How did you convince your wife

I can say with certainty that it helped our marriage. Not that we were heading for divorce but I’m not sure I could’ve kept her happy sexually for all these years.
I have the size (about 9”) but the drive to fuck her day in day out was slipping away from me.
And deep down I always knew I was more satisfied watching than fucking.
This is indeed a very honest statement it takes a lot to share something like that. Kuddos to both of you. If you dint mind me asking you how often or rarely does your lady experience other men?
 
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I won't pretend to know about convincing, but I do as well share the same fantasy for as long as I remember, and a bit of context this fantasy was created from something that she did. We were on a bar afternoon time, and as a young girl she wore a very short skirt, and lacey white thong and we were sitting on stools, logically skirt risen considerably and very little left to the imagination. My point being, I went. to the bathroom on the way back I noticed two black studs checking her out, I felt jealous helpless but very excited. Since then, I bought her sexy dresses, thong bikinis, I took her to the best vacation spots in the world, clubs beaches resorts you name it. I finally found the courage to tell her over an honest phone call conversation, she wanted to understand why I was desiring her with other men, I told her, I want to see her eroticism while she is been taken by someone else and that I love her and all this jazz. almost 20 years later on, the only thing I have managed to accomplish is some very heavy flirting on some nightclub.
 
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It was first getting her used to the idea of it. she was conditioned just like the rest of society about what is right and wrong. fear of being judged, and being immoral, etc. she was also insecure sexually. first I had to get her more comfortable to express herself sexually. she is very conservative in nearly every way. this took longer than anything. maybe a year or year and a half. when she became more sexually open, and willing to talk about or watch any kind of sex (porn) from there the process sped up. she really needed to feel comfortable talking about, and playing with ideas and not feeling shame or disgust but arousal from it.

after this happened I just started talking about how it would be fun to see her hook up with someone else. how fun it would be for her to use him just for sex. at first the idea was a little odd to her because she thought it would be more than just sex, and could effect the marriage. she saw it as cheating. i told her how is it cheating if we both know about it and I condone it? we make the rules of our marriage not anyone else. we talked about swinging lifestyle for a bit, but never did it. she was interested though in watching other people have live sex. she wasn't too sure if she could go through with it. she was more worried about being watched by others. I told her no one has to watch, that is just something some people get off on.

time goes by and we occasionally go to bars, or she would go to happy hour with her friends from work. sometimes she would notice a guy after a few drinks and mention he was handsome, or how some guy tried to pick up on her. instead of losing my shit like most men I asked her to tell me more about it. then i told her that her story was hot, and she should see if she could get their number next time. almost like a bet. this took a few times until she was in the right place at the right time with the right amount of liquor in her. I was present when a guy hit on her when she was going to the rest room past the pool tables. I told her i was going to go talk to him, and she begged me not to do it. I said trust me then went over. I told him I was her friend from work, and she mentioned you spoke to her but is shy. come sit with us and be charming. then give her your number. he agreed he would after his game was over. I went and sat down and told her that if anyone asks we work together, and are not married. she asked why of course, and i said just trust me.

he came by and introduced himself again when i asked him to have a seat and hang with us for a while. told him we worked together and were just there blowing off steam. he was really laying it on trying to be charming and funny. my wife at first was shy about paying him any attention, but eventually started being more receptive. when i could see that they were able to talk without me needing to be present to create the conversation I got up and said I was going to get some drinks for us. my wife looked a little afraid, but i just went to the bar and took my time there. purposely not getting the bartenders attention and talking to the other people at the bar. after about 10 minutes I came back with drinks, and they were both laughing about some story about his dog. we spoke for a while, and when he got up to rejoin his friends he said give me your number. i want to take you out. she was a little hesitant and looked at me. I told her, what are you looking at me for? exchange numbers already. she sent him a text and he responded so now they had each other's number.

when we left she kept saying, "oh my god i can't believe you did that. I'm not going to answer his texts or calls if he calls." I told her to lighten up. it isn't a big deal. you guys seemed to like each other. it's no big deal. sure as shit within two days he texted her and asked about going out on Friday night for dinner and later to the same bar. she freaked out, and i told her just say yes. you don't have to do anything with him. just go have fun. live for once. if you need me to pick you up or something goes south Ill be right here. she didn't want to go by herself. i told her i would go to the same dinner location with a friend from work that has never met my wife, as well as the bar. that way i was always present. it took a little convincing, but she finally agreed. that Friday she was having doubts and wanted to call it off. I told her he already made the reservations, as well as I. it is just dinner. go have fun. she was very nervous but went. I picked up my friend and we headed there as well. after about 30 minutes into the dinner I walked over and acted like it was a coincidence we were there at the same time. asked what they were going to do after, and he said go to the same bar. I said maybe we will see you there. then walked back to my table. this comforted my wife.

at the bar we hung out for a little bit but then separated our ways. she was dinking wine a little more than usual due to her nerves, but eventually I saw him make his move and she nervously accepted it. she glanced over at me to see if i was watching i gave her a grin and a quick thumbs up then turned around. about 30 minutes later I saw them getting ready to leave where he was holding her hand leading the way. he saw us and waved saying, "later". she looked at me like "the things you get me into. lol"

a couple hours later i texted her asking her if she was alright. she said she was fine, and would be home soon. when she came home she just started laughing at me calling me a mother fucker. all i asked was did you have a good time? she said she did but was a nervous wreck the whole time. she began to tell me about him, the things they talked about, how his apartment was decorated, his dog, etc. I didn't ask about sex. she eventually took a shower and jumped into bed. she asked, "are you curious if we did anything?" I told her she wouldn't have showered if she didn't. she punched my arm and called me a fucker again.

it was the next morning when she told me how fun and exciting it was, but she wasn't sure if she would do it again. I told her she didn't have to, but it was a good experience for her. she agreed. it was only a couple days later when i was having sex with her (which by the way her libido increased by double after that for a about a week) did I aske her what they had done together. when she said he did this or that I would do the same thing to her and ask, "you mean like this?" she came pretty quick that night.

the rest is history really. we don't have a typical cuck relationship. I have never been present, but just knowing she is going out there and doing such things is a turn on for me. we both enjoy her extra marital adventures.
 
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How did you achieve this??
How did you achieve this??
It is hard to do with a lady that feels she may be to conservative.yet has a lust streak hidden.
How did you convince your wife into this lifestyle ? How did it start? Was she ever against it and then she changed her mind ?
She was "Ripe at age 45 never had another man and she was going through a bad hysteretomy felt barren not a woman no matter what I did or said. Add her age life passing her by etc..she was always very hot and sexual with fantasies. I knew this.BUT she was also coy,shy innocent like to the public. Here she is at age 45 .I found a super stud,I help him seduce her.
 

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How did you achieve this??
it started with me really taking the lead on things. asking her to be open and honest about what she likes and doesn't like. what she would like me to try, or what she would like to try. many of these things she had to do in the dark at first because she felt awkward. after everything we tried i just said that was fun and interesting. if she said anything about how she seemed uncomfortable or something was awkward I would put her mind at ease. eventually she became more open and frank about sex and sexual ideas. people are generally embarrassed about their sexual desires or fantasies. you have to put them at ease. anything they say they like you need to be sure to tell them you really think the idea is hot, and you enjoy it as well.

with the porn I started her off watching some very basic videos where we could talk about what we were seeing more than getting off on it. for instance i would say "babe come here and see this." when she came in she would be like, "what are watching? lol" I would tell her look at this. then maybe have a scene where a woman had very large breasts. she would say something like wow those are too big. or how could anyone think that was sexy? just things to talk about. eventually it went from that to large dicks, then three ways, etc. just slowly amp-ing it up. She can watch anything now but finds incest themes revolting and disrespectful. i would also sometimes put on a video while i went down her for something for her to watch. i made sure it would be something that was more for her enjoyment not mine. she actually now sometimes will suggest we watch some porn before we do anything. sometimes i feel like i'm watching it with a movie critic though. lol

i also would talk to her about her ex lovers and boyfriends in a non sexual way. this was uncomfortable for her at first. but i never judged, and only asked questions that made her realize i was interested in her and her life. for instance i would ask, "you ever hook up with someone you later regretted? someone you thought was cool and ended up being a bum?" then she would go off on someone. I would let her talk about it, and keep asking questions like, "how did the relationship end?" and, "do you think he regrets being that way and losing you?" this actually was one of the best things I could ever do with her. this helped us in our relationship so much outside of sex. eventually I could ask sexual questions about them, and she would answer. most of the time they were not very exciting encounters for her. this helped also with the ability to talk about other men being sexual with her. when she saw it didn't bother me, she was more open to talk about it. some of the things she said she did made me do a double take. i never would have thought she would have done something like that. I would also talk about my past lovers and some of the things that i did with them. usually how they were a real drag in bed. or i would mention how some were really good at this or that. when she heard that I saw her make an effort to try to better her performance on those items. she would ask for guidance, and i would give it. then i would tell her she was amazing. you have to do the whole reward system.

everything was baby steps. i didn't rush into anything, and did it at her pace. I would be more sexual with her in awkward settings as well. if we would be out somewhere like the store i would pinch her butt, or come up from behind and feel her up real fast. she would laugh and get embarrassed but enjoyed it. even if your wife never goes all the way with someone else, these are still good things to do in order to make a stronger relationship between you two.

but if there is anything she is adamant about don't pursue it. just agree with her stance and move forward. make sure she knows her opinions and views are valid. most of the time with my wife it is more like she doesn't know which starbucks to drink so she is hesitant. so a little prodding in a certain direction is actually what she is looking for. nothing i have done has backfired on me. i was carefully reading every action and reaction and working from there. my goal wasn't to have her fuck someone else. it was to better our relationship and sex life. the rest just happened after the fact.
 
'it started with me ...'
We think somewhat alike.

I've followed various boards over the years watching for posts by wives who have some either dissatisfaction with her husband's sex habits, or their interest in some man in their lives. I'd create an internet account and post it with an invitation for the woman to write. You'd be surprised how often these women reciprocate. Of course, I'd take some pains to prepare a polished, first reply with thoughtful perspective on her situation.

Soon, I had a very clear picture of her situation, preferences, desires, etc. It was pretty amazing how quickly a shy, conservative wife can open up and tell another man absolutely anything when she has the opportunity to do so in a safe context. And yes, some of the wives MAJORLY cuckolded their husbands.
 
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We think somewhat alike.

I've followed various boards over the years watching for posts by wives who have some either dissatisfaction with her husband's sex habits, or their interest in some man in their lives. I'd create an internet account and post it with an invitation for the woman to write. You'd be surprised how often these women reciprocate. Of course, I'd take some pains to prepare a polished, first reply with thoughtful perspective on her situation.

Soon, I had a very clear picture of her situation, preferences, desires, etc. It was pretty amazing how quickly a shy, conservative wife can open up and tell another man absolutely anything when she has the opportunity to do so in a safe context. And yes, some of the wives MAJORLY cuckolded their husbands.
I have seen text messages, as well as overheard conversations from my wife with other men. you are absolutely correct on them being willing and able to open up to other men about things they never tell you. most women are like someone playing poker. they rarely ever tell you what they are holding. they tell each person only one card in their hand, but rarely show someone the whole hand. they are full of secrets.
 
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it started with me really taking the lead on things. asking her to be open and honest about what she likes and doesn't like. what she would like me to try, or what she would like to try. many of these things she had to do in the dark at first because she felt awkward. after everything we tried i just said that was fun and interesting. if she said anything about how she seemed uncomfortable or something was awkward I would put her mind at ease. eventually she became more open and frank about sex and sexual ideas. people are generally embarrassed about their sexual desires or fantasies. you have to put them at ease. anything they say they like you need to be sure to tell them you really think the idea is hot, and you enjoy it as well.

with the porn I started her off watching some very basic videos where we could talk about what we were seeing more than getting off on it. for instance i would say "babe come here and see this." when she came in she would be like, "what are watching? lol" I would tell her look at this. then maybe have a scene where a woman had very large breasts. she would say something like wow those are too big. or how could anyone think that was sexy? just things to talk about. eventually it went from that to large dicks, then three ways, etc. just slowly amp-ing it up. She can watch anything now but finds incest themes revolting and disrespectful. i would also sometimes put on a video while i went down her for something for her to watch. i made sure it would be something that was more for her enjoyment not mine. she actually now sometimes will suggest we watch some porn before we do anything. sometimes i feel like i'm watching it with a movie critic though. lol

i also would talk to her about her ex lovers and boyfriends in a non sexual way. this was uncomfortable for her at first. but i never judged, and only asked questions that made her realize i was interested in her and her life. for instance i would ask, "you ever hook up with someone you later regretted? someone you thought was cool and ended up being a bum?" then she would go off on someone. I would let her talk about it, and keep asking questions like, "how did the relationship end?" and, "do you think he regrets being that way and losing you?" this actually was one of the best things I could ever do with her. this helped us in our relationship so much outside of sex. eventually I could ask sexual questions about them, and she would answer. most of the time they were not very exciting encounters for her. this helped also with the ability to talk about other men being sexual with her. when she saw it didn't bother me, she was more open to talk about it. some of the things she said she did made me do a double take. i never would have thought she would have done something like that. I would also talk about my past lovers and some of the things that i did with them. usually how they were a real drag in bed. or i would mention how some were really good at this or that. when she heard that I saw her make an effort to try to better her performance on those items. she would ask for guidance, and i would give it. then i would tell her she was amazing. you have to do the whole reward system.

everything was baby steps. i didn't rush into anything, and did it at her pace. I would be more sexual with her in awkward settings as well. if we would be out somewhere like the store i would pinch her butt, or come up from behind and feel her up real fast. she would laugh and get embarrassed but enjoyed it. even if your wife never goes all the way with someone else, these are still good things to do in order to make a stronger relationship between you two.

but if there is anything she is adamant about don't pursue it. just agree with her stance and move forward. make sure she knows her opinions and views are valid. most of the time with my wife it is more like she doesn't know which starbucks to drink so she is hesitant. so a little prodding in a certain direction is actually what she is looking for. nothing i have done has backfired on me. i was carefully reading every action and reaction and working from there. my goal wasn't to have her fuck someone else. it was to better our relationship and sex life. the rest just happened after the fact.
Nice way
 
It was first getting her used to the idea of it. she was conditioned just like the rest of society about what is right and wrong. fear of being judged, and being immoral, etc. she was also insecure sexually. first I had to get her more comfortable to express herself sexually. she is very conservative in nearly every way. this took longer than anything. maybe a year or year and a half. when she became more sexually open, and willing to talk about or watch any kind of sex (porn) from there the process sped up. she really needed to feel comfortable talking about, and playing with ideas and not feeling shame or disgust but arousal from it.

after this happened I just started talking about how it would be fun to see her hook up with someone else. how fun it would be for her to use him just for sex. at first the idea was a little odd to her because she thought it would be more than just sex, and could effect the marriage. she saw it as cheating. i told her how is it cheating if we both know about it and I condone it? we make the rules of our marriage not anyone else. we talked about swinging lifestyle for a bit, but never did it. she was interested though in watching other people have live sex. she wasn't too sure if she could go through with it. she was more worried about being watched by others. I told her no one has to watch, that is just something some people get off on.

time goes by and we occasionally go to bars, or she would go to happy hour with her friends from work. sometimes she would notice a guy after a few drinks and mention he was handsome, or how some guy tried to pick up on her. instead of losing my shit like most men I asked her to tell me more about it. then i told her that her story was hot, and she should see if she could get their number next time. almost like a bet. this took a few times until she was in the right place at the right time with the right amount of liquor in her. I was present when a guy hit on her when she was going to the rest room past the pool tables. I told her i was going to go talk to him, and she begged me not to do it. I said trust me then went over. I told him I was her friend from work, and she mentioned you spoke to her but is shy. come sit with us and be charming. then give her your number. he agreed he would after his game was over. I went and sat down and told her that if anyone asks we work together, and are not married. she asked why of course, and i said just trust me.

he came by and introduced himself again when i asked him to have a seat and hang with us for a while. told him we worked together and were just there blowing off steam. he was really laying it on trying to be charming and funny. my wife at first was shy about paying him any attention, but eventually started being more receptive. when i could see that they were able to talk without me needing to be present to create the conversation I got up and said I was going to get some drinks for us. my wife looked a little afraid, but i just went to the bar and took my time there. purposely not getting the bartenders attention and talking to the other people at the bar. after about 10 minutes I came back with drinks, and they were both laughing about some story about his dog. we spoke for a while, and when he got up to rejoin his friends he said give me your number. i want to take you out. she was a little hesitant and looked at me. I told her, what are you looking at me for? exchange numbers already. she sent him a text and he responded so now they had each other's number.

when we left she kept saying, "oh my god i can't believe you did that. I'm not going to answer his texts or calls if he calls." I told her to lighten up. it isn't a big deal. you guys seemed to like each other. it's no big deal. sure as shit within two days he texted her and asked about going out on Friday night for dinner and later to the same bar. she freaked out, and i told her just say yes. you don't have to do anything with him. just go have fun. live for once. if you need me to pick you up or something goes south Ill be right here. she didn't want to go by herself. i told her i would go to the same dinner location with a friend from work that has never met my wife, as well as the bar. that way i was always present. it took a little convincing, but she finally agreed. that Friday she was having doubts and wanted to call it off. I told her he already made the reservations, as well as I. it is just dinner. go have fun. she was very nervous but went. I picked up my friend and we headed there as well. after about 30 minutes into the dinner I walked over and acted like it was a coincidence we were there at the same time. asked what they were going to do after, and he said go to the same bar. I said maybe we will see you there. then walked back to my table. this comforted my wife.

at the bar we hung out for a little bit but then separated our ways. she was dinking wine a little more than usual due to her nerves, but eventually I saw him make his move and she nervously accepted it. she glanced over at me to see if i was watching i gave her a grin and a quick thumbs up then turned around. about 30 minutes later I saw them getting ready to leave where he was holding her hand leading the way. he saw us and waved saying, "later". she looked at me like "the things you get me into. lol"

a couple hours later i texted her asking her if she was alright. she said she was fine, and would be home soon. when she came home she just started laughing at me calling me a mother fucker. all i asked was did you have a good time? she said she did but was a nervous wreck the whole time. she began to tell me about him, the things they talked about, how his apartment was decorated, his dog, etc. I didn't ask about sex. she eventually took a shower and jumped into bed. she asked, "are you curious if we did anything?" I told her she wouldn't have showered if she didn't. she punched my arm and called me a fucker again.

it was the next morning when she told me how fun and exciting it was, but she wasn't sure if she would do it again. I told her she didn't have to, but it was a good experience for her. she agreed. it was only a couple days later when i was having sex with her (which by the way her libido increased by double after that for a about a week) did I aske her what they had done together. when she said he did this or that I would do the same thing to her and ask, "you mean like this?" she came pretty quick that night.

the rest is history really. we don't have a typical cuck relationship. I have never been present, but just knowing she is going out there and doing such things is a turn on for me. we both enjoy her extra marital adventures.
Its great start..I loved it
 
My husband and I play with another couple fairly regularly, but he doesn't really know about my hotwife fantasy. I think he suspects and I'm slowly leading him in that direction. I think baby steps is the key to all of this.
So when you two play does he like to spend more time watching than playing. Have you had him go down on you after you have had a good bareback fucking.