First Date Nerves

[jenniejenjen333]

Ok, here goes 😶

I’m Jennie, 27, and have been with my bf Mark since forever, in fact he’s the only guy i’ve ever been with. However, over the last (seriously, like 5 years…) he’s been going on about a fantasy of me being with other guys. To cut a long story short, but I can elaborate if you want, this hasn’t been easy for me to deal with or fathom in my mind, especially as it just started with just some light comments during sex, all the way to much more recently where he’s been sending me all sorts of things to read on all kinds of forums (including this one) about everything to do with this sort of stuff. He’s been on this site for years, and now, today, so I am.
I’m not exactly an outgoing person, i’m pretty shy and reserved to put it mildly, so you can probably imagine (I hope!) that this has been very difficult, in fact i’ve had more than a few tearful exchanges about this over the years. I’ve felt all kinds of weird emotions and doubts and worries about our relationship and I know he’s tried his best to explain and everything, but still, it’s been a lot to process!
Again, trying but failing to keep this brief, part of our deal together was that I join this forum too and start posting, so here I am, and as the title says, I have my first ‘date’ tomorrow night (long story about fixing that up), and I can’t remember being this nervous about anything for years. All help is gratefully received, I can’t quite believe i’m doing this.

Jen

 

[TexasDaddy]

Ok, here goes 😶

I’m Jennie, 27, and have been with my bf Mark since forever, in fact he’s the only guy i’ve ever been with. However, over the last (seriously, like 5 years…) he’s been going on about a fantasy of me being with other guys. To cut a long story short, but I can elaborate if you want, this hasn’t been easy for me to deal with or fathom in my mind, especially as it just started with just some light comments during sex, all the way to much more recently where he’s been sending me all sorts of things to read on all kinds of forums (including this one) about everything to do with this sort of stuff. He’s been on this site for years, and now, today, so I am.
I’m not exactly an outgoing person, i’m pretty shy and reserved to put it mildly, so you can probably imagine (I hope!) that this has been very difficult, in fact i’ve had more than a few tearful exchanges about this over the years. I’ve felt all kinds of weird emotions and doubts and worries about our relationship and I know he’s tried his best to explain and everything, but still, it’s been a lot to process!
Again, trying but failing to keep this brief, part of our deal together was that I join this forum too and start posting, so here I am, and as the title says, I have my first ‘date’ tomorrow night (long story about fixing that up), and I can’t remember being this nervous about anything for years. All help is gratefully received, I can’t quite believe i’m doing this.

Jen

A nervous wife makes me really sexually aggressive.

 

[charlie141r42]

Ok, here goes 😶

I’m Jennie, 27, and have been with my bf Mark since forever, in fact he’s the only guy i’ve ever been with. However, over the last (seriously, like 5 years…) he’s been going on about a fantasy of me being with other guys. To cut a long story short, but I can elaborate if you want, this hasn’t been easy for me to deal with or fathom in my mind, especially as it just started with just some light comments during sex, all the way to much more recently where he’s been sending me all sorts of things to read on all kinds of forums (including this one) about everything to do with this sort of stuff. He’s been on this site for years, and now, today, so I am.
I’m not exactly an outgoing person, i’m pretty shy and reserved to put it mildly, so you can probably imagine (I hope!) that this has been very difficult, in fact i’ve had more than a few tearful exchanges about this over the years. I’ve felt all kinds of weird emotions and doubts and worries about our relationship and I know he’s tried his best to explain and everything, but still, it’s been a lot to process!
Again, trying but failing to keep this brief, part of our deal together was that I join this forum too and start posting, so here I am, and as the title says, I have my first ‘date’ tomorrow night (long story about fixing that up), and I can’t remember being this nervous about anything for years. All help is gratefully received, I can’t quite believe i’m doing this.

Jen

Hi Jen.
Sounds to me as if you have been pressurised into doing this and after years have finally given in for no other reason than some peace and quite.
It sunds as if you are going to go through with meeting this other guy, but from what you say it`s unclear if you have had any contact with him or if this has all been arranged by your boyfriend. If it was by your boyfriend then on meeting this guy best you tell him what the boundaries are in what you are comfortable doing.
I hope it goes well for you and you have an enjoyable experience that you would like to repeat for your own sake. If not then you probably need to rethink your relationahip with this boyfriend. Nobody should be pressurised into doing something they do not want to. If your boyfriend is on this forum then he appears to have missed what the title is. It`s "Wife wants to Play"

 

[jenniejenjen333]

Hi Jen.
Sounds to me as if you have been pressurised into doing this and after years have finally given in for no other reason than some peace and quite.
It sunds as if you are going to go through with meeting this other guy, but from what you say it`s unclear if you have had any contact with him or if this has all been arranged by your boyfriend. If it was by your boyfriend then on meeting this guy best you tell him what the boundaries are in what you are comfortable doing.
I hope it goes well for you and you have an enjoyable experience that you would like to repeat for your own sake. If not then you probably need to rethink your relationahip with this boyfriend. Nobody should be pressurised into doing something they do not want to. If your boyfriend is on this forum then he appears to have missed what the title is. It`s "Wife wants to Play"

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. It certainly felt like that at the beginning, especially when I didn't understand anything about all of this. I felt like he had a kink and I wasn't sure where I fitted into it. But since he's been showing me things (and I've been doing a lot of reading, here and elsewhere) I've seen that it wasn't just about him, but like you say, that the woman was having freedom and the man was taking pleasure in that.
Nerves aside, my disbelief that i'm going on an actual 'date' thing tomorrow is because I decided I wanted to, and hearing myself admitting that was a big step for me.

 

[charlie141r42]

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. It certainly felt like that at the beginning, especially when I didn't understand anything about all of this. I felt like he had a kink and I wasn't sure where I fitted into it. But since he's been showing me things (and I've been doing a lot of reading, here and elsewhere) I've seen that it wasn't just about him, but like you say, that the woman was having freedom and the man was taking pleasure in that.
Nerves aside, my disbelief that i'm going on an actual 'date' thing tomorrow is because I decided I wanted to, and hearing myself admitting that was a big step for me.

In which case I hope it goes well for you and you enjoy your date today.
I would be interested in knowing how it went for you, either from you here or by DM.

 

[jenniejenjen333]

In which case I hope it goes well for you and you enjoy your date today.
I would be interested in knowing how it went for you, either from you here or by DM.

Thank you 🙂 we're trying to decide what I should wear for tonight and that's been surprisingly fun to talk about. I think that at least some of my nerves are slowly getting replaced with excitement, but it's hard to tell 🙃

 

[tonic4U]

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. It certainly felt like that at the beginning, especially when I didn't understand anything about all of this. I felt like he had a kink and I wasn't sure where I fitted into it. But since he's been showing me things (and I've been doing a lot of reading, here and elsewhere) I've seen that it wasn't just about him, but like you say, that the woman was having freedom and the man was taking pleasure in that.
Nerves aside, my disbelief that i'm going on an actual 'date' thing tomorrow is because I decided I wanted to, and hearing myself admitting that was a big step for me.

Are you going on this date alone or is you BF Mark going too?

 

[Hotwifeflash]

A nervous wife makes me really sexually aggressive.

Probably the worst reply to give after reading that it's been a emotional journey so far for her..

 

[jenniejenjen333]

Are you going on this date alone or is you BF Mark going too?

Mark's staying at home (his preference). I'll get an uber directly there and back. We've been talking to the guy for several months on and off and we're meeting in a public place (a bar). To be honest, I actually don't want Mark to be there either, because part of this is feeling like I can embody a different type of personality tonight, or at least try, if that makes sense? Like let my hair down and find a different side to myself maybe? I don't know, but that's one of the things that actually started me on a path to want to try this.

 

[Hotwifeflash]

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. It certainly felt like that at the beginning, especially when I didn't understand anything about all of this. I felt like he had a kink and I wasn't sure where I fitted into it. But since he's been showing me things (and I've been doing a lot of reading, here and elsewhere) I've seen that it wasn't just about him, but like you say, that the woman was having freedom and the man was taking pleasure in that.
Nerves aside, my disbelief that i'm going on an actual 'date' thing tomorrow is because I decided I wanted to, and hearing myself admitting that was a big step for me.

Try to enjoy, and stay true to your own limits.

It's easy to go further because you feel like the BF wants it, but in the end it's you who has to enjoy it for the arrangement to work out😘

 

[jenniejenjen333]

Try to enjoy, and stay true to your own limits.

It's easy to go further because you feel like the BF wants it, but in the end it's you who has to enjoy it for the arrangement to work out😘

Thank youuuuuuu, I genuinely feel like i'm looking forward to it now it's getting closer. I have no intentions of any kind of limit testing tonight, just a meet up and see how that feels. My bf's being very sweet about it all (even though I can tell he's a bundle of energy inside about it) ☺️

 

[Hotwifeflash]

Thank youuuuuuu, I genuinely feel like i'm looking forward to it now it's getting closer. I have no intentions of any kind of limit testing tonight, just a meet up and see how that feels. My bf's being very sweet about it all (even though I can tell he's a bundle of energy inside about it) ☺️

Sounds good girl🥰 hope to hear from you after the date

 

[samsar]

Hi Jennie, first welcome to the forum ,
Secondly , don't do anything you don't want to do,
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for over ten years now it has been mostly a good experience for both of us,
One thing you and your boyfriend need to be aware of is it doesn't always go to plan and you both need to be ready for whatever happens ,
Thinking about it and fantising about it is totally different than making it a reality , your boyfriend might realise it's not all he thought it would be in our experience the woman as in you will handle it better than the man as in your boyfriend ,
The cuckold angst will hit him as it does with all of us when we know our wife/girlfriend is being intimate with another man and he may or not like it you need to be ready for his regrets if he has them,
I have no doubt that you will enjoy your time with another guy but make him work for you insist that the guy takes you on a date buys you dinner talks to you and then YOU decide what you want to happen ,
I may ne to late with this advice from someone who has had all the emotions of a hot wife lifestyle if I am I just hope you had a great night with another guy,
Good luck in the future ,
Samsar , luckylady,my wifes playtime name,lol👍

 

[tonic4U]

Mark's staying at home (his preference). I'll get an uber directly there and back. We've been talking to the guy for several months on and off and we're meeting in a public place (a bar). To be honest, I actually don't want Mark to be there either, because part of this is feeling like I can embody a different type of personality tonight, or at least try, if that makes sense? Like let my hair down and find a different side to myself maybe? I don't know, but that's one of the things that actually started me on a path to want to try this.

Do you expect this is just a first date (drinks and meal) only. To get to know him or do you expect more will happen?

 

[jenniejenjen333]

Hi Jennie, first welcome to the forum ,
Secondly , don't do anything you don't want to do,
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for over ten years now it has been mostly a good experience for both of us,
One thing you and your boyfriend need to be aware of is it doesn't always go to plan and you both need to be ready for whatever happens ,
Thinking about it and fantising about it is totally different than making it a reality , your boyfriend might realise it's not all he thought it would be in our experience the woman as in you will handle it better than the man as in your boyfriend ,
The cuckold angst will hit him as it does with all of us when we know our wife/girlfriend is being intimate with another man and he may or not like it you need to be ready for his regrets if he has them,
I have no doubt that you will enjoy your time with another guy but make him work for you insist that the guy takes you on a date buys you dinner talks to you and then YOU decide what you want to happen ,
I may ne to late with this advice from someone who has had all the emotions of a hot wife lifestyle if I am I just hope you had a great night with another guy,
Good luck in the future ,
Samsar , luckylady,my wifes playtime name,lol👍

Thank you for that, it makes a lot of sense and yes, i'm thinking of this as a literal date, so I expect to be treated accordingly. Hopefully i'll be made to feel at least a bit special while at the same time acknowledging that Mark is waiting for me at home, but (trying) not to let that weird me out and hold in my mind at all times that this is what he wants, so I'm not doing anything 'bad' I can instead (again, hopefully) feel a bit free.

 

[jenniejenjen333]

Do you expect this is just a first date (drinks and meal) only. To get to know him or do you expect more will happen?

Drinks and getting to know him a bit in real life

 

[charlie141r42]

Thank you 🙂 we're trying to decide what I should wear for tonight and that's been surprisingly fun to talk about. I think that at least some of my nerves are slowly getting replaced with excitement, but it's hard to tell 🙃

Anyone who tries to tell you, man or woman, that their first time before meeting wasn`t a toss up between nerves and excitement are liars. That excitement is is replacing nerves is good to hear that you are looking forward to meeting this guy.
I have been around long enoufg to know that women do not wear lingerie just to turn men on. They wear it often because it make them feel sexy,so my suggestion would be wear the lingerie that you feel best in.

 

[jaandaj]

Thank youuuuuuu, I genuinely feel like i'm looking forward to it now it's getting closer. I have no intentions of any kind of limit testing tonight, just a meet up and see how that feels. My bf's being very sweet about it all (even though I can tell he's a bundle of energy inside about it) ☺️

We wish you well and I hope u keep us posted on the progress.

It is normal, in my opinion, for u to feel the way you have. And I think it's great that you have told people how hard it has been for u to get ur head around this.

You have gotten a lot of good advice from some the people on here. There are a lot of good people on Who want the best for you and ur boyfriend. Things won't always be easy but u two can work through it all. Just keep open communication!

Enjoy your self on ur date. Be nervous, be shy, be excited. All the emotions are part the fun.

If u or him need someone to vent to, please feel free to reach out.

 

[jenniejenjen333]

We wish you well and I hope u keep us posted on the progress.

It is normal, in my opinion, for u to feel the way you have. And I think it's great that you have told people how hard it has been for u to get ur head around this.

You have gotten a lot of good advice from some the people on here. There are a lot of good people on Who want the best for you and ur boyfriend. Things won't always be easy but u two can work through it all. Just keep open communication!

Enjoy your self on ur date. Be nervous, be shy, be excited. All the emotions are part the fun.

If u or him need someone to vent to, please feel free to reach out.

Thank you, that's very nice of you. I was really worried about being too shy, but I'm just going to try to not overthink it. I'm going on a date! (and, I have to say, with the kind of guy I wouldn't normally even probably be able to say hi to) and i'm excited and I can't believe it 🫠

 

[charlie141r42]

Do not be running yourself down Jenn, This guy finds you attractive otherwise he would not be looking to meet you.

Just go with the flow, and if you do decide to have sex with him, just let him know your boundaries and enjoy.

Really hoping you have a great time and you will come back on here and let us know how your date went.