I know and I’m thinking that more and more as this ...... unfolds . She never has my back either and never agrees with anything much I say - it all runs seemingly opposites to her . This all started when one night as we were fucking her and she sort of nervous laughed - I asked what was up and she said she couldn’t feel me up her - now I’ve done a power of shsggibg and have been told quite a few times I have a big cock / good cock so it was her that had a slack puss . Anyhoo thinking of her pleasure this set me on the road to finding her a bigger cock to pleasure her . I should have just thought of my own self and it’s steadily gone downhill from there . Thought I was marrying a slut since she told me quite proudly about fucking her boss and sisters guy but as the years go on she’s just getting more prudish , more vanilla and more narcissistic towards me .
Am I right ??
- Thread starter Snoopsissy
- Start date
I think you have a decision to make ,go or stay,
Or find her the biggest cock on the planet to fuck her and see how she feels then,👍🤣
Maybe you should just "replace" the toys with larger toys. Leave it in the box where she left the ones you "replaced". She'll know you know and if she really can't help herself she'll use them. I guess eventually she'd take to being better at hiding her toys but all the same she'd know you know.
Oh yeah man! The inconsistencies is the the mind boggler to me and have been since I've been on this and another forum. Something that is similar in my particular case as yours is the "pervert" label. My wife knows I watch porn. She doesn't like watching it and tolerates my watching it. We tried watching it together and it just didn't work.
I've gotten to the habit of mentioning every time after we have sex, "Wow! That was fun! SO MUCH BETTER THAN MASTURBATING!" I think she's beginning to understand that I'd rather have sex with her than to masturbate to porn. We've been having sex more frequently than ever before. We had sex three times a week two weeks in a row. Not bad for a pair of 66 year olds.
She's even relaxed her attitude about "dirty talk" while in bed? I asked her to talk dirty some while we were having sex to keep me excited. Before, when the "pervert" label was firmly in place she couldn't let her head go there. Now that has changed and she has gone from tame vanilla to stuff that surprises me. That may not seem like much to most here but for me it has been significant and rewarding. I'll take things getting better over the alternative.
I'm serious, you should replace those toys! Do it, at a minimum you'll be entertained with whatever outcome. What will she do?
Congrats looks like you might at least have partially cracked her code and hope it continues for you both . In my case I just can’t find a way to get my wife to relax or soften up in her attitudes to sex and sexual stuff . She loves her vibrators and they’re sex toys right so again her double standards are eye opening . But seems like I’m a pervert for liking things which she frowns upon / won’t discuss or attempt to try at least once unless it’s only to further her ‘label’ of me but will use those because ‘she ‘ likes them . Anyway I would like to wish you and your family a happy Xmas and health and prosperity in the new year 😀
I don’t think you can go any bigger on vibrators than ones she has - maybe your thinking of dildos? . I’ve tried a cock sleeve but not with great success and she won’t try dildos ? , even though she says she can’t feel me in her unless it’s doggy . Again she never asks for doggy ?? . Got her a sex machine to try that - she used it sort of grudgingly a couple of times - said yes I think I would cum with that but it’s been sitting in the garage for over a year !!! I just do t get her one bit
Update on the situation - I think she is cheating as every time she is away doing something she is away for hours at a time - sex is still non existant - I’m employing the same attitude as she is as tired of always being the cuddler , always making the first move , always suggesting maybe a vibrator play time . So now she is experiencing what it’s like to be living with her . Also she never leaves her phone around , has changed her password on I pad - and last night was supposed to be away with one of her sons looking at things for his house ( recently split from his girl ) and in his own home now . She messaged him and usually he sends back something that just says - ——— loved your message . Anyway we were in the car and her phone pinged like a WhatsApp tone and she opened it for a second and looked saying oh that will be ——— saying he loved the message - but I looked for a a split second and definitely saw A proper message there but not enough time to see the sender name / number . Then totally uncharacteristically of her when we got in the house she placed her phone screen down obviously so I couldn’t get a look at the screen or sender as she hadn’t replied obviously . Again today she’s away getting something she’s ordered but not taken our car and probably again be away for some time . It all fucking stinks and just wish she’d be honest - she knows I’d be ok with it but think deep down she thinks I’m just saying that so she will do it and I’ll use that in a divorce . She has that mindset as that’s exactly what she would do . She had me make and place a profile looking for another guy to fuck her - answering all relevant questions to make it - age / build etc etc only to go ballistic as she was seeing just how far I would go with it . You know when you see stuff and you think - there’s something happening - then you doubt yourself for thinking that but your 90% right but just can’t get that other 10% - you just can’t join that last piece - thsts where I’ve been for quite a while now . If I ask her why she changed her I pad password she will probably gaslight me yet again with some bullcrap . She thinks she is always ahead of me and can’t be found out ! . Again if I sort of hint at something and basically leave the door open to tell me something is going on and reassure her yet again if she’s honest I’ll be ok with it but she won’t come clean I know it . I think she is maybe hooking up with her ex and maybe has been for a while now . It’s the deceit and going behind my back I can’t stand and as usual everything will be my fault anyway . . She won’t go to couples counselling as there’s nothing wrong with her - I’m the one that needs counselling - she recently caught me wanking and furiously said - why would you want to do that - a married man your disgusting etc etc - I replied well if you would give me sex I wouldn’t need to wank . She said I should have spoken to her and said I need more sex , you’d think as as a married woman who was giving your man sex every once every 2-3 months and he ALWAYS has to initiate that he must be wanking himself into the quick as he’s not getting it from me . Last proper blowjob was about 6-7 months ago . If I said I need more sex she’d see it even more as a fucking duty rather than - ...... I’m failing my man and need to open my legs more . I asked her is there anything I can do or say maybe dirty talk when your using your vibrator , maybe an ex or an incident from your past - she used to get fucked by her boss / sisters fiancé / work colleague - something / someone from your present - agsin doors open to tell me - or something/ someone from your future - maybe a fantasy or someone in mind - but again what a dirty bastard - that’s what I get for wanting to make her sex time even better / kinkier etc etc . I told her it would only remain in the bedroom but - NOTHING- only more spite
She doesn't sound like she cares about you. She doesn't want to go to counseling. She doesn't want to do anything but hide her true feelings from you. She's clearly communicating with someone she wants to hide from you. She calls you "disgusting". She places blame on you for not asking for sex and at the same time she "acts out of a sense of duty" rather than enjoyment. She thinks she's always "ahead of you" and can't be caught.
Eventually she is going to be caught. She's overly confident and eventually that will be her undoing. She'll let her guard down thinking she has you left in the dark. In the meantime spitefulness and resentment is building between the two of you. Has she said ANYTHING about wanting to stay with you? Do you really see a future with her?
Thanks for your as always appreciated comments and views - no she’s never mentioned anything - nothing I do ever receives even by a tiny bit and even grudgingly one iota of thanks or praise . She is and always has been to some extent or another a very cold / uncompassionate / unfeeling person and have told her a few times she has a very blinkered view on things and I firmly believe that’s due to her husband of 27 years just walking out on her and her kids ( another woman - probably she was giving her husband what my wife wasn’t then too - good dirty sex ) . I keep hoping she’s going to change but doubt that very much , she is very bitter and constantly mentions her ex husband which on the other hand I never mention my exes . She goes to bed early and is on her I pad before I come to bed , she hints early on that she is tired just in case I get my hopes up so I’m playing at her game and just don’t bother any more . All other aspects of being a married woman she is great at , cooking / housework etc etc ,but her time of being this uncaring sexless cold person is drawing to a close And once I make my decision there will be NO going back . It’s pointless to try and have a discussion with her as I have always been / will be the root cause of any / all problems within this relationship .
Latest update - 3 weekends in a row I’ve been ‘home alone ‘ - messaged me today when at work - that she’s going shopping . We messaged about 3-4 times - each time straight back with reply - I said I’ll come shopping with you if you like ? . Then there was a couple of minutes break - then no it’s fine you can do your bike ( track motorbike ) . I thought the delay was odd - maybe she had to message and say to cancel . Anyhoo she was waiting on me coming in ?!! - not especially dolled up ( maybe dressing down on purpose ? ) but nice lipstick on . That was 5hrs ago and not a message / call anything . Sex between us is still non existent and I asked her is there anything I could do to make sex ( if we ever have it again ) better in any way - to help her have the best possible orgasms / sex I can - again fucking shot down - - your always wanting me to do more ( I wasn’t ) - what we do is never enough etc etc - guys it’s been a year since I had a blowjob that lasted more than 1 minute . I’ll make a point anyway of checking her panties tonight as she has always told me she always goes bareback . She scuttles of to bed before me with her I pad that recently has a changed password on it now and has taken her phone instead sometimes - this whole relationship and her recent actions stink of cheating / someone else - just wish she could tell me as she knows I want to share her - maybe it’s who she could be seeing that’s the issue there ? ( long story ) . So I’m still being deaf / dumb / blind husband - again sorry for the novel but it’s not easy to put across in 8 words lol
It sounds like she's playing a game that will ultimately end badly. She'll become more and more cavalier and it will progress to being foolhardy. Eventually she will become so confident that she won't feel the need to be cautious and indifferent to trying to hide it from you. She simply won't care that you've caught her in multiple lies and misrepresentations.
Maybe I'm wrong but I get the sense that eventually this will all come to a tipping point. Either she will become tired of hiding it, or you will become tired of her deception. If you confront her without any real proof of her deception she'll simply deny it like usual. You need some real proof to let her know that you know what's going on. Get yourself some evidence before you do anything. She boasts about your inability to "catch" her. Prove her wrong! Her password change is a good place to start in my mind. Maybe without warning tell her you feel like she's been hiding things and you want the password to her iPad. Press her for her reason for changing it. Press her to explain her 3 weekends in a row. It's time for you to either step up the pressure or accept that you will be neglected and used for ONLY her security.
She's made herself clear on her attitude and behavior and she doesn't sound like she'll change. You need to shake her up somehow. Try to accompany her everywhere. Tell her that you don't care about your hobbies and you want to focus on being with her. Don't give her a free moment to make her clandestine plans. Keep up the pressure until she cracks or gives herself away. Prove her wrong about her ability to hide things from you.
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