Are men groomed for this lifestyle?

[nancy52]

yes i was by my sister in laws boy friend

 

[coastalkid]

yes i was by my sister in laws boy friend

Just out of curiosity, do you feel different about yourself now? Is it everything you hoped it would be? Any regrets at all?

 

[calicolombia69]

yes i was by my sister in laws boy friend

Can you elaborate? Was this just an affair or did she groom you in any way?

 

[calicolombia69]

I was also groomed in a way, by an in-law of the next generation to mine. Each time I explictly type out who it was, the system redacts the nouns out. They are all adults so why the censorship?

I noticed she was slowly changing her demeanour toward me. She used to be distant and suddenly became quite friendly and close. I thought it was nice. But then I thought I noticed a mix of flirtations which included an overt display of cleavage, ass while bending over precisely when I was in the room and discussions of her body and lady parts.

Was she grooming me for what came next? Was I suppose to say STOP to what could be construed as simply family friendliness? I say grooming or manipulating because soon, she was asking me how a blouse looked on her? I replied in a polite manner that it suited her. She indicated she was wearing a push up bra which was a way of saying "look at my cleavage" Similar thing happened on day she strode in with leggins. Asked me if they werent too sheer, as she stretched out in front of me. She knew she was teasing me also. Yet I felt that if I gave her a cold answer, I would hurt her feelings or "shut her out". The final sign was when we were both left alone in the house during the mornings and she would stride down in a tanktop and braless and sit next to me to have long conversations while I worked from home on my computer.

Was that grooming for the eventual affair we had?

 

[nancy52]

Can you elaborate? Was this just an affair or did she groom you in any way?

it was her bf we started trading pictures of the girls then he put my hand on his cock and told me to wack him off he took my pic doing it then the next time he told me to put on my wifes bra and panties or he may show her the pictures i did it and he started kissing me as he kissed me he told me he had been seeing my wife

 

[Dublinmale]

I was also brought up to respect women and as a teenager never was aggressive towards girls for sex was almost 18 when I lost my virginity. That was to a very promiscuous women of 20, who wanted my cherry.
I ate a lot of my girlfriends out and didn’t get to fuck them, mostly get a wank off of them. Any woman I fucked it was their idea not mine. I now know I ate a lot of cream pie but I was young and thought they just so wet from being horny!
My mom was also very dominant and would use corporal punishment on me. Up until my late teens, I had room beside them and would hear them fucking. My dad fucked other women as well and I think I internalised that as doubling down on my respect for women.
My wife was super aggressive sexually when we met and she was fucking other guys even before we got married and didn’t change much after we married. Until more recently when she went off sex completely.

 

[jsaltydog]

I was also brought up to respect women and as a teenager never was aggressive towards girls for sex was almost 18 when I lost my virginity. That was to a very promiscuous women of 20, who wanted my cherry.
I ate a lot of my girlfriends out and didn’t get to fuck them, mostly get a wank off of them. Any woman I fucked it was their idea not mine. I now know I ate a lot of cream pie but I was young and thought they just so wet from being horny!
My mom was also very dominant and would use corporal punishment on me. Up until my late teens, I had room beside them and would hear them fucking. My dad fucked other women as well and I think I internalised that as doubling down on my respect for women.
My wife was super aggressive sexually when we met and she was fucking other guys even before we got married and didn’t change much after we married. Until more recently when she went off sex completely.

I had a similar upbringing. My father didn't live with us. I was the only male in the house dominated by my ......, grandmother and aunt. They made sex seem like a crime against women. So, I assumed that I should not push women about sex. Since there was no sex in the house, I didn't learn about it. I didn't lose my virginity until I was nearly 21 to a gal that seduced me, but with whom I had little interest. It was not a good relationship.

I always had difficulty hooking up with women since I lacked the aggressive streak and didn't know how to read their non-verbal signals. When I did hook up, I always concentrated on giving them oral. Their sexual pleasure was always more important than my own. I suppose that was another result of living in a home dominated by women. I wanted to sexually serve the women.

A key point is that I feel most comfortable with women who are sluts. That is why I wish that I had remained married to my first wife, who cheated and loved sex in every possible way. For a guy who had repressed sexual feelings, having a slut wife assured me that it was all right to view women as sexual partners and to be more assertive about seeking sex. The so-called "good girls" always made me feel that I should restrain myself. I think that one of the factors making cuckolding and the hot-wife lifestyle desirable is that less experienced and less aggressive men like me can see that a woman, a wife, enjoys and desires lots of sex. It is a green light for guys like me to pursue sex with them.

 

[jsaltydog]

I have been reflecting on my sexual history and how I transitioned from a relatively shy and naive teenager to a very open minded 50+ husband. Looking back, it certainly appears that my history has all but groomed me for where I am today.

Back in high school, I was very innocent and believed that the best way to gain a girl’s respect was to avoid being too aggressive with my sexual desires. I would joke around a lot, but never made the move. As a result, I had many opportunities to date and a fair amount of light play, but never had sex in high school. My eyes opened in college and I increased my pursuit of a young lady to have fun with vs. looking for a serious relationship. It wasn’t long before I met a gal a couple years younger than me, but far more experienced sexually. She was more than happy teaching me everything I needed to know. She was my first and we dated off and on through college. While, I did date several other young ladies while we were on breaks, I never had sex with any of them. My college girlfriend most definitely slept with other men both while we were on breaks as well as while we were dating. I caught her cheating several times which is why we had many breaks. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier in college. However, I was thrilled with the endless chase to win her back. After college, I quickly wised up and let her go. I do wonder how she would have taken to being a hotwife.

After college, I was single and dating for about a year. Again, while I am a kinky fella on the inside, I have always been very respectful and somewhat shy around women. When I met my first wife, she absolutely made the first move. And she was relentless in her pursuit of me. I was a bit caught off guard, but enjoyed this hot little milf. She was 27, had already been married twice and had three kids. One from her first marriage and two from her second. After two marriages, she learned that chasing bad boys wasn’t getting her where she needed to go. I guess I was the nice young man she was looking for. She was also experienced in the bedroom and used her prowess to win me over. She knew how to fuck and was very good at using her body to get what she wanted. She didn’t hide it from me that she had been this way since high school. She was far more experienced than my first girlfriend and had I ever offered to share her, she would have jumped at the chance. I have no proof, but expect she wasn’t just enjoying my cock during the 9 years we dated and were married. At some point after marriage, she just quit trying in every way and had no interest in changing until I moved out and filed for divorce. Then, she instantly turned on her sexual ways and tried her best to win me back. However, after years of neglect, I could ... my future with her.

The next year, I was mainly single again, but would casually date women from time to time. Again, zero fucking other women for sport, but always heavy flirting. I had numerous opportunities during this time, but I was not wired to have sex without anything beyond physical attraction. Also, After a pretty rough ending to my marriage, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. Then, when I wasn’t looking, along comes my current wife. We met through a mutual friend, who was desperately trying to fuck her, and she quickly decided she was into me more than him. Knowing he was interested in her, I shut down her advances for several months. It was only when my friend and my future wife conspired to set us up on a date that I finally relented. In my mind, it wasn’t even supposed to be a date, it was supposed to be the three of us going out for drinks. That turned into a double date when his girlfriend decided to join us. By that point, it was too late to back out. When my future wife showed up for our first date, she looked amazing. I was 32 and had this hot little 22 year old smokeshow clearly into me. Our first date went very well and after several drinks at the bar, she asked if she could stay the night. How could I say no? She stayed the night and gave me numerous reasons to meet up with her again. Not unlike my previous two partners, this young lady was more experienced at 22 than I was at 32. (And by a very large margin). We talked openly about our pasts and she explained that she didn’t lose her virginity until she was 18, but enjoyed sex so much she got as much as she could from 18 to 20 until she met a bad boy who claimed he was infertile due to a car accident and didn’t need to wear condoms. Yup, she got pregnant and he left. Being a single mom slowed her down for a little bit, but by the time we met, she was very comfortable being a soccer mom by day and minx at night. She wasn’t looking for a baby daddy when we met, but she fell in love with me almost immediately. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so it took me a while to be willing to agree to a serious relationship. Once I accepted that I lover her as much as she loved me, it wasn’t long before we were married and had two more children together and I adopted our oldest ....... Since day, my wife has been sexually adventurous. She did fuck a few other guys while we were figuring out if we were dating or not. I also fully expect she has pleasured a few men during the first ten years of our marriage without my knowledge. I have asked, but she claims she was faithful until we agreed for her to be a hotwife. For the past 8 years, she has had my support to play with other men and she has enjoyed the opportunity. She doesn’t have an exact count, but estimates she fucked around 50 men before marriage. We have kept track and she has added 30 more men since marriage. Meanwhile, my lifetime body count sits at three. Two women that I married and one college girlfriend of four years.

I am definitely a Type A person and have achieved everything I set out to in life. I also have a kinky side and while I never pursued promiscuous women, each of my lovers has been promiscuous. I suppose that’s likely because I essentially required the ladies to make the big move and promiscuous women are far more likely to do that. Ironically, I have turned down far more women than I have slept with, even though I was very attracted to the majority of the women I didn’t ...... with. It is really just now becoming interesting to me to fuck for sport in my early 50s and after watching my wife fuck for sport. The main thing stopping me now is that my wife is very jealous and isn’t comfortable sharing me. It was never a quid pro quo situation when we agreed for her to start playing. Both are mutually exclusive decisions. I am interested in variety after 18 years of monogamous sex.

My question for others is: Do you think it was just a matter of time before my stag tendencies came to light, or is it the environment of only dating promiscuous women that opened my eyes and mind to this? And how do other stag’s experiences compare to mine?

You and I have similar experiences. We should chat privately.