So my wife came to me yesterday after her normal night out with her main bf. She asked me about going with her boyfriend for 2 weeks in italy this summer (we live in the us). A couple of things went through my head. 1. thats a long time. 2. how are we going to keep this a secret from everyon, our kids, people will def know they are there together. Have any of your wives come with a request that is really pushing the envelope? This has gone from a fun adventure for her, to a life changing situation. She told me if i thought it was too much, she wouldnt go, but i could tell she really wants to go.
How much is too much?
- Thread starter Mr drummond
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I don't know the background or history of your relationship with your wife, but that's a BIG thing for you both to let happen. How would you answer questions about where she is for 2 weeks? Are your kids grown? How emotionally invested are you willing to have your wife be in her "main bf"? Will you still have the same relationship after she comes back from being in Italy with that man, being his woman 24/7 for 2 weeks?
This sounds like she is getting too serious with him. You need to have a serious conversation with her.
I agree, i would not let my wife go away for that long with her lover, thats simply relationship forming. She is my wife and i do not mind sharing her but i have never sought to give her away. I would now think long and hard if really he should become history. I would suggest you two and the kids go instead even if only for a week and if she says No, unless it for financial reasons i would definately take steps to get rid of him.
You two really need to talk to each other in detail.
You two really need to talk to each other in detail.
Various thoughts:
- maybe she wants to be 'out' about her relationship? No idea about the details of your situation, but it is a possibility that for one reason or another, she wants to be in the open about fucking her boyfriend
- my wife travels extensively for work. She routinely used business travel as a cover for cheating with other men before we started doing the hot wife thing. She still uses business trips for work and pleasure. It provides a built-in excuse, and she's generally careful about the public exposure aspects. The kids and family have no idea, other than she's traveling for work. Once a year, she goes to Europe for ten days to two weeks, combining conference travel with fucking a long-term lover...
- maybe she wants to be 'out' about her relationship? No idea about the details of your situation, but it is a possibility that for one reason or another, she wants to be in the open about fucking her boyfriend
- my wife travels extensively for work. She routinely used business travel as a cover for cheating with other men before we started doing the hot wife thing. She still uses business trips for work and pleasure. It provides a built-in excuse, and she's generally careful about the public exposure aspects. The kids and family have no idea, other than she's traveling for work. Once a year, she goes to Europe for ten days to two weeks, combining conference travel with fucking a long-term lover...
Honestly, i dont think she thinks that deeply about it. She just wants to go to italy with him because it sounds awesome for her. I asked "how are you going to keep it a secret from the kids" she responds, "oh ya that's a good point, i hadn't thought of it" And that's not a tactic, she really hadn't given it a moment thought other than "a trip to italy where i fuck my 31 year old bf several times a day? - hell yes" lol.
Delusion men that think they're in control of their wive's sexuality crack me up... it's likely that if she's distracted by the sex sufficiently, it won't matter whether or not you agree. She'll find a way to get what she wants.
It'd be more productive to find a way to support her desires, and let her enjoy two weeks in Italy fucking herself senseless. There are likely all kinds of ways to run cover for her if she doesn't want kids/family to find out.
It'd be more productive to find a way to support her desires, and let her enjoy two weeks in Italy fucking herself senseless. There are likely all kinds of ways to run cover for her if she doesn't want kids/family to find out.
Oh i'm not delusional, i fully know that she is asking me as a courtesy, and if she determines she is going we will make it work, like we have all the other things she has done over the last 5 years. But yes, we will have to figure a cover story.
Because i wanted to discuss it? And its not 100%, she has said she doesn't have to go, and is thinking about it. You of course are free to kindly fuck off.
I wasn't inferring that you are the one who's delusional - this site has a couple of resident trolls, my comment was aimed at that.
Let her go, you don't want her regretting missing out. The more you cage the bird the more they want to fly. She wants this. You need to decide how deep a cuck you are willing to be and what it means if she has a boyfriend, if you back out now it has it's own consequences too, so you have a lot to think about. I would let her go but that's me.
It might be worth having the conversation about protecting the primary relationship. Don’t misunderstand me here. I am not saying to not let her go to Italy. But IF she goes, she needs to remember it’s you to whom she is married. Sure, tell her go have a great time, but make sure she knows not to get lost in the adventure.
I wouldn't let my gf to spend two weeks with her current bull, or with a newer one...
We had a weekend's arrangement and in some point she asked me to date him him during the week as well. Not all the night, but they spent 3-4 hours together. And during those weeks I felt our relationship got ver cold.
And the thing is you need to split between sexual desire and spend time together. I told her directly, this was going to destroy our relationship. And fortunately she understood and now we arranged another basis. So I can spend with her much more time.
I'm your case, I think there is a huge risk of having her in love with him... That's my opinion mate, but every relationship is different.
I understand you want to please her and make her happy, but she must understand that's too much...
Let us know what happened
We had a weekend's arrangement and in some point she asked me to date him him during the week as well. Not all the night, but they spent 3-4 hours together. And during those weeks I felt our relationship got ver cold.
And the thing is you need to split between sexual desire and spend time together. I told her directly, this was going to destroy our relationship. And fortunately she understood and now we arranged another basis. So I can spend with her much more time.
I'm your case, I think there is a huge risk of having her in love with him... That's my opinion mate, but every relationship is different.
I understand you want to please her and make her happy, but she must understand that's too much...
Let us know what happened
I agree with others that it’s a very big request. There’s ways to cover for it as the likelihood of them running into someone there is minimal assuming you all have no ties there. Outside of our sex lives I would miss my wife and we have too much going on to fulfill something like that should it ever come up.
I agree with @jw_kk as far as her either wanting to come out with her and your relationship or just have it or him be more involved in your lives. Recently my wife came out to a friend of hers I’ve been like a big brother to for a long time and she feels a sense of relief. So much so they and another friend of my wife are going on a group date with two guys they met on a girls night and another friend. I realize it’s selective and there may be people you don’t want to know but it’s liberating as well.
Above it all you do what feels comfortable. Personally it would be a red flag for me if my wife wanted that much time with someone else but all of us are different thankfully.
I have no idea as to what to do. Just thinking about your wife going away for that long and getting fucked that much is maybe to hot to handle.
I wouldn't let my wife go on vacation with her Bull for two weeks. Believe me, things will be different after that and she will divorce you at the slightest provocation. Sex is one thing, but living together for 2 weeks is a completely different thing. Regardless of how you can explain their absence to those around you. The way we always do it is that the three of us go on vacation. We usually go on cruises and either book 2 cabins next to each other or a small suite. She and her bull then appear on board as a couple. I am then known as her brother.
If you could explain her absence for two weeks to Everyone, would you be happy with it?
Wife spent 3 days and two nights in the arms of her lover many years ago..It was one of mine, not hers fantasies. We lived 2 hours away, and in his city, chances were slim to none of being caught..no kids at home, so not concerned. He, like us, is a professional so he had as much to lose. They had a great time being husband and wife, shopping, looking at homes, nice romantic dinners. She sent me pics along the way.
This was 11 years ago.....her mind got in the way of her body, and her body was going thru the change and she quit seeing him, or anyone, other than almost every day texts.
Fast forward..he called a month or so ago, and she invited him to come to the house. They spent 4 hours together, talking, cuddling, kissing etc. She agreed to meet him last week for lunch..shopping, talking. When I picked her up she told me he would love to go on another trip, this time out of state when he goes to conferences he often goes to. He is also married, no kids at home. She asked me what I thought..my first question was "how do you feel about it?" She thought it would be fun as he is a true gentleman, attentive, ready to go wherever she wants, gentle, and a very good lover, always making sure she is satisfied before he is. Her type of man...He is checking his calendar to pick one out, which I am all in favor of. I trust him, consider a friend, and I took her shopping at VS for some lingerie just for him.
Will be seeing him again next month, hopefully some cream pie afterwards..By the way, we are in Deep 'South USA and he is black skinned. They sure do draw some looks...she is beautiful, thin, fairly tall, a real MILF..
Your situation would scare me a bit..2 weeks is a long time, be careful, need to have a long deep talk about her feelings.
This was 11 years ago.....her mind got in the way of her body, and her body was going thru the change and she quit seeing him, or anyone, other than almost every day texts.
Fast forward..he called a month or so ago, and she invited him to come to the house. They spent 4 hours together, talking, cuddling, kissing etc. She agreed to meet him last week for lunch..shopping, talking. When I picked her up she told me he would love to go on another trip, this time out of state when he goes to conferences he often goes to. He is also married, no kids at home. She asked me what I thought..my first question was "how do you feel about it?" She thought it would be fun as he is a true gentleman, attentive, ready to go wherever she wants, gentle, and a very good lover, always making sure she is satisfied before he is. Her type of man...He is checking his calendar to pick one out, which I am all in favor of. I trust him, consider a friend, and I took her shopping at VS for some lingerie just for him.
Will be seeing him again next month, hopefully some cream pie afterwards..By the way, we are in Deep 'South USA and he is black skinned. They sure do draw some looks...she is beautiful, thin, fairly tall, a real MILF..
Your situation would scare me a bit..2 weeks is a long time, be careful, need to have a long deep talk about her feelings.
Any updates?
By now your wife has had lots of time to consider all (or at least many of) the potential issues that come with her request. Either way you go I think you'll base your decision on the lesser of two evils rather than the possible benefits you may receive from your very generous consent.
As you mentioned I'd be greatly concerned about when she returns will she treat you well, or the same, or better. Will she push for more weekends after you said yes to two weeks away? Does she want to experience what it would be like with another man and make believe he's her husband publicly in a place where she has little risk of being caught by someone she knows? The list of questions I'd want to ask would be never ending.
I get "doing it for her", or "I want to make her happy", but there are some considerable risks here. Granted there are risks in everything but these risks are "next level". There just doesn't seem to be very many men that say upfront and right out, "What's in it for me?" Why is that question for husbands so taboo? I also understand that so much of what you read here is pure fantasy or the very small percentage of people truly in some alternative form of lifestyle. I generally hope for the latter and tend to believe a post until it becomes impossibly unrealistic.
By now your wife has had lots of time to consider all (or at least many of) the potential issues that come with her request. Either way you go I think you'll base your decision on the lesser of two evils rather than the possible benefits you may receive from your very generous consent.
As you mentioned I'd be greatly concerned about when she returns will she treat you well, or the same, or better. Will she push for more weekends after you said yes to two weeks away? Does she want to experience what it would be like with another man and make believe he's her husband publicly in a place where she has little risk of being caught by someone she knows? The list of questions I'd want to ask would be never ending.
I get "doing it for her", or "I want to make her happy", but there are some considerable risks here. Granted there are risks in everything but these risks are "next level". There just doesn't seem to be very many men that say upfront and right out, "What's in it for me?" Why is that question for husbands so taboo? I also understand that so much of what you read here is pure fantasy or the very small percentage of people truly in some alternative form of lifestyle. I generally hope for the latter and tend to believe a post until it becomes impossibly unrealistic.
Can always tell when people are REALLY involved, as this proves, and those that THINK they can run the show and are living in a fantasy world!! LOL I have been lucky in that I was able to "hide" my indescretions as work related trips also. And the intensity of my affairs is SIGNIFICANTLY more intense as a result of being able to spend time away from home and alone with my Lovers. 4 day weekends, week long conventions, and my favorite was spending a full month at the Corporate Condo in CLearwater with my Boss/Lover doing "business planning"........which we did do, for sure, but we also sprinkled it with LIBERAL amounts of sex!!
Not sure when the trip is/was planned, but if you did not (or don't) encourage this, you're going to be really sorry in the long run. She is at a point in their relationship where she WANTS to be alone with him and act like a newlywed couple. If you get in the way of this, you may find yourself seen as an obstacle, versus an active participant, and that only pushes them closer together and further away from you.
This is excellent advice from jw_kk, its obvious they live the lifestyle and have experienced this in reality. J (the wife)
