Cuckold angst...


Oct 27, 2017
Just a little about me, I'm a 44 yr old white bisexual male. My fiancee is 38 and also white.
We got into the cuckolding lifestyle pretty quickly. It was her idea, and her fantasy totally. To have her fucking go other guys while I watch.
So, I quickly became a Cuckold. Watching my woman suck, fuck and get fucked by other men.
Let me first of all say, that I was for it. I had watched hot wife and cuckold porn before.
I'm bi, I'm into dick myself. I love the creampies. I like to watch. I really do. I love watching her. We have done it multiple times. Always with me watching. She even got into black guys and BBC and we went almost entirely interracial. Very hot to watch.
We had rules initially. Like no kissing of members of the opposite sex. Well... That went out the window pretty quickly when she wanted to kiss with a black guy. Then it became all the men she was with. I get it. It's more passionate. Makes things more hot. I mean, they are fucking her bareback. So I get it. She loves me. I even asked her to marry me last December.
I have cheated on her a couple times, with men. I guess I shouldn't say cheated, she's semi cool With it. It turns her on.
In a few weeks she is going on a business trip alone. And im fairly certain she's going to get fucked. She just told me a few days ago her job wants her to go out of town for about 5 days. And she's already emailing a couple guys. Part of me loves the fact that she's a slut, and loves sex so much and loves the variety.
A couple things here. That im aware of, while we have been together, she has never been with other men without me there. That was apart of it that she was always into me watching.
I know it's partly. You fault and partly wouldn't matter. I have had some issues going on that have made me less....sexual, let's say. I haven't really been interested in sex past few month.
We haven't even talked about it. I haven't touched her or anything. Part of. Me tells myself "well.... Lol. What the fuck you think a highly sexual woman is going to do?, dipshit".
And another part of me wants to know. I want to have the conversation with her. I'm just afraid to. I want to have the conversation with her and tell her if she has sex with other guys and I'm not present, I want to know. I want her to tell me about it. And of course, there is a other part of me that's totally freaked out about my woman being gone alone with another guy. I don't know why. I mean, I've seen her with dozens of other men. She loves it. So why am I jealous?

I'm conflicted. After this work day I'm going to be on vacation for a week. All next week. I even got some viagra, and although we won't be playing with anyone else this weekend, due to having kids home, I would like to, just me and her, have some fun. And then a to her bout it. I know I can't make up for months of being impotent, or whatever, but still......

  • Like
Reactions: Piar77