Am I selfish??

Fuckingoverit

Female
May 20, 2022
11
11
3
A little bit of background hubby and I have done 3 ways together in the past. He has told me afterwards his constructive criticism that could have made it better. To me it felt like I was being told I was not good enough. Fast forward to now. We have kids I usually play on my own. We originally came up with meeting guys on dating apps and I am cheating. I would sound record what was going on when I met these guys so he could hear. Some even took video. The sound was never good enough, I would sent on my way home so he could listen while I was driving home and be ready to fuck me. Instead I would get phone calls of how I ruined everything again. I would be driving home literally feeling like a piece of shit then come home to him yelling at me home I don't do anything right and I am selfish. Now he wants different scenarios and I am like I don't know how to do this and he's like find a way. He says look on Twitter and see what he is into idk wtf that means? Everything I go he fights with me? And he says I am sfish that I do what I want. I don't need this in my life is it fun yes but I don't need it. I would be perfectly happy with my husband but he says he needs this in his life. Please help me.
 

Fuckingoverit

Female
May 20, 2022
11
11
3
You are not selfish at all. This doesn’t work for everyone and requires good communication and flexibility for all. It sounds like he wants a puppet vs a hotwife. I suggest sitting down and sharing your concerns and see what it would take to satisfy both of your needs!
That's what I keep saying to him. He says I do it when I want how I want and who I want. And me doing it is selfish but then on the next note he says I need u to do it. I get off on it. Like wtf am I suppose to thibk about it?? I'm very just confused and feel like no matter what I do he's not happy. I don't fuck the guys for him I do it for myself is what he says. I'm just lost in what to do.
 

Teddy Long

Male
Feb 11, 2022
315
184
58
I think he got what he wanted and now he doesn’t know what to do with it. If he’s not happy with what you’re doing, stop. Make him go out and find someone and you criticize his “skills”
 

Teddy Long

Male
Feb 11, 2022
315
184
58
That's what I keep saying to him. He says I do it when I want how I want and who I want. And me doing it is selfish but then on the next note he says I need u to do it. I get off on it. Like wtf am I suppose to thibk about it?? I'm very just confused and feel like no matter what I do he's not happy. I don't fuck the guys for him I do it for myself is what he says. I'm just lost in what to do.
Why do you do it? For him or for your own pleasure?
 

Fuckingoverit

Female
May 20, 2022
11
11
3
Why do you do it? For him or for your own pleasure?
I really do it because he wants it. I mean of course it's fun and I enjoy it but I am not the type who needs to do it all the time. He needs me to sex talk him all day. I have to create scenarios for him all day. If I don't engage in his mental game then I am selfish. If I talk to other guys like he says he needs me to then I am ignoring him. I always feel Luke I am in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.
 

Fuckingoverit

Female
May 20, 2022
11
11
3
I really do it because he wants it. I mean of course it's fun and I enjoy it but I am not the type who needs to do it all the time. He needs me to sex talk him all day. I have to create scenarios for him all day. If I don't engage in his mental game then I am selfish. If I talk to other guys like he says he needs me to then I am ignoring him. I always feel Luke I am in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.
The videos I do he is like they r not good enough I don't make them to please him. Idk what that means I am literally there fucking these guys to please him.
 

Teddy Long

Male
Feb 11, 2022
315
184
58
I really do it because he wants it. I mean of course it's fun and I enjoy it but I am not the type who needs to do it all the time. He needs me to sex talk him all day. I have to create scenarios for him all day. If I don't engage in his mental game then I am selfish. If I talk to other guys like he says he needs me to then I am ignoring him. I always feel Luke I am in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.
Then this sounds like a him problem. If you want another cock, then go for it. If he doesn’t like it, tough shit. It’s about your pleasure not his. If he wants to control the situation, he needs to get his own girlfriend or boyfriend.
 

Teddy Long

Male
Feb 11, 2022
315
184
58
The videos I do he is like they r not good enough I don't make them to please him. Idk what that means I am literally there fucking these guys to please him.
If you want to send the videos to me, I’d be happy to give you my opinion on them. I’ll be an impartial third party.
 
Nov 12, 2020
319
904
133
Northeast Iowa, USA
I would tell him that if he wants you to continue doing this, it has to work for both of you. My sexy wife plays with others but does so within boundaries that we both agreed to. However, she picks who she fucks, when she fucks, and how she fucks. I have asked her to at least tell me about her experiences and any pics or videos are greatly appreciated. It took a while before she felt comfortable taking pics or videos but is now happy to do this whenever her partner agrees.

I do not get to tell her what she needs to do for me to be happy. We have had some difficulties as we got into the lifestyle, but are both committed to finding a solution that works for both of us. I want my wife to be thrilled with her fuck buddies and do not feel insecure if a guy is bigger or lasts longer than me. Instead, I focus on what I do well when pleasuring my wife and she is amazing at taking care of my needs.

Our main rules are safe play and that as long as she gets whatever sex and variety she needs, she needs to make sure she saves plenty for me. (I do not play with others). It’s pretty simple for us because we do our best to not make it more difficult than it needs to be.

I wish you the best of luck as you work through everything with your hubby!
 

jwf114

Male
Mar 31, 2022
286
422
81
The videos I do he is like they r not good enough I don't make them to please him. Idk what that means I am literally there fucking these guys to please him.
I would love for my wife to be willing to try to do the things you are doing for him. Dont let him drag you down with his negativity. Good luck and i hope things get better for you.
 

WNY3somecple

Couple
Mar 28, 2021
845
1,652
183
A little bit of background hubby and I have done 3 ways together in the past. He has told me afterwards his constructive criticism that could have made it better. To me it felt like I was being told I was not good enough. Fast forward to now. We have kids I usually play on my own. We originally came up with meeting guys on dating apps and I am cheating. I would sound record what was going on when I met these guys so he could hear. Some even took video. The sound was never good enough, I would sent on my way home so he could listen while I was driving home and be ready to fuck me. Instead I would get phone calls of how I ruined everything again. I would be driving home literally feeling like a piece of shit then come home to him yelling at me home I don't do anything right and I am selfish. Now he wants different scenarios and I am like I don't know how to do this and he's like find a way. He says look on Twitter and see what he is into idk wtf that means? Everything I go he fights with me? And he says I am sfish that I do what I want. I don't need this in my life is it fun yes but I don't need it. I would be perfectly happy with my husband but he says he needs this in his life. Please help me.
As a husband let me say he is being a complete selfish jerk. All he cares about is his fantasy fulfillment not your enjoyment. The key to successfully being in this sort of lifestyle is communication and he is failing that with a big fat F.

Don't do this for him. Do it only if it is what you want also , what you both want. Everytime I see a couple where one is only into it for the other it does not go well.


My advice is to stop unless you are finding it fun. Tell him until he starts communicating and more importantly listening to you that the issue is closed. There are counselors who specialize in lifestyle couples in a nonjudgmental way maybe that can help.

But first and foremost he needs to give up porn
 

Fuckingoverit

Female
May 20, 2022
11
11
3
I would tell him that if he wants you to continue doing this, it has to work for both of you. My sexy wife plays with others but does so within boundaries that we both agreed to. However, she picks who she fucks, when she fucks, and how she fucks. I have asked her to at least tell me about her experiences and any pics or videos are greatly appreciated. It took a while before she felt comfortable taking pics or videos but is now happy to do this whenever her partner agrees.

I do not get to tell her what she needs to do for me to be happy. We have had some difficulties as we got into the lifestyle, but are both committed to finding a solution that works for both of us. I want my wife to be thrilled with her fuck buddies and do not feel insecure if a guy is bigger or lasts longer than me. Instead, I focus on what I do well when pleasuring my wife and she is amazing at taking care of my needs.

Our main rules are safe play and that as long as she gets whatever sex and variety she needs, she needs to make sure she saves plenty for me. (I do not play with others). It’s pretty simple for us because we do our best to not make it more difficult than it needs to be.

I wish you the best of luck as you work through everything with your hubby!
Thank you very much. This is what I thought the lifestyle was like. When he came to me about it I did look into it a lot and it has turned more into he's never happy with me. But I thought this was suppose to be fun. He gets so mad at me so easily I have a hard time expressing my feelings and tell him what my experience was like. As soon as it's not what he wants to hear he is mad! If a scenario doesn't play out how he wanted I'm a bitch and I'm selfish and I went there just to fuck. Like this is not what this is suppose to be about.
 
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Fuckingoverit

Female
May 20, 2022
11
11
3
As a husband let me say he is being a complete selfish jerk. All he cares about is his fantasy fulfillment not your enjoyment. The key to successfully being in this sort of lifestyle is communication and he is failing that with a big fat F.

Don't do this for him. Do it only if it is what you want also , what you both want. Everytime I see a couple where one is only into it for the other it does not go well.


My advice is to stop unless you are finding it fun. Tell him until he starts communicating and more importantly listening to you that the issue is closed. There are counselors who specialize in lifestyle couples in a nonjudgmental way maybe that can help.

But first and foremost he needs to give up porn
Omg I told him that last night that he lives in a unrealistic sex world because he watches porn at least 3 hrs a day!
 
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Nov 12, 2020
319
904
133
Northeast Iowa, USA
Thank you very much. This is what I thought the lifestyle was like. When he came to me about it I did look into it a lot and it has turned more into he's never happy with me. But I thought this was suppose to be fun. He gets so mad at me so easily I have a hard time expressing my feelings and tell him what my experience was like. As soon as it's not what he wants to hear he is mad! If a scenario doesn't play out how he wanted I'm a bitch and I'm selfish and I went there just to fuck. Like this is not what this is suppose to be about.
First off, thank you for trying to please your hubby! There are so many guys on this site who can only dream about having a wife willing to fuck other men for their pleasure.

Second, your husband isn’t ready for this just yet. There was some really good advice above to hit the pause button and focus on communication with your husband. If I’m being totally honest, it doesn’t seem like he is interested in finding common ground. Unless he can articulate exactly what he is looking for and you agree to do it, this seems like a disaster at best.

Third, it can take time for guys to work through jealousy. I had my moments early on but now have no issues except for a strong desire to reclaim my wife when she is away playing. Once she is home, I dive right in and do my best to please her until I erupt in pleasure myself. Getting through the jealousy took time, and a lot of conversation on what went well and what didn’t. We talk after each date to make sure we both know what we enjoyed and what we didn’t. I suggest making that a ground rule for you and your hubby! If he cannot discuss concerns with you without getting angry or insulting you, it will be very hard to make progress. It really sounds like you would try your best to please him.

You are awesome! Your hubby is very lucky to have you. He needs to do better!
 
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