Hotwife experiences - help

[sexyash]

Hi everyone,

So my husband and I have browsed this site several times and enjoyed reading all the stories and decided to jump in ourselves. I've successfully gone out several times, and we've enjoyed it. However, I keep finding myself asking if it's worthwhile to meet the guys.

I enjoy doing it and would like to do it more, but so many guys act stupid or flake out. Plus since we've been together for 12 years my husband knows how to please me and is by no means small. So I end up feeling like I'm investing huge amounts of time to get crappier sex, or to just have sex with my husband which I could do anyway.

From reading around the internet this seems to just be the state of things. I'm wondering how you ladies deal with it. Do you have any tips or tricks when it comes to finding and selecting guys? For those of you with more experience in the lifestyle, how many guys actually work out?

 

[seppo55]

Have you thought about letting your husband pick the guy(s) with you maintaining veto power over his decisions? My wife and I are about to jump in too, and while I am happy being her cuckold husband and she does have the desire to have sex with other guys, she is rather submissive and would want me to make all the arrangements in addition to being there with her during any festivities. I freely grant her the right to pick whom she wants, but she greatly values my input throughout the entire process and one of the rules we have is called the bail-out rule in which each of us has the option to invoke a decision to bail out of any situation with no questions asked by the other. Another benefit for you is that you would gain insight to your husband's inner thoughts about your (plural) decision to try the lifestyle as you ponder his selections for you. Just some thoughts...

 

[sexyash]

Hi Seppo55,

Thanks for your thoughts. That's actually how we started and it gradually became this system where before I meet the guys I bring all the details about the person to my hubby and ask if he's ok with it. We've tried a bunch of sites, and they are all equally flaky guys.

I don't think I'm asking that much either. Currently I only require that they can actually hold a conversation with me for a couple days before we meet.

 

[seppo55]

Is this your favorite cuckold site or do you enjoy others as well? This is the best one I have found so far, but I am always on the lookout for others.

Also, how long have you been into the lifestyle, and do you (both) enjoy it? Is your husband there while you play, and if so, does he just watch or participate?

Try Doublelist which has categories for couples looking for guys and males looking for couples. And vett them (or let your husband help with the vetting) as well as you can. I plan to interview all potential candidates before we invite anyone to really join us...

 

[sexyash]

We're more of an open relationship, but he enjoys me going out more often haha. One of the other site we're on said we signed up 3 years ago. I think this always sort of part of our relationship and just got acted out in the last couple years.

I'll have to try doublelist. We've dropped our expectations a lot. We used to want 3-4 non-sexual dates and for the guy to talk to hubby first but almost everyone flaked when it came time to talk to hubby and few made it past the 2nd non-sexual date. Thus my questions, I feel like we're doing something wrong.

 

[seppo55]

And that other site you're on is.....

 

[verkitwme]

Keep trying, I think it's hit or miss...….I was lucky first two guys became my long time lovers !

 

[sexyash]

@seppo55 I'm on all sorts of sites from lifestyle ones to regular dating ones. Cast a broad net and keep the ones that work. We're currently trying out a new group of sites to see what works.

Thank you for the encouragement verkitwme. My third guy I thought was going to become a long term lover, but he got busy with family stuff and disappeared. Everyone else has ended up being a 1-2 night stand which I wasn't expecting. I figured making them work for it a little would weed out those guys.

 

[verkitwme]

Be selective!!

 

[sexyash]

I'm struggling with that. I'm trying to find a balance between getting out with guys and not expecting too little / selling myself short. I'd say 95% of guys don't make it past the first day of chatting. Then only 1 in 20 act respectful enough to get a date. I figured this small group would be the long-term guys ?

 

[2wheel]

We are on a somewhat different path.

She's not seeking better, she's seeking different. I'm not the best of lovers and ED sure has taken it's toll. She says it's like a meal. even though one's best restaurant is always there, one still frequents different restaurants for different experiences, and that sometimes it's worse, sometimes better and sometimes just as good but the journey to find that out is in and of itself enjoyable.

There are no dates involved, it's strictly about sex, nothing more. One of best partners is a lousy person and in the clear light of day wouldn''t have been a selection of hers if she was looking for more than sex. It's not about romance it's about sex.

https://www.wifewantstoplay.com/threads/is-this-the-start-or-the-end-part-1.5839/

 

[Kristin]

I am sort of newbe with only 4 years of swinging but have had hundreds of partnes Rarely have all invited shown up Always invite twice as many as you expect to to fuck you/me. Once I invited 80 and all showed up Glad I started on a sunday morning and the Monday was a holiday and they kept on cuming. A gf helped me some and all the guys had me multipule times.... I was 24 at the time.