Im just reading the signals wrong, everytime single time

[McCuckWannabe]

You completely right, looking at it from that perspective jts maybe time to end this fantasy

 

[Demented_Donny]

Hi all, joined a while ago but haven't posted much.

I am sitting with whatever dilemma. Was hoping someone else's insight could help here.
My wife knows for 10+ years now that I enjoy cuckold.

However, she would tell me things like she enjoys flirting, which she does naturally and I have told her it's a turn on for me as well, she has gone out of her way to flirt on multiple occassions without my knowledge.
She knows I share her nudes online and she likes it, for her it's interesting how many men like it, almost like a confidence boost in a way.
She would tell me so many times how she accepts andand for me to be myself, which is wonderful, yet when we have sex I would ask her if I may speak about my fantasy and ill explain why in a little bit, however she says yes in a playful, fun way almost as if she is excited.

During this time she is sucking my cock and it will get to the point where I'll want to have sex and finish inside her, yet she stops me and tells me she is not I the mood now, if I ask why her whole attitude changes and she tells me to just leave it, I would ask again and she will say that my fantasy doesn't turn her on, even makes her dry and she completely stops and walks away.

So at the end of all this I feel like complete crap, because I opened up to her, even asked if it's alright to talk about it, though being told to be myself and she accepts me and she likes to flirt and has done so. She even told me she will cuck me, just needs to find the right guy. Yet now she is dry and upset? I said nothing out of the ordinary.

we have eve agreed upon meeting I the middle, whereas there is no sex yet she will cuck me in the se se of flirting with someone else.

I feel so confused and somewhat hurt by it, not because I don't get what I want, but because sex is a taboo topic between us. one moment she is onboard next moment she is disgusted by it.

She has no fantasies, she never initiated sex, if I try and sext her during work, she all of a sudden becomes busy, we could be texting the entire day, yet as soon as I talk about sex, she tells me she doesn't have time for it. Or if I say I'm horny, she will do nothing about it, I would have specifically ask for nudes or a sexy pic before getting only a single one, with very little effort.
I'll post below what I mean.

Over the years, There has been no role play, no foreplay or getting one another in the mood, I have to always ask for her to massage my leg when lying in bed together and she will use her foot to massage my leg, I would have ask can you massage my middle leg and I would get hard and she will start yawning to indicate in a polite manner we not having sex or she is tired.

She never once told me she is horny, or excited. never in our marriage.
It's not like we don't have sex though, just it's very straight forward, you basically need to say can you suck/fuck me, and she will say are you ready, as in hard.
regarding the sexting she does send nudes but only at my request.

I'm hoping to get someone else's perspective on this.

so here's the deal. really hear what i am about to tell you and take it to heart. when your wife is having intimate moments with you she wants them with YOU. she doesn't want you to be talking about other guys having her. You should be talking about how hot she makes you, and how much YOU want her. your fantasy is killing your marriage, and you don't even see it.

you need to be in damage control mode right now before it is too late. You have made sex uncomfortable for her. she fears now every time you do something you will bring this shit up again, which she isn't in to. let me repeat this...SHE ISN'T IN TO. She has lost respect for you, and the entire thought of sex now seems like a chore. something she doesn't look forward to and almost resents.

The next time you do anything with her, make it about HER. take your head out of your ass and see what is happening before you. Don't put your goddamn fantasy before your wife. To let her know that the coast is clear you need to quit bringing it up, and one day tell her that you have been selfish with it. That you got so caught up in it you forgot how important she is to you. Tell her you are sorry for bringing it up so often, and that you want to fix what you have broke. Tell her you realize your fantasy has damaged things, and hope she is willing to work with you on trying to get things back to the way they used to be or even better. this will take some time because she will have to develop respect for you again, as well as make sure you have truly dropped this stupid shit.

if you do not, it is only a matter of time she will be with another man and you are out of the picture completely. Remember this is your fantasy NOT HERS. leave it that way or you will regret it.

make plans to do something with her for the day where you two can spend time together and kind of get to know each other again. don't bring this shit up one time. don't try to get frisky with her unless she starts it, but only do what she is willing to do, this needs to be at her pace. don't do anything to kill the mood. While out do something simple like simply holding hands while walking down the beach. have a nice dinner somewhere. be sure to make her the focus of all your attention. make her feel special. be sure to tell her how much you enjoyed spending time with her. how you want to do it again, as it should become a regular thing. you are going to need to start over to fix what you have done.

or keep trying and see what happens...you won't like it.

 

[McCuckWannabe]

Looking at it from this perspective you are completely right, it's about time I end this fantasy and make things about her, thank you.

 

[Demented_Donny]

Looking at it from this perspective you are completely right, it's about time I end this fantasy and make things about her, thank you.

i'm really happy to hear this. I don't want you guys to be another statistic added to the divorce numbers.

 

[Tom Bauer]

I'm in the same spot as you bro. Wife doesn't like the fantasy, has withheld sex over it. It's not worth it to push and end up divorced. It's called fantasy for a reason. No one says you can't like something. But if your wife is saying no, then it's absolutely not. My outlet for my fantasy is my private time or on here talking to people. You need a healthy outlet. If you're giving it up completely, it will take a lot of work. And like it was said on here, but your wife first.

If you want to fix things, take care of your wife. The sexual side of things will come back if you just make it about her. My wife is self conscious, and this fantasy makes her feel worse. So I talk to her about it away from sex. I tell her how I still think about it, and how I plan to either cut back thinking about it or stop all together. That way it doesn't disrupt our sex life and I can properly vent it. Maybe it is best to give it up. Sounds like you're making the right decision