Another way to look at hubby not being with his wife as she enjoys her BF: because most men are inexperienced when it comes to adding another male to the marriage bed, they don't understand that a husband is a major distraction to a wife who is enjoying (or trying to enjoy) hot sex with a lover/BF, and reaching for orgasm. In fetish forums like the one we are in now, all kinds of unrealistic expectations are created when people post their fantasy material and try to make it look as if it is really happening. And it's easy to get "into the zone" in here and imagine all this stuff is real.
There's plenty of men in here who do in fact experience and enjoy when their wife has a BF, but they don't post much - it's difficult to break through all the wannabee cuckold-bbc-huge penis bullshit that seems to permeate every discussion. 🤣 🤣 🤣 Take a step back, and think rationally, - will your wife have a good time if you are watching and directing or asking naive questions like "Does it feel good, honey?" or "Is he stretching you, babe?" or "push it out, babe." 🤣🤣🤣🤣Or if you imposed a "no kissing" rule? My wife told me early in our marriage that she would need to have some private time with her BFs, as I was distracting her and she felt obligated to perform for me but wanted to focus on him and reaching orgasm. We agreed to let her handle the relationship with him, - the when, how, and where of it all, and how I could best enjoy it. Can't ask for much more than that!
The humilitation aspect can be detrimental to your marriage relationship so be careful asking for it. She won't do it naturally - she loved you enough to marry you - does it make sense she'd want to degrade you? Can't speak for all of you, but that's 'kinda how my wife approached the whole thing, but there's a more subtle way she let me know he was more satisfying to her in the bedroom. 😁 Her body language told the whole story. It's non-verbal and it's hot. Higher level of communication.....