The wife and I have been married for 12 years. She is 39 and I am 35. We've watched porn together during sex (mostly BBC porn so I could get her watching that) and I got her a BBC dildo. We did a threesome with a white guy twice in the second year of our marriage and she almost did it with a coworker of mine years ago. She feels connected during sex which makes it hard for her since she doesn't want to catch feelings for anyone else. Her libido has recently crashed due to her new anxiety medicine too. After giving up on the fantasy I finally brought it back up and started using the dildo on her when she's willing. She talks dirty about it and acts like she loves the idea but sometimes acts like it isn't her thing which it might not be. She says she isn't interested in other men but she uses the fantasy to get me off because she knows it works like nothing else. I've discussed it all with her how it could go down. I just don't know if I'm missing anything that I could be doing without being pushy about it.
Here's where I'm at...help me please.
- Thread starter TommyFunn
- Start date
My husband asked me if I thought one of his friends was hot he knew I did and He’s been fucking me for the past 8 yrs
Good for you. I want my wife to enjoy a variety if she desires it. I like watching, sharing and joining in too.
Use to be once maybe 2x a week now mayce 2x a month
My wife said the same exact thing.
She was very against being with anyone else. It took time and a lot of talking .
The biggest thing in our situation was she was uncomfortable doing anything with someone else that might bother me or make me think or feel differently about her.
She felt like she had to hide how turned on she was watching a porno with a hot guy that she really liked.
I just kept reassuring her and slowly doing more things like asking her what turns her on in the porn and which guys are hot and what she likes about them.
Then she started letting me watch her fantasizing about those guys while I licked her pussy and made her cum while she was staring at the guys in the porn.
I asked her to let me watch her using her vibrator while she was looking at a picture of some hot guy that she picked out and she had no problem looking at some hot guy while she was making herself cum.
It was so hot.
Her medications could be playing a role in her libido and comfort level. She might want to discuss it with her doctor.
Good luck keep at it you'll get there!
I am going to follow your advice and try to slowly build up her confidence and the way you have gone about it sounds like a wonderful, healthy and respectful way.🙏🔥
It took my husband well over a year to convince me to consider it. It’s easy for us to get upset or dismissive about it, I honestly didn’t think my husband had the ability to deal with me being with another man given his insecurities. But over time he was able to show that it was coming from a place of love and that he was not only genuine about it, but ready.
After my first experience recently I was terrified to tell him about it after, as per our agreement, but he handled it so amazingly that I almost felt bad for doubting his sincerity for so long
I only share this to show that patience and compassion with your wife is super important and I love that you are trying not to be pushy. She may be in a similar place that I was before agreeing to it, it can take some time.
Best of luck to you and her!!
After my first experience recently I was terrified to tell him about it after, as per our agreement, but he handled it so amazingly that I almost felt bad for doubting his sincerity for so long
I only share this to show that patience and compassion with your wife is super important and I love that you are trying not to be pushy. She may be in a similar place that I was before agreeing to it, it can take some time.
Best of luck to you and her!!
I am an over thinker and I am certain I was a bit awkward considering my nerves and some of the things I said, like apologizing for getting off so easily and often. So I think I would try to treat myself with a little more grace and kindness to let things go and get out of my own head so much. That is easier said than done for me but it is the first thing that comes to mind that I would have done differently if I knew what I know now then
Well for one, I shouldn’t apologize for getting off so easily or often lol
Also, that nerves are natural, play into them rather than trying to act like you aren’t nervous.
Most importantly just be in the moment, do not overthink everything, trust yourself and the journey that got you here
This is the conversation I wanted yesterday. Can we continue today?
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