs up there unfortunately. You can just walk in and they actually serve alcohol like a regular bar there. Canadians are so "civilized". Too concentrated on the film festival going on though.) Maybe if she gets into a "mood" (which is the only way she opens up about anything), something might happen sooner. In any event, some ideas on what might be going on might be interesting.
Thanks.
We've been married for several decades and enjoy a very stable emotional relationship. We had a very active sexual life at the beginning of our relationship, but as work, house, pets, and children got in the way, and physical abilities started deteriorating, it has tapered off. Since we're getting along in age, somethings just aren't capable of happening as they did during our "earlier days" (primarily for the male). So we talk about how to expand our abilities moving forward so that the wife enjoys these days from a sexual aspect. She says that if it "happens naturally", she wouldn't say "No", but is not the type to flirt with every guy that comes along. Even when we go to the movies, she isn't really impressed with the bodies on the screen except for the likes of Tom Selleck (younger one) or latest Daniel Craig. When we go out, she never (says) sees anyone that gets her juices going. (I think there actually were a couple (only), but she won't for some reason admit it.) So she's quite "picky".
She goes travelling for her work and has known for years I'm fully supporting of her exploring during her travels. I've even packed condoms in her luggage. She says she never sees anyone that even interests her. This is quick confusing since I know she was very interested in sex before she met me. I asked if she wants to go together (or even by herself) to an adult store to pick out one or more "toys" to enjoy, but she says the new showerheads I installed are doing the job quite well for her. (Did I shoot myself in the foot?)
We went to Hedo a couple years ago and she actually says she wants to go back. We stayed in the "au natural" area and spent time naked on the beach, but didn't get involved with the "swap" activities. One gentleman did approach us, but she "wasn't interested". (Oh, we did socially hang out with another couple, but again she wasn't interested - an neither was I quite frankly.) We did have a nice time in the hot tub the last night of our stay and ran into a very engaging European couple, but since we had to catch the early flight out the next morning, we couldn't stay with them. (Damn they didn't come a couple days earlier, but such is Life.) I'd gladly drop the bucks to go back if that would get her exploring more, but quite frankly I'd rather do something more local (lower cost) in that direction before making that commitment again. Don't believe in throwing good money after bad.
Maybe in the next month when we spend a weekend in NYC, we'll be able to drop into one of the sex clubs there and see if anything happens. But it seems that you have to prearrange something like that. (So frustrating. We were just in Toronto, but didn't have the time actually to drop into one of the clubs up there unfortunately. You can just walk in and they actually serve alcohol like a regular bar there. Canadians are so "civilized". Too concentrated on the film festival going on though.) Maybe if she gets into a "mood" (which is the only way she opens up about anything), something might happen sooner. In any event, some ideas on what might be going on might be interesting.
Thanks.
