So wife perspective: I have been a pretty nerdy girl all my life and not at all experienced. My husband had this secret fantasy about me with a BBC. What he did:
He didn´t suggest it out loud, he let it grow on me. He first introduced watching porn together. Slowly shifting towards BBC. He was first very clear about it being totally fine with me being turned on by other men, I would just make him hornier. Having sex, he whispered to me about how I loved that Anton Harden, right, like "what if he was here right now" stuff like that. It turned me on! At this point, no thoughts of anything like that happening for real.
He was patient. He introduced me to the cuckolding thing through porn, we watched some blacked movies. He started off slowly by just mentioning how he would love to see me with Anton Harden, I would have a free pass. Ok I was fantasizing about it at this point. It kinda came naturally, like it was a possibility.
But I was kinda scared. When he finally like suggested something happening for real, he made me safe. Like, he was going to do some work to find the right guy, not stressing, not accepting any big black cock. He made me secure like I could always back out, but "just let me chat with some black men for you". And I was like ok it will never happen anyway but I was also curious.
He actually got some chats going. He made them send pics of their body, face and.. BBC! He only sent pics of me without face, and no nudes. I am scared of the internet lol. So like I really was turned on by this one man. He was twice my age and my husband asured me he seamed like a gentleman. So, my husband met him for a beer and talked. I was home, very very turned on, but also scared still. All of the sudden he facetimed me. When I answered, he said that this man would love to just exchange a few words. FUCK. But ok. So we chatted for a short while, the three of us. They were in a bar. I was at home. It felt safe. I connected with him, I was attracted to him, I loved that he was older and experienced. He was hot!
When my husband came home I told him, let´s do it.