Is it possible to feel excited about being a cuckold to my wife when in all other areas of our marriage and my life I tend to be anything but submissive? It feels like a disconnect for me and actually for her. She doesn't want to see me as weak in life--and doesn't yet--but the cuckold (especially with higher emphasis on humiliation) seems to align better with some form of an overall submissive position in life. I'm sure others will tell me why that's wrong, and I welcome that because I feel the conflict but know I'm not generally submissive or like being subject to ridicule in life.Yet there is no denying I get turned on by cuckolding.
Cuckold only in Sex?
- Thread starter chuckrock
- Start date
ntcuck
Couple
Well Chuck, I am gonna cut you some slack from my perspective. If I were weak and submissive in our everyday life I know Mrs Ntcuck would be disappointed and lose all respect for me. She wants me to be strong and opinionated. BUT when it comes to having her boytoy in the bedroom she likes to have me switch gears and be submissive to her desires. Many times I am made to sit and watch as they kiss, cuddle, suck, fuck, and leave me to clean up the mess he made inside or on her. So YES it may seem to be a disconnect in some ways but I look at it as a vacation from the reality of every day life and play in the happy fantasy world for a few hours.
It only seems like a disconnect if you assume that our psychologies and sexualities are ALWAYS in synch. They're not. lsmentor.com had a great free article about this.
Pick your lingo: Dom/sub, Top/bottom, Alpha/beta, etc.
Think of it as two parallel lines or spectrums, one above the other: On the far left "Dominant" Psychology and "Top" sexuality. On the far right "submissive" psychology and "bottom" sexuality. Straight down the middle "Switch": Could go either way. I'll use the labels "Dom/sub" to contrast the extremes on the emotional & psychological spectrum and the labels "Top/bottom" for the extremes on the physical/sexual spectrum.
Everyone's psychological/emotional needs will fall somewhere on the "Dom/sub" spectum. Their physical/sexual needs will fall somewhere on the "Top/bottom" spectrum.
It's perfectly natural to have a "Dominant" psychology and be in control professionally, personally and generally lead in your friendships and relationship yet have a "bottom" sexuality and prefer to follow in the bedroom.(i.e. all the stories about high power NYC bankers who see their Dominatrix on their lunch hour)
It's also perfectly natural to have a "submissive" psychology where you prefer to be part of a team rather than lead it yet "Top" in the bedroom and lead sexually.
The possible combos are as varied people. Dom/Top, Dom/bottom, sub/Top, sub/bottom, Dom/Switch, etc, etc. You get the idea.
It's good to discuss this with your wife. Explore where you each maybe on each of the spectrums. My fiance and I occupy the same spot on the "Top" sexuality spectrum. Knowing that has helped us so our needs are not competing. However when I'm stressed at work i become much more sexually submissive to her though nothing else in my psychology changes. When the stress goes away it normalizes and levels back out.
Pick your lingo: Dom/sub, Top/bottom, Alpha/beta, etc.
Think of it as two parallel lines or spectrums, one above the other: On the far left "Dominant" Psychology and "Top" sexuality. On the far right "submissive" psychology and "bottom" sexuality. Straight down the middle "Switch": Could go either way. I'll use the labels "Dom/sub" to contrast the extremes on the emotional & psychological spectrum and the labels "Top/bottom" for the extremes on the physical/sexual spectrum.
Everyone's psychological/emotional needs will fall somewhere on the "Dom/sub" spectum. Their physical/sexual needs will fall somewhere on the "Top/bottom" spectrum.
It's perfectly natural to have a "Dominant" psychology and be in control professionally, personally and generally lead in your friendships and relationship yet have a "bottom" sexuality and prefer to follow in the bedroom.(i.e. all the stories about high power NYC bankers who see their Dominatrix on their lunch hour)
It's also perfectly natural to have a "submissive" psychology where you prefer to be part of a team rather than lead it yet "Top" in the bedroom and lead sexually.
The possible combos are as varied people. Dom/Top, Dom/bottom, sub/Top, sub/bottom, Dom/Switch, etc, etc. You get the idea.
It's good to discuss this with your wife. Explore where you each maybe on each of the spectrums. My fiance and I occupy the same spot on the "Top" sexuality spectrum. Knowing that has helped us so our needs are not competing. However when I'm stressed at work i become much more sexually submissive to her though nothing else in my psychology changes. When the stress goes away it normalizes and levels back out.
With us, our every day life was totally normal. She was allowed to have the extra sex she needed. Allowed is the wrong word, it was her determination.
